Viewing 36 posts - 1 through 36 (of 36 total)
  • Standard units
  • Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    Fryscrapergate has brought a new unit into the public consciousness, specifically the Fried Egg (fE) as a measure of heat. So now we have…

    Heat – Fried Egg (fE)
    Volume (of object) – Double Decker Bus (ddB)
    Volume (of void) – Olympic size swimming pool (OsP)
    Surface area (small) – Postage stamp (pS)
    Surface area (large) – Wales (w)
    Noise – Jumbo Jet taking off (JJ)
    Automotive excellence – Skoda (Sod)

    scotroutes
    Full Member

    Length – distance to the moon
    Lies – Tory party manifesto

    bigdean
    Full Member

    Intelligence in STWer? A TOWIE = 0.66 of a STWer
    Obviously im exagerating

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    Importance of an argument: the TJ (posts)

    “That was really trivial – it got 47 posts on the TJ scale”

    “That must have been important, it’s only .1 of a TJ!”

    mrmonkfinger
    Free Member

    medium sized areas, = XYZ number of football pitches

    bencooper
    Free Member

    Weight: Elephant (El) or Family Car (Fc)

    Height = Nelson’s Column (NCL)

    davidtaylforth
    Free Member

    Gold Ball – When used to describe the size of a cyst/sweliing somewhere on your body (GB)

    andrewh
    Free Member

    http://chrico.mazca.com/calc-about.html .
    .
    Standard definitions here

    trail_rat
    Free Member

    this place really is like reading the script of dave gormans genius radio show sometimes.

    tomhoward
    Full Member

    The ddB is also the standard unit of measurement for large (usually mortorcycle) jump attempts

    binners
    Full Member

    Length of frame ownership is measured in Hora’s

    Top tube length of frame is measured in Micro-Hora’s

    mrblobby
    Free Member

    Size of a foetus on web sites always seems to be expressed in terms of weird American sounding fruit and vegetables. 10 weeks is a kumquat apparently!

    Edit: 25 weeks is a rutabaga… wtf is one of those? And 32 weeks is a Jicama!

    zilog6128
    Full Member

    usually mortorcycle

    CaptJon
    Free Member

    Internal organs = fists

    molgrips
    Free Member

    I like R as a unit of speed:

    The aircar rocketed them at speeds in excess of R17 through the steel tunnels that lead out onto the appalling surface of the planet which was now in the grip of yet another drear morning twilight. Ghastly grey lights congealed on the land.

    R is a velocity measure, defined as a reasonable speed of travel that is consistent with health, mental wellbeing and not being more than say five minutes late. It is therefore clearly an almost infinitely variable figure according to circumstances, since the first two factors vary not only with speed taken as an absolute, but also with awareness of the third factor. Unless handled with tranquility this equation can result in considerable stress, ulcers and even death.
    R17 is not a fixed velocity, but it is clearly far too fast.

    Oh and rutabega is swede.

    terrahawk
    Free Member

    has this got anything to do with teddy bear ham?

    Torminalis
    Free Member

    Size of a foetus on web sites always seems to be expressed in terms of weird American sounding fruit and vegetables. 10 weeks is a kumquat apparently!

    The wife was exceedingly pleased when she got through the pineapple week. That would have been painful! 😯

    rogerthecat
    Free Member

    Level of insanity of a roadie = Red Lights Jumped (RLJ)

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    As you well know Mr Terrahawk, Teddy Bear Ham (TbH) is a very specific unit for measuring the comparative annual running costs (excluding servicing and insurance) between two vehicles. 520 Teddy Bear Hams (Approx 48.4 pints of bitter) is the difference between an SMax and a Vectra.

    Interestingly (or perhaps not). A Vectra is the amount of time it takes for a niggling engine fault to disappear once you have booked your car in to the workshop to have a niggling fault investigated. A Bastard is the amount of time before the fault reappears once you have paid the bill. Both are roughly 10 minutes.

    rogerthecat
    Free Member

    dangerous driving has a sliding scale from A2 to A8 with extreme measurements falling into the Q scale ending at Q7

    mightymule
    Free Member

    Loving this thread 😀

    franksinatra
    Full Member

    Size of woodpile = McMoonters (McM)

    franksinatra
    Full Member

    Extent of paranoid, tinfoil hat wearing anger = Kaesae’s (Kae)

    Torminalis
    Free Member

    The amount of time it takes to realise that you have **** up badly is is a single ohnosecond.

    Liftman
    Full Member

    Unit of measurement for somthing very thin – Baw Hair (Bh)

    franksinatra
    Full Member

    Size of Large Object = Blue Whales (BWh)

    CaptJon
    Free Member

    In management, an individual’s rank is measured in Audis.

    “Derek has just been made associate partner.”
    “What’s that translate to?”
    “Umm… about 2.5 Audis i believe.”

    gofasterstripes
    Free Member

    The time taken to go OTB is a “Shiiii”

    Units of sweatiness are “Swallocks”

    gofasterstripes
    Free Member

    Surface area (large) – Wales (w)

    Made me think of…

    Units of grovel are “Jimbos”

    gofasterstripes
    Free Member

    The chance my mother will remark on the attractiveness of a TV presenter varies from 0 to Brian [in 1/100 units called Cox]- with one Cox being “The full Brian – phraawwgh”

    highclimber
    Free Member

    miketually
    Free Member

    Volume (of large void) – Grand Canyon (GC)

    jock-muttley
    Full Member

    Unit of measurement for somthing very thin – Baw Hair (Bh)

    This can of course be divided further by the use of “Gnats Baw Hair” (GBh)

    miketually
    Free Member

    This can of course be divided further by the use of “Gnats Baw Hair” (GBh)

    The North East England version is a Midge’s Dick (Md)

    richmtb
    Full Member

    Apparently the EU is pushing for a “Belgium” to replace a “Wales” as the non SI unit for large areas.

    Its enough to make me vote UKIP

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