The little lady’s away tonight and tomorrow night. So far my to-do list includes –

1) tinkering in the mancave this evening fitting new cranks and generally having a bit of a sort out.
2) cheeky hour’s ride in the morning, but road or offroad-ish?
3) trumping luxuriatingly on the sofa with one of Cirencester Best Kebabs, er, best tomorrow evening
4) maybe a night ride on the way hom from work tomorrow

What else can I cram in to my two evenings of freedomaching loneliness?

crack one out on your webcam.

hot cheesy action?

What else can I cram in to my two evenings of freedomaching loneliness?

Draw up a list of reasons why, when given two nights of ‘freedom’, the best you can do is farting after a kebab.

May I suggest:

1) Have a good long look at yourself.

[winking emoticon implied]

crack one out on your webcam

I’m after ideas of what I can do after work

Draw up a list of reasons why, when given two nights of ‘freedom’, the best you can do is farting after a kebab.

Okay, will do:

1) I enjoy it
2) I can

🙂

Wear the cats underwear without wiping after a poo.

1) I enjoy it

Well, everyone enjoys their own.

That’s just science.

Off Road
Kebab
Chili sauce
Transformers.
Put stuff in places, and later enjoy finding it exactly where you left it.

What? Coke and hookers not on the initial list?

Who the hell are you trying to kid?

😉

Bucket of trifle after 3 large portions of pie & chips.

Big pooh with the door open.

Toe nail chewing but save the bits in your belly button, pick out later.

All followed up by/during: 12 pack of Stella + 12 big bags of chilli kettle chips.

What? Coke and hookers not on the initial list?

We do that sort of thing on work time, round these parts……

What? Coke and hookers not on the initial list?

Who the hell are you trying to kid?

I’m after ideas for things that I wouldn’t normally do when she’s around.

Big pooh with the door open.

Disney porn??

Disney porn??

Now you’re talking.

piss in every sink in the house

call in sick for work tomorrow and go on a massive bender

have a takeaway plus beer in the bath

I’m after ideas for things that I wouldn’t normally do when she’s around.

Heroin and Rent boys?

piss in every sink in the house

he said he’s ‘after ideas for things that I wouldn’t normally do when she’s around’.

I rest my case Binners.

Rent boys?

I was right all along! hello sailor!!
😉

Heroin and Rent boys?

I’m after ideas that she wouldn’t normally do when I’m around 🙂

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUsLDoEbq8A[/video]

Re-enact Risky Business?

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf6fsyervGw[/video]

Have a massive tattoo of Jesus done, taking up your whole back!

Well people have said that I look like Beckham…

EXACTLY! Carry on the impersination by posting homo-erotic pictures of yourself all over the internet, of you reclining in your y fronts

I would, but you’ve got them all.

Well for a start, bike tinkering should be done in the kitchen not the man cave. And then you should have the bike in your bedroom for the night. Heck maybe even in the bed.

PC/internet/left handed mouse

bike tinkering in the lounge, with beer, with footy on the TV for background

Don’t do the washing up straight after eating.

Don’t do the washing up straight after eating

Whoah there, easy tiger!

Chew the insulation off any electric cables you can find, nibble on the corner of cereal packets and then leave lots of tiny droppings all over the house, especially in the kitchin cupboards.
If you still have time left eat all the cheese in the house.

Take a dump in the kettle and steal a microwave.

Don’t do the washing up straight after eating

They don’t have to witness stuff like this. She’ll just instinctively know

I’m after ideas for things that I wouldn’t normally do when she’s around.

Hoover?

2 minutes after she’s left roll a mahoosive joint and take 30 minutes to smoke it IN THE HOUSE. Then crack a tinnie and fire up your preferred console & fave game. Kill 3 hours on that then have another joint, then watch your choice of TV or a movie drinking more beer or your preferred tiple until you fall asleep on the sofa. Inbetween all that have a front room **** whilst watching pron on your big front room tele. . . now that’s luxury.

I think the only sensible suggestion there is to pull a sickie tomorrow. That way you can start a whole new thread on ‘how to fill a day’ whilst wasting your first night off on this forum

Support Wiska the Ukrainian seeking asylum in EU … in the meantime check out her history with google safe search off.

I will grant her asylum …

😯