My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer at the weekend. Like a bolt out of the blue it has hit everyone incredibly hard. We won't know what stage it is at until the end of this week but we are all currently struggling to come to terms with it. She turned 60 a few months ago and is fit, healthy and generally looks after herself.
I realise that millions of people go through this all the time but I'm struggling to find a means to cope with the worry of it. I'm an only child and we have a small family. I'm worried sick about my mum obviously. I'm worried about my dad who doesn't know what to do or how to cope. My mum is a natural worrier and she hasn't slept since she was diagnosed. She's telling everyone not to worry and seems only to be concerned about my dad and I, which in turn is making me feel worse because while I can cope with my own concerns and stress I can't cope with the idea that they will be worried and stressed. I don't want them to go through this and I feel so helpless and so I am putting on a facade that I'm not worried and that I'm confident everything will be fine so they don't worry about me. So in the end we have a group of people all terrified who are acting like they aren't terrified so as not to cause one another to be terrified.
I'm endlessly scouring the net looking for information and although there is so much positivity regarding breast cancer I have it in my head that I'm going to lose my mum and my dad will then be on his own struggling to cope. I'm panicking about things that haven't happened and may not happen and playing out these scenarios in my head. The moment I woke up this morning the thought was in my head. I was thinking about how I would come to terms with losing my mum, how my dad would manage, how I would be able to help my dad, just playing out this scenario that hasn't happened, just endlessly bleak thoughts.
Sorry all for the depressing thread and I'm not sure what I am looking for here. Just getting it off my chest I suppose.