Now I know the world is full of lots of bad things that deserve the full force of all our contempt. There's terrible things going on like terrorism, facism, war and famine.
But what really gets my goat, is blokes with a full head of hair. Look at 'em, the smug gets! Ooh, what should I do with my hair today? Should I get it cut short or create a whole new style? Should I let it grow really long or keep it night and tight? And they boast about it too. Not openly, that would be crass. No they keep it under the radar but I'm on to them and they know who they are. Old blokes who have a full head of white hair. No dye for this chap (who pretends it's because he's not vain), he just makes sure it's long and thick and stands out like a dayglo lighthouse on his head.
People treat you differently when you're losing your hair you know. Male pattern baldness is something you have no control over but people still treat you differently depending on where you're losing it, and that's like racism! If you lose it on the back of your head then people think you're like a monk and are harmless. If you lose it at the front it can make you look right hard but only if you keep the side short. And there there are those unfortunates who lose it in patches and HAVE to get it all shaved off to stop children laughing at them. And then they look like Duncan Goodhue or Gail Porter.
Baldies unite! Surge up against the follically over endowed! They are the minority and they must be doing something weird to stop their hair falling so stand against them and drive their floppy tops from our country NOW!!