Right then.

After the Trackstand on a nice bike thread, I'm curious to how awesome you all are. So List your mad skills here.

This is a Willy Waving contest. Ladies are entitled to use breasts as required.

I'll start.

I can:

Wheelie for a few meters
Bunnyhop on the flat about 1 foot in height
Trackstand for no more than 30 seconds
Grab a little air as long as the run out is wide and flat (its not on most singletrack 🙁 )
Endo 180 to flip the back wheel around and change direction….sometimes.

Non of that.

Trackstand, yep until I get bored, thus earning my £3500 bike. 😉
Wheelie, sort of, for a couple of pedal turns.
Manual, once, by accident.
Bunny hop, about 8".
Endo to 180, no, 45 is more like it.

STW wheelie club anyone?

I can:
Bunnyhop 2, maybe 3 feet (never measured), but only from a stationary start and only straight up and down and only in flat pedals…so completely useless on the trail.
Do 180 degree endo’s followed by 180 degree back wheel spin thing, i.e. I spin 360 degrees on both wheels
No footed endo’s
Back wheel hops, but only stationary ones, can’t move forwards or do anything useful with them
Trackstand for pretty much as long as I want, but only facing up hill so I can rock on the pedals, any use of the brake and the game is over

So generally a few badly executed trials skills with all usefulness removed due to my incompetence. I’m well good me…

I'm so lacking in skills one guy I ride with is of the mistaken belief that my tyre choice is too blame for me crashing on the downs and spinning out on climbs all the time.

Bunnyhop – Check
Wheelie – Check
Trackstand – Until I get bored!
Endo flicks – Check. Sometimes….not very good at them on really steep switchbacks
Air – Check
Manual – On the little bike, but just can't hack it really well on the bigger bikes

I can:-

– trackstand until just before the traffic lights change;
– wheelie when no-one is watching; and
– endo so hard that I fly over the bars.

😀

I've never tried.

Probably a no to all apart from the bunnyhop.

I can't do any of the mentioned, thus I will hearby be putting my £3.5k Heckler on the Classifieds, as I obviosuly, I can't warrent owning it.

I will, of course, be stopping off at ASDA to buy a £70 bike from them, as it is more suited to my ability.

I can bunny hop (the cheaty spd kind though, not the proper kind) and I can get a bit of air off a drop or jumpy bit in the right conditions, if there's an r in the month or something.

Can't do much else though.

I can wheelie, trackstand, bunnyhop (on flats thank you very much)im just waiting for a certificate from Alpin to say that im allowed my 3k bike.

can just about bunnyhop 18" accross drainage ditches when needed – what's this height stuff you speak of….. 😀

i've seen a horse fly, even seen a house fly, aint never gonna see an MM fly!
(with apologies to Disney…)

edit – mists of time just cleared – in days of yore I could bunnyhop me BMX over the cross bar of another BMX, twixt seat and stem..

drifiting (learnt this when my brakes cooked once on a long decent, I've not replaced the brake pads since!)

90deg+ endos

wheelie – an indeterminate distance depending on luck.

manual – ditto the wheelie

trackstand – long enough for the lights to change

Jumps – stepup's and tabletops sorted, big doubles and stepdowns still scare the bejesus out of me.

Bunnyhop – quite well on the MTB, quite shockinly on the BMX

Skids – rad'core'to'the'max

Trackstand til I'm bored, one-handed til I realise what I'm doing
Bunnyhop, enough to pre-jump downslopes (do I get extra points for that?)
Wheelie, for a couple of cranks until I reach the balance point, get scared and hit the rear brake
Manual, on pump tracks and over lumps and bumps and stuff, long showy displays on flat ground, no never, same issue as wheelies
Jumps, ok on doubles, can hip a bit, sometimes give the bars a pathetic tweak if someone's watching. Big, proper dirt jumps frankly scare me though.

Bunnyhop about 18in on a good day, but only on flats. It's scary that high on SPDs
Wheelie 10 yards on a good day
Manual a bit less
Trackstand pretty much indefinately
Do a few back hops, then bunnyhop out of it back to flat
I used to ba able to do no-footed endos, but never tried it on a MTB
Same for one-footed jumps
I can jump small doubles
Most of my feeble jumps have an X-up in them somewhere
I can trackstand with the front wheel turned 90 degrees, using my feet on the top of the wheel to balance, but it's hard on a MTB because they're too long and flexy.
After a LOT of practice I once did a tail-whip on a BMX, on the flat
Few other bits and bobs I used to be able to do on BMXs – I can ride round a mini ramp, grind a bit, ride fakie about 5 yards…….

😀

I'm not as good as I used to be….
😉

EDIT
Oh, I can ride pretty much forever no-handed as well.
That's the one that always surprises me: MTBers that can't ride no-handed. I even know a couple that won't ride one-handed…….. 😕

I can ride my bike.

….with no handlebars?

😉

Most of my feeble jumps have an X-up in them somewhere

What, handlebars properly reversed? If not then it's just a bar turn. 😉

urm this stunt is probably my crowning glory

it scared the living hell out of me though and i'm now a far wimpier rider as a result 🙁

and maybe this

other than that i can double ok, tweak the bar/back of the bike a bit on jumps, drop 3 or 4 ft to flat from static, and i'm effin AWESOME at the 'not on this bike or these pedals or without armour or when i've got a big job coming up etc' school of excuses.

In a non RAD TO THE MAX stylee i can climb pretty well, descend rocky stuff well on a jey bike and balance on narrow skinnies when my minds in the right place.

i'm crap at track standing, manualing (on purpose), wheelies and bunnyops

What, handlebars properly reversed? If not then it's just a bar turn.

Where I come from, it's an X-up. 😛
I'm not in the air long enough to get much past 90degrees….. 😳

I'm going to have to sell all my mountain bikes as I can't wheelie, trackstand, bunny hop or grab some "phat" air.

Strangely enough, not being able to do any of those things hasn't stopped me getting out and enjoying riding my bikes almost every day for the last few weeks but it seems that's not important…

Where does anyone say (apart from on another thread where the OP has received a richly deserved slating) that if you can't do these things you shouldn't be riding a bike?

You should have a go though, it's more fun than being defensive to a load of strangers on the internet. 😉

im amazing at skidzzz

my biggest skill is holding on for dear life at high speed when I have no real bike skills at all 😀

I can get up things I wouldn't have even attempted a year ago, go down pretty much everything I've encountered that is rollable and can hop small water bars.

I also have the patiently acquired skill of being able to ride the 4 miles home at 1:00am after 5 pints after the regular Thursday evening ride. Have not yet mastered the ability to be efficient on the Friday after said session

Does 40 odd mph downhill (road) with no saddle and a seatpost trapped between my cheeks count as skills? If so, then i had skill on Saturday.

Other than that, bunnyhop pretty high (much easier on flats than spd's), crap wheelies, manual ok, ride no-handed forever, used to ride mini ramps and bowls a bit (bmx), old school bmx frame stands (standing on toptube no-handed, several hundred yards on a bmx, not tried on mtb), endos, no foot endos, small doubles (bmx only). Oh and i'm really good at sitting around criticizing other people skills, even when they are miles better than me.

Shame i'm a fat biffer who struggles when it starts going uphill.

I am that good that they have not built a bike expensive enough for my skills 😆

I got my gnar up to a 3 or 4 on saturday.

I can lift my front wheel high enough to get over kerb-sized obstacled and then get my back wheel to follow.
I can loft the bike over drainage ruts and puddles, but it's not a bunny hop.
I can trackstand for a little while (not a proper trackstand through, as surely you need a fixed wheel for that?).
I can jump off the steps in the town centre, but only up to about a foot high.

Really, my bottle runs out before my skills. I could probably go a lot faster downhill than I do.

My biggest skill would appear to be not giving up and jamminess 🙂

Is pedalling like im possessed in the direction of a kicker and just clearing stuff while landing with the weight of ten men count as a skill??

Can't really manual, can wheelie, do sidehops and bunnyhops at speed with reasonable accuracy so seems handy for xc. Some days I can trackstand indefinitely sometimes I get wobbly; probably to do with traces in my blood. The skill I would love is the ability to lose a stone and a half and then be the spanker not spankee on climbs.

I have done a Bogtrotter's ride and not fallen in one of many fords. That has to count for something?

I can do all of those, although not particularly consistently or with a great amount pf confidence. I'll probably need to swap bikes for a 1993 KHS to relearn.

Grab a little air – if its a very small lip or a flat drop. I get unbalanced on kickers.

Nothing else.

Googel books for tech skills

I can find ruts where no one else can.

Sorry I can't do anything of that.. Just average mtbers… But I don't have an expensive bike and it doesn't stop me to enjoy riding 😀
On the other end I can make black paëlla even my grand mother says if very nice. Salmon tartare like no one, chocolate brownie that is praised in the whole kingdom, chocolate fondant that are apparently "better than sex (I shall point that it was said by someone I did not had any sexual acquaintances with), pizzaladière in a pure "nissart" style and so on and so on.

Plus I can wash dish better than anyone on here…

So now did I won anything? :d

I can only wheelie for one pedal stroke whilst clipped in as that results in me flat on my back 😯
I can't manual
I can almost bunnyhop
If I can get a fag paper between my tyres and the ground then I'm stoked at getting some phat air 😀

I have an expensive bike, and injury permitting, I enjoy riding it very much