After the success of getting my 2 year old to tell my wife that “you’ve got big Rs mummy” as we decorated his little brother’s bedroom with large A-Z lettering, tonight I spent an inordinate amount of time getting him to ask her to “take the pith” off his orange.

Anyone else amuse themselves this way?

Yup, my kids used to ask for a fork’n knife at dinner. I cried laughing every time.

Yeah, funny at the time, but can come back to bite you later. Be warned!

(The more formal the occasion, the more they will embarrass you, and learn to take great delight in it)

Yes, I do…

I once got my little niece to say to my wife in front of a room of people “You can’t park”, after she’d arrived late and struggled to get a parking space. It caused much hilarity.

Niece is in her 20s now, so it must’ve been long long ago.

Daily occurrence here.

My favourite is when the little lady farts, over the course of a few days I enquired “what do you say?” and then corrected with “No, it’s ‘Ave some of that!“

Cue sitting at dinner table with inlaws, and she farts and cries out “Ave some of that Nanny!”

Pretty sure I’ll burn in hell

We often have pancakes for Saturday breakfast. When they were young I taught them to cheer wildly if I flipped it properly, but shout ‘useless tosser’ if I got it wrong.

Recently, we’ve brought back the old usage of ‘muff’ as in ‘mess up’ (it’s from chitty chitty bang bang, where lord scrumptious tells Potts he ‘had your chance, muffed it’). But did mean that while playing crossbar challenge in the park earlier I had to ask my daughter not to shout ‘MUFF!’ quite so loudly.

Mine sometimes remember to say ‘sew a button on that’ after a trouser cough. And generally refer to their bawbags as their hanging brains.

One of mine walked up to his gran once and asked ‘pull my finger….’ 😆

Taught my daughter to snigger like Muttley.