With inspiration from this site what rules would mountain biking have for those who are afraid to ask.
Please add yours.

the only rule, do it smiling

What made you want to ask the STW crowd?

Singlespeed SPD sandal wearing riders will always be better than people on poncy gears seems like a decent one concidering the people your asking.

tyres are not an excuse skill the **** up

The first rule of bike club……

That power meter for the amateur line is class – like hiring an accountant to tell you how poor you are.

I personally dislike bottle cages on mtb, we have hydration packs now. Less faff on the frames please!

Definitely no cable locks wrapped around the frame, or worse bar and stem.

No reflectors or bells. You should have lights at night and anyone can say “excuse me please”. Unless you are mute, in which case you can have not only a bell but a curly bulb horn too.

No stickers of brands you are not riding/wearing, there’s something tragically aspirational about it.

Fatter tyre on the front, tread in the correct direction.

I struggle with seeing barends, but moreso when they are the wrong way around. If you must, do so correctly please!

Please don’t pedal using the back half of your foot, it’s ugly.

Oh, and don’t let other people tell you what to do 😉

NO JUMPER TYING AROUND THE WAIST WHILE ON YOUR BIKE.

With inspiration from this site what rules would mountain biking have for those who are afraid to ask.
Please add yours.

You reckon being told how to act, think and behave by a bunch of self congratulatory, self righteous, self abusing pricks on an internet site is inspiring & something we should emulate?

God help us all.

How about just chilling out, sitting down and having a think about what YOU’D enjoy, what makes YOU happy & not giving a second thought as to the approval or disapproval of a group of people just as sad and desperate to conform as yourself?

Sorry about this, but cyclists are the worst group of like-minded individuals I know for ruining an otherwise simple and enjoyable pastime with a load of self imposed rules which mean nothing, help no one and alienate the curious.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

You reckon being told how to act, think and behave by a bunch of self congratulatory, self righteous, self abusing pricks on an internet site is inspiring & something we should emulate?

God help us all.

How about just chilling out, sitting down and having a think about what YOU’D enjoy, what makes YOU happy & not giving a second thought as to the approval or disapproval of a group of people just as sad and desperate to conform as yourself?

Sorry about this, but cyclists are the worst group of like-minded individuals I know for ruining an otherwise simple and enjoyable pastime with a load of self imposed rules which mean nothing, help no one and alienate the curious.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

Quite.

The more I read “the rules”, the more I thought to myself the only way punching whoever wrote them could be more enjoyable would be if I had erogenous zones on each fist.

Rule 5…..especially you pair.

Rule 0 – stop posting threads about the rules

I agree that the only rule is that there are no rules. With one exception –

Don’t not take water or inner tubes out with you on the basis that you know your riding buddy will have them. Arsehole.

The cost of the bike should be inversely proportional to the number of grey hairs on your head.

If it’s fun, you’re not trying hard enough.

Never leave anybody… unless they are a ####.

Unless cornering, while freewheeling, cranks should be level.

Or is this too much like practical, good technique?

Rule 1 – Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the obedience of fools.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

Ooh, you are being Mr Grump today, aren’t you.

Not really MTG.

I just resent being told what to do by a group of people who would be sneering at someone’s choice of jumper in a golf club bar if cycling hadn’t been invented. 🙂

Self imposed rules are the worst of all – there are many people out there determined to stop us having fun without helping them ourselves.

Rules like these just play into the hands of the nasty, small minded minority who resent anyone else taking up cycling, usually because they are a bit scared and worried that they aren’t actually very good at it. 😀

jhw – couldn’t agree more with your one exception, have several mates who rely on the fact that the rest of us will have tools, tubes, pumps, food etc Gets my back up, as does the fact that they see it as a freebie and never replace leaving you to buy another tube grrrr. Not expensive but not the point.
Apart from that there is far too much willy waving in our sport, just get on with it and enjoy!

Yep. It’s completely unacceptable but is now an accepted part of the dynamic in the group I ride with. They apologise now when they ask – but still ask. Don’t get me started!

Plus – tubes are expensive – about £6 now, no?

Rules are to be broken.

I wrote this set for STW a few years back..do they still apply?

Rusty spanner, this may help you to understand the rules a little better.

Be on time
Be self sufficient
Wear a helmet
26 inch wheels are stupid
Tyres must point the right way
Wheels should match unless you are on a 69rr
Riser bars with bar ends is punishable by death
As is the offence of putting helmets or forks on the wrong way round
Bikes should be clean at the start of a ride
If you get a mechanical know how to fix it

I know it’s a parody 🙂 , a very, very good one, but by definition a parody refers to real life.

Just look at all the ‘how do I carry stuff on a road bike’, ‘can I wear my baggies on a road bike?’ ‘what colour should my bike be?’ & ‘how wide should my bars be?’ threads.

Anyway, I’m off for a road ride.
In my MTB shoes 😀

I just did a road ride in Converse…bite me

“Anyway, I’m off for a road ride.
In my MTB shoes”
I hope you’re wearing a peaked helmet too.