Having strolled out of my door this morning, in sandals (the footwear, not the "oh god! please don't leave me!" holiday resort chain) I was delighted to experience what could only be described as a "foot enveloped within dropped kebab moment", well this got mr thinking…

…the humble kebab, whilst a modern culinary marvel, sadly steady consumption is often well beyond the well doused recreational drinker… But what could possibly replace this bastion of "lamb"?

something that would provide a degree of comfort to the lone sideways rambler as the weave their way home…

This isn't an analogy for the Turkish genocide of the Armenians, is it?

something that affords the same level of grip as the right tyres on the right trails…

I like your thinking Konabunny, but not this time, were purely culinary with this one…

so I considered, what fits the hand better than anything else? what could even the most inebriated hang on to? what could afford the most perfect grasp?

of course! EUREKA!

A MEAT HAND!!

above link and recipe HERE

Easily portable.

Kebab gels?

Or for the more sophisticated.

Fruit and a potato waffle. Interesting combo.

sadly the above link is the only source I can find on the web of MEAT HAND production but I'm sure it would be possible to manufacture a mould to produce said delicacy, I'd like to see the actual palm area hollowed and used as a salad pocket but you get the idea, do you think this is worth the R&D? I think this could make me millions!

What's wrong with gobbling down a humble jumbo sausage?
Arguably even easier to get a good grip on and fits perfectly into a mouth?

I've seen tooo many saveloy accidents resulting in everything from minor burns & ruined clothing to choking and ultimately death, sausages in the wrong hands can be instruments of fatality my friend. (and also once dropped they can rapidly roll away from the user)

jockhaggis – Member

Or for the more sophisticated.

Fruit and a potato waffle. Interesting combo.
Just going to prove that they are indeed waffly versatile.

The Hotdog. Perfectly shaped for eating on the go, the roll keeps the shirt cuffs sauce free, and should trouble arise, it can be used as an accurate 'fling and forget' missile to buy you some time whilst you make your escape.

Don't like this.

Alternatives to the classic elephant's leg could herald the end of the 'Doner Grenade'. A mighty weapon on the battlefield of a South Wales valleys town on Saturday night.

Extra Chilli sauce for that napalm effect…..

[IMG]http://img265.imageshack.us/img265/1835/livergermanysausage400x.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

'Man swallowing sausage' is one of those innocent things you put into google to find a nice innocent picture and leaves you changed forever. What has been seen can't be unseen.

Even better than the hotdog is the Danish pølse which comes with a gravity-proof roll for ultimate traction. Instead of a lateral slice, it has a sausage-shaped hole poked into the bread in which the hot meat is injected. Ample lubrification with condiment eases insertion but also creates anti-ejection vacuum.

Cannabalism has already invented the perfect meat hand. Can't just casually drop or discard it in the hedge that is my garden boundary favoured by the odd late night no longer revelling type on their trudge home. I'm considering sitting in the bushes dressed as 'Freddy ' (of Horror not cricket or cheap flying fame) or borrowing a trumpet.

What about a fondue takeaway allowing you to dip your hand to lick on the way home. If you lived too close to finish they could rent you a smaller hand at exra cost of course. Must be govt start up grants that I could get for this!

In manchester near the science and industry museum. The greatest savloy.