"It is widely known the the newsprint used in most newspapers can rub off and stain your hands black. The Mail has discovered a wonderful alternative formula, that rubs off and stains your thoughts Tory. Hence the slogan: You don't have to be conservative to read this but you will be when you put it down."

Uncyclopedia send-up of The Dail Mail

Common Headlines

PAEDOPHILE ASYLUM-SEEKERS SWAMP BRITAIN
BAN THIS SICK FILTH!
TIDE OF ASIANS UNSTOPPABLE
WORKING WOMEN – WHY OH WHY?
SIKHS IN SURREY: IS NOWHERE SAFE?
**** RUN WILD IN TUNBRIDGE WELLS
FURY AS MUSLIM MOVES NEXT DOOR
NOW IN BROWN'S BRITAIN BEING RACIST IS "RACIST"
LESBIAN ASYLUM-SEEKERS TORMENT MIDDLE-ENGLAND
BOY IN ROAD ACCIDENT AFTER PLAYING RESIDENT EVIL 4!
WORKING CLASS SCUM WITHIN 50 MILES OF YOUR SUBURB
WILL WHITE BRITONS GO THE WAY OF THE RED SQUIRREL?

"Hurrah! Give Fascism a chance !"
HOW BROWN FLEECES MIDDLE-CLASS TO FUND GAY ADOPTION
ARE BRUSSELS BUREAUCRATS DEFRAUDING HARD WORKING BRITS?
EVIL ISLAMIC NEWSPAPERS PRINT EXAGGERATIONS AS HEADLINES!
98 YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER DIES AFTER CHILD RECEIVES TRIPLE JAB – "NO COINCIDENCE" SAYS DOCTOR
GOOD OLD NICK GRIFFIN BASHES A BLACK AGAIN, QUEEN REFUSES MBE

😆

"Daily Mail – brilliant"

three words you don't often see in close proximity…

EVIL ISLAMIC NEWSPAPERS PRINT EXAGGERATIONS AS HEADLINES!

Pot/kettle?

quality 😀

I'd have thought that the Daily Mail would've worked out a special formula for the ink that makes your hands turn white.