Ok.. My lads are 3 and 1

The oldest never quite took to the youngest, our fault in the main as I doted on the oldest and didn’t spend nearly enough time preparing him for the new arrival.. When the youngest eventually graced us with his presence, he didn’t exactly make a good first impression, and screamed every waking minute for the first 6 months with very bad colic.. The oldest has always been quiet and thoughtful and a very keen learner, so this illogical screaming maniac was an abhorrence..

And so now, the youngest adores his older brother, who in turn can’t bare to be in the same space as the poor wee fella.. It’s starting to get quite aggressive, and it makes me sad, and my first instinct is to come down firmly when I see any nasty behaviour, but I feel this is just compounding the problem..

Anyone got any experience of this..? Any handy tips for making this poor betrayed little guy feel a bit more loving to his little bro..?

Obviously there is absolutely no good that can come from a parenting thread, so my flameproof suit is close to hand..

Give the older one positive reinforcement when he is nice to him as opposed to negative enforcement when he is bad…

Might be a little easier to you. Have you also tried sitting him down and explaining everything? Although at 3 there is a chance he won’t understand it’s worth a shot if he is a keen learner and clever kid.

They are brothers and they will always fight. Me and my brother used to fight, my two boys fight, all boys fight!

Electric shock therapy. Use either an insect clicker or a muscle massager.

FWIW, my brother was like that with me – shovelled snow into my pram, used to kick me about a bit (never major, but often) though we’d all play together with the other kids around the place
Prob did me good in the end and were good mates from about 9 onwards – about the time I noticed I was as big as him, oddly 😉

@hora ffs 🙁

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 😀

Welcome to being the dad of 2 boys.
We had the same, only 20 months apart, youngest desperate to be eldest’s best mate, never happened.
They now, get on pretty well but are complete opposites just the occasional Gallagher moments now.

Oh, 3 & 1 you say. Ours are 14 & 15 – looks like a fun decade ahead of you there chap!! 😀

Welcome to the world of two boys. My two are best mates. A gang of two, but they still fight. Lots.

I have always tried to encourage my children to nurture the next one down. it was a bigger challenge with my eldest two as no 2 made an entrance like your second – a bit (understatent!) of a screamer, who then became a bit of a tantrum thrower.

I found the best way to make his sister take to him was to encourage her to teach him things, from simple stuff like jigsaws to help him learn to walk and ride scooters etc. I also made sure she had her own quiet time – making the most of moments that no 2 was asleep or elsewhere.

This appealed to her sensible nature and really gave her pride in her role of big sister. her brother still has moments of being intolerable (he’s nearly 20) but still turns to his sister first and even though they have several siblings they have the closest bond with each other.

luckily my two younger sons got on better from the start but i still encourage the same behaviour, i feel it helps them develop tolerance and understanding generally.

I let mine fight, but they had to observe the rules. No faces, no below the belt, stand back if the other goes down.

And the most important rule – no noise or crying, or both got punished.

Neither had any problem with bullies at school because they weren’t afraid of physical contact.

Rehome the least favourite son

Just wait till your youngest gets a bit older and bigger and seeks revenge.

Me and my brother still fight and don’t really like each other both in our forties

Make them wear sumo suits when they’re alone together. 🙂

🙂 Excellent idea!

Neither had any problem with bullies at school because they weren’t afraid of physical contact.

I wasn’t afraid of physical contact when at school but was still victim to bullying. A group of seven seemed to have it in for me on a daily basis. I could fight one or two but not seven. I tried, though…

🙂

Aptly timed thread.

I’ve just returned from my parents house where I had a bit of a meltdown whilst trying to stop my daughter (9) from repeatedly hitting my son (6) with a scooter!

My parents looked on and when I spoke with them afterwards they reminded me of the battles my brother (3 yrs older) and I had when we were growing up and how:

1. He split my head open with my Grandads walking stick. I still have the scar!
2. I waited up a tree with half a house brick until he came outside and then dropped it on his head. Several stitches required.
3. He deliberately pushed a sledge I was riding onto a frozen lake at the bottom of a hill (I remember being there for what seemed like hours while my dad crawled on the ice to drag me back)
4. I took his front tooth out by smacking him round the back of the head while he drunk water from a tap.

And many, many more….

Happy days.

🙂

Good grounding for the kind of bizzyin’ you do Breggie. 😀

bregante’s #4 is my favourite.

Still fight with my brother and we’re both mid thirties now 😀
GL

Towel-whip them? Works on mrshora..

The problem isn’t with them Yunki, it’s with you. 🙂

Boys fight. All the time.

My lads are fighting from when they wake up to when they go to sleep. Except when they are either eating or joining forces to fight someone else.

hora – Member
Rehome the least favourite son

Working on a last in, first out basis, we left him there for 9 hours today.. and he was still there when we got back!!! Bloody pikeys and their flagrant disregard for the trades description act…

Good grounding for the kind of bizzyin’ you do Breggie.

Oi! I’ll have you know in 17 years I’ve barely left a mark 😉

(joke everybody, okay?)

Edit: quality pic Yunki ! 😆

Yeah yeah bregante. You PCSO’s are only allowed to ride round aimlessly 😉

You should try having two teenage daughters

Really?

hora – Special Member

“Rehome the least favourite son”

It’s his son, not a westie….

Monksie are you Hora-fied? It seems to happen often round here

Ah, thought it was just my boys.

It’s his son, not a westie…

One is now over-fed and doesn’t move from a sofa whereas his energy and guile have found its way into my son 😐

You should try having two teenage daughters

😯 you have my pity..
Whatever!!…

Me and my brother still fight and don’t really like each other both in our forties

That’s just silly isn’t it?

I’ve got 2 brothers, we fought over everything from who had a particular cereal bowl in the morning to trying to get off with the same girl.
I once put my Doc Martens on and SCREEEEEAMED and my older brother to get out in the garden for a fight. He just laughed at me. And probably would’ve killed me (although I was really angry! Gawd knows what about).
The youngest one got picked on so much he grew up a right tough bugger.

We’re all grown up enough now to get on great and help each other out loads.

I struggle with long sentences
HIlarious stw I have not read the whole thread just the OP
I am not readding all thats abbreviation is changed to that FWIW

mine grew out of it though the youngest psent perhaps 18 months attacking the eldest in a biting screaming eye scratching style

They are children they will act like childish idiots but once older and they can play together and start to learn rules it evens itself out – 3 years of consistent parenting about repsonsibilities and consequences helps you get there and of there are one word that describe you it responsible 😉

Remeber they will grow out of it[probably] and you are not expecting instant results.

I have two boys – 7 (just) and 4.

They tend to play together well, play fight a lot, and occasionally squabble to a frustratingly high degree.

I’ve noticed that the youngest will wind up the oldest in an attention-seeking way: any attention from the oldest is better than no attention. So, a bit like the positive attention advocated by somouk, the challenge is to get the oldest to show some good attention to the youngest, and then the squabbling goes away (sometimes)

While they’re still small enough, Pick them both up by the ankles and see if they keep fighting upside down. When you have gently displayed your physical magnificence in such a way they should realise that it’s going to be a long time until either of them is going to be top dog. My dad’s preferred way of stopping fights was to join in (although quite carefully, obviously)

I’ve noticed that the youngest will wind up the oldest in an attention-seeking way

This ^ You should be able to get the older one to understand this

OT- Is this normal, our lad doesn’t like his own food etc but is suddenly very interested if its ours. Basically takes, kicks off if he doesn’t get it so always ends up sharing someones snack/food/dinner/drink. I’m good with this- he wont try it on now. However mrshora- he basically runs rings round her.