So I'm turning 30 in March, and looking to book a function room somewhere to celebrate – inviting friends, family, colleagues from Job A, colleagues from Job B.

Job A is my main 9-5 job, been there over 3.5 years, but will be departing in September to embark on an MSc. They don't know this yet. I've not told them because I work in the construction industry and I've so far been extremely lucky to keep my job. To give them 9 months notice that I am leaving would no doubt influence any future decisions about staff layoff, or indeed may instigate a change in attitude towards me, even though I fully intend to work 100% up until I leave (STW-time excepted!) or at least give the mandatory notice.

So back to the party. Everyone else knows that I am starting an MSc. How do I invite colleagues from Job A without them somehow finding out that I'll be leaving in September – someone's bound to let slip, surely!?

a) I tell Job A now that I'm leaving and hope that they don't consider me for redundancy as work is now picking up
b) Tell everyone else I've invited to "not mention the war MSc
c) Stop worrying about it as the chances of Job A finding out on the night are pretty slim

What would you do, Jeeves?

Do Job A know about Job B at all?

If so, I'd go for 'b'. Or postpone turning 30 'til next year.

(slight hijack – do you have a road bike, Kit?)

You work?!

What jimmy said – delay the 30th party until the summer when you can be seen to be doing the Msc with no fear…

don't tell anybody anything, deny everything if asked and don't worry about what you can't change. happy birthday

Drunken people with secrets never works do they?
Whats worse, if someone lets it slip Job A might feel offended that you didn't/couldn't tell them. Then there's backtracking to do.

If the job A people aren't good enough friends to trust not to sack you or squeal on you then they're not good enough friends to invite to the party.

jimmy – they sure do, but at the moment I've told them its to help me out with spare cash for holidays and the like. (and yes, I've got a road bike)

csb – good point, but two of those work friends at also partners in the company and may consider the point professionally too.

Hmmm, summer piss-up sounds like it might be a good idea actually…

You need to consider the psychology of the individual.

How about not saying anything, if anyone from job A finds out just claim that your looking into doing a MSc part-time / distance learning and then when you hand in your notice tell them you changed your mind and can only do it full-time.

I would certainly avoid the white mess jacket with the brass buttons.

csb post +1