So what rules and notes are attached to walls, doors, machinery at your workplace or leisure facility.

eg, tea bags must not be left on sink,use the bin.

close the fridge door,

etc etc

No smoking

No slap ‘n’ tickle o the wenches.

Do not throw rubbish in the urinal. That’s appeared over the past few days. Why would anyone think it’s a good idea and need a sign saying not to do it?

mine is ” you must use the handrail on the stairs and if carrying anything you must use the lift”

None, really, ‘cos my ‘workplace’ is either the team car or whatever car I’m given to drive, so normal traffic rules apply, plus most of the auction sites and hubs require hi-viz as well, which is only sensible, when you see how many cars are being driven around and the number of transporters are often lined up being loaded-unloaded.
Common sense rules.

the hand rails and lifts thing is weirdly sensible. it seems obvious, but a little thing can make a huge difference. There is a sign in the lift at my old work asking staff and service users to refrain from defecating in the lift.

None at my place of work, but I did have to make a some signs for one of the largest bakeries in the south west, to read…
No Spitting in the bakery.

Mmmmm nice. Not that it is a stupid rule, it is for the terminally thick agency staff they employ.

Our fire alarm gets tested once a bloody week FFS !

Who in the f**king world doesn’t know what to do when the bloody alarm goes off. We are in a pi55ing office, not a petrochemical arms factory.

Made lots of, Please leave this toilet as you wish to find it, signs.
It does beggar belief that we need signs like this in some places.

A bit like the use handrail or lift if you are carrying anything signs, loads of places have a “reverse park only” rule.

Because you wouldn’t know it wasn’t working, until there was a fire and it didn’t. It’s not so people know what it sounds like, that should be covered in the induction.

Anyay,

Don’t stick your knob in the bacon slicer.

My wife’s old place – SSE

A disciplinary offence to park your own car in the company park park (or any car par in company time) front first. Also a disciplinary to walk up or down a stairwell without having one hand on the rail either in an SSE building or any other building on work time.

Not really a stupid rule, but in the gents’ loo there is a sign saying “Please do not urinate on the floor”. If you’re the sort of person who’s going to piss on the floor is a sign really going to stop you.

Worked at a ……..(2nd thoughts, better not say), one sign in their kitchen that will haunt me forever!

Do not wipe you cock on the coffee cups!

No dry humping!

Sad but true…

Fire notice in block of flats, If you discover a FIRE alert neighbours by shouting FIRE, and leave the building

The stair one really annoys me. Piece of nonsense.

The benefit of working for a small, sensible and generally loaded with common sense organisation is I am struggling to think of any.
We have a tool box labelled ‘sharp and dangerous things’.
I get frustrated by our filing system sometimes. But then I am a thicky.

FAR

TOO

MANY

……..

In the gents toilets at our office.

“When in use the shower door must remain closed at all times”!!

I always think signs go up after an incident which makes this even worse!

I once had a secretary try to convince me that because I didn’t wear a helmet when cycling to work the life insurance policy wouldn’t cover me in the event of an accident.

“Hot water is hot” lol

We recently had an email go out and our employees handbook updated with new policy: no eating or drinking at your desk. Disciplinary offence.

It’s been completely ignored by absolutely every one.
So technically it’s not a disciplinary offence, as it can be easily proven that it’s an established practice, and could be turned around into a victimisation grievance if anyone got pulled up on it.

But as above, it’s usually because of an incident, probably someone bought some kippers in one day or something.

Desperate isn’t it, my last and final employer literally went round the twist and started putting silly signs up everywhere, ‘disabled access ramp available’ there was never a ramp, he even told a visiting rep it had been stolen! Bizarre, Anyway lots like that. That was when I decided I would never work for anyone ever again.

Not a role but on the stood sign front:

Caution! soap.

No bombing
No diving
No heavy petting
No running

No Kettles.

How we cope at home is a mystery

I printed this out and stuck it up today, I really shouldn’t have had to…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_brush

After some imbecile broke the kettle by boiling it empty a laminated sign appeared above the replacement. Works better with water.

We also have a broken microwave with a sign reading Do Not Use Rusty Inside. I don’t know who Rusty is, but I feel sorry for him in winter.

Another one for the ‘added after an incident’ type signs..
On a card access door in a narrow corridor: “please do not bend down with a lanyard around you neck to use this card reader”
I never did find out who had a door opened in to the top of their head.

Nothing wrong with kippers at work

Especially after you’ve repeatedly told people to keep the grill free from bacon fat.

All those fish bones maturing in the bin over the weekend………

Grill is kept clean now!

The stair one really annoys me. Piece of nonsense.

I know (knew) someone who died falling down stairs. Her family didn’t think it was that nonsensical.

One of our offices – in America I’ll hasten to add – has signs on the stair cases.

“Consider velco, it’s safer than laces!”

“One hand on the handrail at all times!”
(with a secondary sign asking people to rat on their colleagues to their manager)

Now I’m trying to remember them I can’t remember all of them, which is annoying. More when I remember.

The toilet signs in my work place are truly something to behold. After we started taking a large influx of foreign workers with different cultural habits, it seemed people needed some lessons on using the bog properly. Basically pictures on how to sit on the loo. Don’t use your feet to flush etc.

Really?

I know (knew) someone who died falling down stairs. Her family didn’t think it was that nonsensical.

I know it’s horrible to have an accidental death, but unless there was a spillage of castrol Gtx in the stairwell that wasn’t cleaned up, it’s just bad luck?

You can’t legislate everything, people have a duty of care to themselves and a responsibility to not do something potentially dangerous, like walking down the stairs.. Maybe they should have been forced to wear a crash helmet before partaking in such a risky activity?

Maybe there’s more to the story, care to elaborate? I’m not being insensitive, just objective.

“please do not wear flop flops when treating patients”

In a dentists

I know, right

“Please use the brush if you leave marks”. To be fair it wasn’t a sign actually but an email after a riding mate have visited trap 2…….

Do not flush ammunition or pyrotechnics. With a picture of bullets and a grenade.
Worrying thing is you just know that sign exists because someone did exactly that.

I like handrail signs. I love toolbox talks.

Usually means the company is taking H&S seriously with management leading as they wish others to follow. If it prevents falls on an oil rig then it should apply in the offices onshore too.

Scottish Power management used to not bother with PPE on site…but a H&S person made them and got results from the staff further down the line.

Best safety briefings I have seen are from the Ocean Youth Trust and best fire training I have seen is theatre royal Bath. They do a full evac with an audience every week after the last show.

The stair one really annoys me. Piece of nonsense.

Last place I worked a woman fell on the stairs and ended up with badly broken ankle. She was carry a couple of boxes.

My knee is a bit dodgy so I know always hold the handrail going downstairs.

The news about ‘avocado hand’ made my chuckle. Work decided to to hand out fruit as part of a healthy living initiative. It had been up and running for a few weeks when the office manager sent an email warning everyone about the stones in plumbs.