it's not illegal, it's a tort, whereas assault is a criminal offence
Illegal means the same as unlawful. A tort is, therefore, both: it's a civil, rather than a criminal, wrong. Assualt is both a criminal offence and also a tortious act.
I do believe SFB has just solved the big bang theory. Or created a black hole. Not sure which.
Anyway, back ON TOPIC, the primary things that annoy me about MTBers:
1. Faff. My god, just how long does it take to get you and your space craft ready for a couple of hours up a hill.
2. Eye contact. Or the lack of it. It may be because they all work in IT and already have borderline personality disorders, or it may also be that they'd rather asses your conversaiton value on the basis of how "good" your bike is. It's the legs, numpties - they're what get you up the hills.
3. Mountain biking. Apparently in some way a superior pastime than just "riding a bike" or "cycling".