Physics is just as bad:
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Stuff your teacher lied about.
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Posted 9 months ago #
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Teachers always told me that school days are the best of your life. Well, I can say with certainty that they were not. I despised that place.
Posted 9 months ago # -
So what's a "palombe" then?
Posted 9 months ago # -
During a detention DICKtation means something VERY different
Posted 9 months ago # -
You don't need to do a practical subject at university - just study whatever you find interesting and you'll get a job when you graduate. Ha!
(I think quite a few people in my generation fell for this one)Posted 9 months ago # -
pedalhead - Member
That's essentially correct. If the planet didn't rotate, there would be no cyclones or anti-cyclones.
My RE teacher at secondary school told us the clouds moved through the sky due to the earth's rotation. I guess that's why he wasn't the geography teacher.Posted 9 months ago # -
Cyclones and anti-cyclones form mainly because of pressure differentials caused by unequal heating of the earth.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Our applied maths teacher told us he'd been bird watching when we'd seen him in the Humber bridge car park. Definitely not masturbating during his lunch hour then.
We were also told that if we bought our attractive blond history teacher enough drinks when we were skiing, she'd probably strip for us. She did, just for some of the other teachers (and the bastards got us to pay for it too!).
Posted 9 months ago # -
The square route of 12 is 4. I ended up in the corridor
Posted 9 months ago # -
That I would hardly feel a thing
Posted 9 months ago # -
My Maths teacher, told me that I would fail at everything in life
Posted 9 months ago # -
Read a couple of interesting articles a few years back on lying as a way of teaching.
Played with it myself a few times and it's fun. Throw a few totally made-up facts in amongst the good stuff and let your students tell you you're wrong.
Relies on having a few sharp kids in the class though.
slainte
rob
Posted 9 months ago # -
The square route of 12 is 4.
Depends how accurate your slide rule is
Posted 9 months ago # -
The square route of 12 is 4. I ended up in the corridor
I got the same treatment for pointing out that 20% of 5 was 1, and not 1.3 recurring.
Posted 9 months ago # -
My Maths teacher, told me that I would fail at everything in life
In year 7, I was told I'd never make it past year 9.
This is one of my favourite articles on wikipedia.
Posted 9 months ago # -
That wiki article is cool. Just discovered the following...
"Humans have more than five senses. Although definitions vary, the actual number ranges from 9 to more than 20."Posted 9 months ago # -
My A-Level maths teacher:
"I'm just going to do some photocopying"
...Comes backs at end of lesson stinking of sherry...
Posted 9 months ago # -
"Stars are sparks from the Sun"
The stupid bitch
Posted 9 months ago # -
From my chemistry teacher when I was 15
"You'll never be able do do anything in science, specially not chemistry"Posted 9 months ago # -
climax vegetation
what a load of bollox
Posted 9 months ago # -
Some of my ex-students still don't believe me that there's a cable under the sea that carries voice and data transmissions.
Posted 9 months ago # -
I also got the "you'll never make it through 6th form" thing.. just about scraped through, went to uni and got a first (albeit in a fairly easy subject).
Posted 9 months ago # -
"Thunder is the sound made by clouds crashing into each other"
I was 3 years old in nursery. TBH, I thought it was quite a good explanation really, and perfect for a small child. I don't think I wooduv got me head round the real reasons for it at that tender age.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Read a couple of interesting articles a few years back on lying as a way of teaching.
Played with it myself a few times and it's fun. Throw a few totally made-up facts in amongst the good stuff and let your students tell you you're wrong.
Relies on having a few sharp kids in the class though.
There was a uni lecturer who told his classes that there was one deliberate mistake in every lecture/handout. A 5age of the mark for the course was given for finding the errors before the following week's lecture. (This also had the advantage that any accidental mistakes could be bluffed away.)
Posted 9 months ago # -
GrahamS - Member
Depends how accurate your slide rule ishaha im not that old
Posted 9 months ago # -
"You'll never amount to anything Wyatt!"
Oh, hang on....
Also, "Stick your hands down your shorts and wrap them around your goolies to keep them warm". I understand now that this was neither true nor acceptable but merely a ruse to get some cheap thrills.
Posted 9 months ago # -
All things bright and beautiful all creatures great and small all things wise and wonderfull the lord god made them all. Bollocks
Posted 9 months ago # -
Go into IT, it's where the money is.
Posted 9 months ago # -
Said she didn't draw around her hand with chalk on the front of my textbook even though the whole class had just watched her do it.
Mad as a stick that Miss Housego but very cute too. Later that term she was found in a store cupboard with a 6th former. Apparently she was doing something very different with her hands though.
Posted 9 months ago # -
1. gravity is caused by 'centripetal force'.
2. toothache is indicative of a cavity in the tooth OPPOSITE the side that actually has it due to the proximity of the teeth to the brain, not enough room for the nerves to cross over to the other side.
These were from secondary school teachers! RC school though...My education was poo! about 13 schools in total due to constant house moves!
Posted 9 months ago # -
My maths teacher said 2 doesnt go into one. I've seen films later in life that prove otherwise.
Posted 9 months ago # -
ransos - Member
Cyclones and anti-cyclones form mainly because of pressure differentials caused by unequal heating of the earth....and why does the planet heat up unequally?
Posted 9 months ago # -
...and why does the planet heat up unequally?
Its a postcode lottery
Posted 9 months ago # -
Great topic
I still have my primary school science book containing a write-up of "an experiment to show that ice is heavier then water". To be fair to the teacher, our results had indeed indicated that ice is apparently DENSER than water, but it wasn't until i was 11 years old and we got the Archimedes talk that I realised the teacher had been wrong on more than just a pedantic level.
And my GCSE biology teacher told us that while intercostal muscles lift the ribcage to expand the chest and draw air into the lungs, it is gravity that pulls the ribcage down again to push air out. I got detention for asking how astronauts manage to breathe while in orbit (served me right, smartarse).
Posted 9 months ago # -
something my maths teacher didn't lie about:
"Bright.....you have two speeds....slow and stop"
hit the nail on the head!!
Posted 9 months ago #
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