So, my girlfriend left me « Singletrack Forum

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So, my girlfriend left me

60 posts & 48 voices | Started 1 year ago by pinches | Latest reply from CaptainFlashheart

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pinches - Member

Came home thursday night and she ended it all. Packed her bag, went to her mums until i left the following morning and went up to my parents (some 250 miles away).

not really sure what to do with myself - bikes and everything apart from my clothes are still in "our" house until i can find somewhere else to live in london and then i'll have to go back and get the rest of my things.

Finding it quite hard not to keep going over the fact my world just collapsed from under me, and that i've not only lost my girlfriend but my best mate at that. Heartbroken to be honest...

Posted 1 year ago #
thebikechain - Member

Sorry fella. (Presuming fella so apologies if not!)

Do you know why you have split?

Posted 1 year ago #
trailertrash - Member

I'm very sorry to hear that mate.

Would you like to talk a bit more about the circumstances or just have a manhug?

Posted 1 year ago #
trailertrash - Member

edinburgh relationship support out in force

Posted 1 year ago #
mikey3 - Member

It will get better,not much use at the moment i guess but it will.

Posted 1 year ago #
flip - Member

Sorry to hear that, it will get better.

Try to see the positives in any situation, always helps me

Chin up fella.

Posted 1 year ago #
hungry monkey - Member

mine ended our relationship at new year. it is/was shit, but things are getting better.

it will get better, i promise.

Posted 1 year ago #
lowey - Member

Sorry to hear that mate. Its heartbreaking when you dont see it coming. But (and its an old cliche) but time is a great healer. It will get easier and better.

Posted 1 year ago #
pinches - Member

potentially lots of things as causes - money, living situation, me commuting and working long hours, lots of things taking their toll on the pair of us but we had always managed to sort it out in the past, where as this time their was no reasoning with her about changing the situation, no warning, effectively stopped working with me on the relationship and left me in our house climbing up the walls. There are elements i can understand from her perspective, but all these issues would be quite easily solved in the next 18 months when I finish my MA.

Really appreciate just being able to talk to people and keep my mind off the worst of it really (manhug optional)

Posted 1 year ago #
Wozza - Member

Been there mate, sorry to hear it. Things do get better I promise.

The advice I'd give is keep yourself busy with old or new friends and you'll be happy again.

Posted 1 year ago #
lookmanohands - Member

"Manhug", chin up, all the best fella.

Posted 1 year ago #
philconsequence - Member

*hug*

Posted 1 year ago #
derp - Member

That cat does not seem to be a willing volunteer to that hug.

Posted 1 year ago #
scottyjohn - Member

By the sounds of the MA studies, you have a good life ahead and have had to struggle to get there. You will move on and be a happier person for this. Old cliche, but what doesnt kill you makes you stronger!

You will meet someone more in tune with your world and look back at how much better things got after this.

Posted 1 year ago #
Mr_Mojo - Member

Girlfriend leaves you but you have to move out? Sorry to hear.

Posted 1 year ago #
pinches - Member

thanks guys.

Hopefully going to crash at a friends house while his parents are away for a couple of weeks, while trying to find somewhere more central to live.

Hoping it will be better once i get into a more stable routine

Posted 1 year ago #
DickBarton - Member

Why are you moving out??? If her parents are closer then get her to go...

Posted 1 year ago #
Non Stop Nun - Member

She left you so why did you have to move out ?

Posted 1 year ago #
pinches - Member

well, the house we live in belongs to her grandad, and i can't afford to pay the rent there and commute, so it doesn't really leave me much option.

I couldn't bring myself to stop in that house anyway, going back to get the rest of my things is going to be hard enough as it is.

Posted 1 year ago #
The Southern Yeti - Member

Kind words, positive vibes, hugs.

Posted 1 year ago #
billyboy - Member

A lady I was (stupidly) fond of dumped me on my birthday a couple of years back.

Find a version of a song called "Station Blues/Sittin on Top of the World"... there's a good one on a CD titled "Shake Hands with Shorty" by the North Mississippi Allstars ..........and play it loudly

And now she's gone
And I don't worry
'cos I'm
SITTING ON TOP OF THE WORLD

One door closes..... but there's now time for a whole load of bridleway gates to open.

Posted 1 year ago #
CaptJon - Member

1. If she's insisting you move out stop paying any rent right now.

2. Have a beer.

3. Focus on the MA and get yourself a distinction.

4. Have a lolcat

Posted 1 year ago #
loddrik - Member

Not much consolation but at least you don't have kids to massively complicate the issue. You can make a clean break and everything gets easier with time.

Posted 1 year ago #
Buzzlightyear - Member

Sorry matey, try to think positive, think of it as a fresh start, a new life etc, try to get excited about the new things to come. Sometimes change is good!

Posted 1 year ago #
eviljoe - Member

Sorry to hear that chap:(

Get out and ride.

Seriously- get soaking wet and windblown, push yourself harder than ever up the hills, forget the brakes on your favourite downhills- go night riding and howl at the moon- there's nothing like a bit of forward motion and physical exertion to help you move on.

Oh and girls will love the crazy look in your eyes

or something..

Posted 1 year ago #
Hairychested - Member

Get off the forum, do what you'd advise others to and make sure you have a roof over your head. We'll still be here after you've done all that.
Good luck, it'll get better. You WILL be fine.

Posted 1 year ago #
spacemonkey - Member

Remember, it will get better. My last split was in Nov 05 - got "evicted" and had nowhere to go having sold my house the previous year. Ended up crashing at various mates' houses for 4 months; just me, my dog Bert and a car full of stuff. Ended up being a pretty interesting adventure all in all.

Having had one particularly bad late night experience of having to leave an alcoholic so-called mate's place in the middle of the night, I'd say plan ahead and see who'll to put you up. Sleeping in one's car in winter is not fun.

But once you're back in the swing of things and getting out and about keeping your mind occupied, then you'll soon be sorted.

Chin up.

Posted 1 year ago #
pinches - Member

Well thanks for all the advice. I am well in the process of finding another place to live near university - but the accommodation office doesn't open again until tomorrow.

I've found a room available in a couple of weeks time at the royal college of music, which i am hoping to rent for about 6 months before planning to move in with one of my course mates hopefully. I know it's effectively halls of residence, but it's the cheapest way to not be miles out of town and get stuck into a tenancy (that i can find at the moment anyway).

Posted 1 year ago #
BigJohn - Member

If you're studying at the RCM, you could try writing a blues.

You seem to have completed the first line already (judging by the title of the thread).

Posted 1 year ago #
pinches - Member

Nah, i actually am at the royal college of art, it's just they do share an amount of accommodation as the RCA doesn't have it's own. I study innovation design engineering - designing products and cars and services.

Posted 1 year ago #
emma82 - Member

(((((hugs)))))

Posted 1 year ago #
Kevevs - Member

shit happens. Go with the flow. You'll feel better sometime or other or never. make some good mates and have some fun...

what did you do?

Posted 1 year ago #
project - Member

Man hug here,sadly youll never understand womens timing.

Best wishes for the future .

Posted 1 year ago #
takisawa2 - Member

Chin up mate. About all that can be said really, time heals etc, but wont mean a lot to you for a while. Youll come through. You sound a sound enough chap.
I'd be planning a nice long road trip for your summer break. Stash some cash away now & hit the road for a month of hassle free biking around the country, further if funds permit.

Posted 1 year ago #
emsz - Member

Hugs and all that. Seems like loads of this happening ATM, couple of my friends, housemate. Time of year or something?

Posted 1 year ago #