i was watching the tdf today and they were on about this
http://www.velominati.com/blog/the-rules/

surely, i thought, there must be somewhere where there could be an equivalent for mountain bike. i shall start –

1.mtfu

2. bikes should be dirty and scratched to buggery!

3. Anyone trying to impose rules on my riding can **** off.

Just follow the Velominati ones, and adapt as necessary, 31, 32, 45, 52 obviously don’t apply (unless xc racing), 46 doesn’t either. 85 should really be in the top 10, but that’s about it.

HTH.