Sadly, it looks like a divorce is inevitable and I think the CSA may have to get involved as my ex will need to start claiming benefits (who I understand have a direct line to the CSA). Children are 8 & 5 and ex is expecting to pretty much keep everything and also get a huge chunk of my income. Obviously, I want to ensure the children are looked after, but not keen on being steam-rollered. Choices are to either go with CSA or get solicitors involved at presumably huge expense.

I’ve read a lot of horror stories about the CSA of old. Does anyone have any recent experience? Are they still a bunch of plague-ridden demons to be avoided at all costs?

The biggest question on your mind right now, needs to be…..

which costume….

On a serious note, I’ve been down this road a few years ago. Surely things aren’t that far gone that you need the CSA or solicitors. That’s like being asked if you want your shit boiled or fried.

I would make the maximum effort imaginable to come to a solution amicably before embarking down either road. There are no winners. But lawyers will **** both of you. And if she’s threatening you with the CSA, tell her to be careful for what she wishes for. The CSA have a habit of coming up with ‘solutions’ that suit nobody. Mainly as they’re ****-wits!!

Please please make every effort to let common sense prevail and work it out between yourselves. or at least agree a period of cooling off, before you get external parties involved . Things have a habit of working out, and arrangements of falling into place, over a period of time. The heat of the moment, during a separation, is a far from ideal time to be making inflexible, legally binding agreements about your children’s future.

My mate was paying £200 a month for his daughter until a big falling out with his ex who then got the CSA involved. He now pays £160 a month as a result. Happy days. 😀

Depends on your earning TBH, he doesn’t earn a lot so doesn’t pay a lot.

I’m kind of between a rock & a hard place. I don’t want to involve expensive solicitors (as I can’t afford one), but looking at the CSA calculator, I’d be better off paying that amount than just rolling over to the current “suggestion” from the ex 🙁

there alway’s used to be an online calculator for the amount they’d expect you to pay

There is a calculator on the CSA site that will give you an idea how much you can expect to pay.

My ex and I were (fairly) amicable so used this when we separated to decide on a maintenance amount.

I’d implore you to come up with your own solution between yourselves, just to keep the CSA out of it.

I think if she is going to claim benifits of any sort they imediately inform the CSA. Well that’s what happened to me.

Do the CSA deal with spousal maintenance as well? The figure for the child maintenance from their calculator is quite low considering there’s a mortgage and a house to run for her.

NO, they just take money for the child mate.

I think if she is going to claim benifits of any sort they imediately inform the CSA. Well that’s what happened to me.

Nope “lone parent” here and no ones ever asked me about my ex and maintenance.

Who says your ex (appart from convention) has to have sole custody of the kids?

Have you looked in to having them with you? Is it even feasible?

I have experience with the CSA – They are evil bastards.

And that’s coming from me who actually won and received compensation from them. 😉

The figure for the child maintenance from their calculator is quite low considering there’s a mortgage and a house to run for her

aye thankfully th enon resident parents housing coists are nothing

Your right the house is for her to run the money is for the kids

Circas 15% if your bet income is my guess depending on access

I pay CSA rate but not via CSA as arse and elbow and piss up in a brewery spring to mind

patriotpro is bang on! Why not propose that you have them half the week yourself, rather than the ‘traditional’ (why?!!!) role where you hand over most of your income for her to not work.

My kids are the same age as yours, and I’ve changed my working hours so I can do the school runs, etc, so I don’t just see them at weekends. They’re both in school, so why do they need a stay at home mum?

Does anyone have any recent experience? Are they still a bunch of plague-ridden demons to be avoided at all costs?

Yep, hit the nail on the head. Whatever you do, don’t get the CSA involved if at all possible, even if it means paying more through a private arrangement. The CSA don’t care about you, your ex or your kids – they are just a shambolic, unfit for purpose government agency designed to claw back as much money as possible into the treasury whilst at the same time shafting all and sundry in the process, all disguised under a thinly veiled lie – ‘we’re doing it for the kids’.

Perhaps do the CSA calculator thingy and offer to pay your ex a bit more that the calculator shows in the hopes of keeping them off your back. I had almost 10 years dealing with the CSA before finally coming to a private maintainence arrangement with my ex. So glad to finally get shot of the money grabbing b***ards.

Good luck 🙂

The CSA closed down last year, its now under the DWP to sort things out, a lady i knew worked there as a a manager, she said they used to get lots of threats and abuse, so be nice to them.

http://www.dwp.gov.uk/about-dwp/customer-delivery/child-maintenance/

my lasses are 29 and 27 now, and im still paying £20 per month back pay til 2029 or something :-/
didnt think it fair at the time, so kept appealing. by the time it was sorted they said i owed em £6000 or something like that. i was on the verge of packing in my job and being a doley rather than pay that, but came to my senses and agreed to pay an affordable amount, PLUS the £20p/m back pay. obviously the standard payments stopped when they left school all those years ago, but im still paying the back pay.
every now and then i think of appealing against it but figure they may come up with something daft again instead, so i just let it ride :-/

my ex gets a payment from me. the CSA(as it was then) and benefits people know and factor this into any benefit payment.

Not been too bad to be honest. the scaremongering/worrying was worse than the actual end result.

but then we didnt have a house etc.

i’d go see a family solicitor. for £100 you’ll know exactly where you stand legally for any demand the spouse makes rather than half correct replies here. i did on a seperate issue with the said ex and it was very helpful.

make sure any agreement is written out and signed. keep records of any payments to other half, records of time kids stay with you. the usual stuff.

I was forced down the CSA route when it first started up – years ago !!

Dunno how it works now but i was paying £65 per week and my daughter/ex received just £50 of that …

Utter shambles !!

I reckon if youre future ex claims benefits of any sort you can expect a loud thud on the doormat. Dont ignore it as they`ll charge arrears + interest .

The CSA closed down last year

Wow I didn’t realise! That’s made my day. Good riddence I say and may the fleas of 1000 camels infest the crotches of anyone who worked for them.

Regardless, whatever government agency has taken up the reigns now though then private arrangements are the way forward. Whatever your feelings right now, it’s better for everyone involved in the long term.

wasn’t it based on 15% for 1 child, 20% for two, that’s what my mates paper work said years ago, could well have changed now

Mrs Logical gets £70 a week when her ex decides to pay it. CSA won’t do anything about it.

ex is expecting to pretty much keep everything and also get a huge chunk of my income.

why is this? it doesn’t matter why you’e split up, who’s to blame is irrelevant, what’s important is THE KIDS. they have a right under law to have proper and meaningful contact with both parents, irrespective of how much maintenance you pay. my advice to you would be stop all drink, and any drugs. if she gets a solicitor in you may be drug and alcohol tested. don’t get a solicitor yourself, you can do everything yourself much faster, keep records of everything, all emails etc, most of all keep yourself well and happy, and be prepared for a long game. i’m on my 3rd year of access battles (ends on march 23rd) email if you need advice etc GOOD LUCK

If your wife goes to the CSA then any money paid by you will be in place of any benefits she claims, They don’t get both csa and benefits.This is a common assumption by people who try to claim through the CSA. If you earn less than £1000 pm then it is unlikly you will pay anything as it is all different now . The Dwp as it is now known have to take into account your living expenses such as rent, council tax, utility bills. (Human rights bill) . If the house is signed over to your ex then it’s down to her/him to pay mortgage, they can’t claim for that unless it’s awarded by the courts. My advice would be strike first. Contact the DWP and let them know your situation ,get the forms sent out and filled in. As i have said it’s not all doom and gloom now adays. If you want a bit more info PM me and i will give you a few pointers.

wasn’t it based on 15% for 1 child, 20% for two, that’s what my mates paper work said years ago, could well have changed now

Before then it used to be based on a complicated system that no one person could fully understand whereby they seemed to take your salary, deduct your mortgage payments or rent and then pretty much half of the remainder went to the CSA. Seriously it was that bad.

At the time I started paying maintainence I earnt £960 a month after tax. My rent in a shared house was £290/month. Bills around £100. Food around £150. To run a basic small car (to travel to see my daughter and to get to work) cost around £300 per month. Yet the CSA still wanted £280 per month? So all in all, without going out, without buying clothes and without having a life I was down to the tune of £160 every month, and continued to get more and more into debt each and every month until I managed eventually to get a better paid job.

I tried the appeals process but with no success. Rules are rules eh?

Thanks for all the input people. @spchantler, I didn’t mean to suggest there’d be a problem with my access to the children…we’re ok on that I think. It’s really the house & material stuff that she wants to keep because she doesn’t work and so has no income to provide for the children. Simply paying her the recommended child maintenance amount wouldn’t come close to the cost of running the house the children are living in, and if I’m putting them first then I think I need to ensure the costs are covered (until the ex gets a job I suppose).

I didn’t know the CSA had gone/changed. Sounds like there’s more of an emphasis on “family agreements”, which I suppose makes sense. The more I research, the more complex this whole thing seems to be though. Anyone know a good (umm, and cheap!) family lawyer in the Eastbourne area? 🙂

i’d go see a family solicitor. for £100 you’ll know exactly where you stand legally for any demand the spouse makes rather than half correct replies here. i did on a seperate issue with the said ex and it was very helpful.

😆

If she doesn’t have the means to look after the children, then perhaps you should ❓

Seriously, these days lots of employers are much more enlightened wrt fathers being the main carer. If your kids are at school, what are the options of reduced hours and/or some work from home?

The fact your ex can no longer afford the lifestyle she had with you is not your problem. Although I don’t know her (or you), I suspect if you bankroll her living ‘for the kids’ whilst barely seeing them, she may take an extraordinarily long time to find gainful employment.

Do not, I repeat, do not go to a lawyer.

Go the the CAB first. Make sure all communications to the Csa/dwp are done in writing and give them deadlines to respond.

The very first time they fail to respond to you, give them ten days, go straight to your local MP, explain the situation and they will take over all communications on your behalf.

I repeat, do not go to a lawyer.

I repeat:

DO NOT GO TO A LAWYER!

Shortly, my head will explode 😯

Can’t you have the house and the kids? Don’t know what your employer is like but lots are reasonable when it comes to childcare (I also know some aren’t).

CSA didn’t close down. It was just put back under the DWP. It was actually heading down the commission route like HSE before that. You pay 15% for 1 child. 20% for two and 25% for three or more. Roughly take your wage plus annual bonuses if regular minus tax Ni etc. Divide into weekly amount and apply %. Now if you have child children overnight equal to one night a week over the year take one seventh off. Two sevenths for two nights etc. so if you have your kids every other weekend for Friday and Saturday that would work out as equal to one night a week over the year so take seventh off. Best option in the long term is for you to supply your wages and allow her to work it out also on the on line calculator as you will both be charged for weekly/monthly collections from sometime in 2014 for them collecting it if you don’t organise payment yourselves. And if you do organise it yourselves do it through the bank so there is proof of payment if she were to dispute it. All parents with the children are treated the same so she would not have to give details of wether she was on benefit to them. And visa versa when claiming dole. They would actively encourage you to sort it out between yourselves to try and keep a dialogue between you for the sake of the children.

OP you seem to have decided to let her have the house and are now worried about how she will fund it. My advice would be to state that it should be sold and any equity divided equally. She would then have to buy somewhere smaller or rent.

I know that you want to keep a roof over your kids heads and probably do not want them to be disrupted by moving but I think you are being taken for a mug. You need to make sure you have somewhere decent to live that will be suitable for them to stay at weekends.

If your ex finds this unpalatable then so be it.

Lawyers also not a good idea. Two friends split up a couple of years ago (no kids) and spent £25k between them on lawyers. This was mainly due to the female wanting a 70/30 split in her favour – she did not get it – it was pretty much 50/50 in the end.

If your children are 8 and 5 then it would make sense (if you can deal with it) to not move out until your ex has secured a job. As stated above, it’s important that your kids would be able to stay with you too, so you have to ensure this is financially possible.

If she has kids the 50/50 won’t happen. You need some of the assets back to start your life as well. But she will probably get more as she has kids. But you need your share to start again and afford somewhere to have the kids stay over. If you are intent on leaving the house for her you can also freeze your share of the asset in the house until they have grown up. She would be responsible for the house until then and get the greater share at that point. Hope this helps.

If your wife goes to the CSA then any money paid by you will be in place of any benefits she claims, They don’t get both csa and benefits.This is a common assumption by people who try to claim through the CSA. If you earn less than £1000 pm then it is unlikly you will pay anything as it is all different now . The Dwp as it is now known have to take into account your living expenses such as rent, council tax, utility bills. (Human rights bill) . If the house is signed over to your ex then it’s down to her/him to pay mortgage, they can’t claim for that unless it’s awarded by the courts. My advice would be strike first. Contact the DWP and let them know your situation ,get the forms sent out and filled in. As i have said it’s not all doom and gloom now adays. If you want a bit more info PM me and i will give you a few pointers.

If your ex is on benefits she will still be allowed to claim them and keep all the child support, new rules came in 2010, it is no longer classed as an income.

Also the CSA, won’t let you fill out the forms in advance, the claim has to be initiated by the parent with care.

Lawyers also not a good idea. Two friends split up a couple of years ago (no kids) and spent £25k between them on lawyers. This was mainly due to the female wanting a 70/30 split in her favour – she did not get it – it was pretty much 50/50 in the end.

I realize I’m not objective in this but – sorry – the high cost there sounds like it was because one party was unreasonable, not because they got lawyers involved. Or at least not only.

A claim can be instigated by the non resident parent. It does not have to be the parent with care. Also the assessment is based on income. You can apply for a variation which is a reduction if you are paying mortgage or home improvement loan on property the ex and children live in but you have no legal or equity interest in. They will not take into account a second mortgage on the house you live in only theirs.