Yesterday I had a bit of a dodgy curry. Felt a bit iffy this morning but the cycle to work perked me up so here I am at work…

I have dropped a couple of small and subtle bum burps and no-one seems to have noticed it was me…

However they are now lifting the suspended flooring to see it a rat / cat / animal has died down there as there have been a few complaints and last time it smelt this bad there was dead things under the floor.

Should I:
1 Come clean and say it was me?
2 Quietly sit here and feel proud?
3 Seek medical advice?

Currently I am doing 2…

2a) wander over to see what all the fuss is about, and let off a couple more SBDs 😈

2a – nice one woody

I would be doing 2, but also giving the game away by grinning lots.

😆
Keep it up and add comments like, god thats so bad! there must be a serious problem somewhere etc etc,

Confessing just wastes so much potential mileage

guy i knew started a new job years ago and was bored, so kept borrowing tools from the grumpy old men he worked with, then returning them to the wrong people (all when they wer not around).he then sat back and enjoyed the fireworks as the accusations and threats were dished out to various "thieves"as they were discovered :-)!

I would be doing 2, but also giving the game away by grinning lots.

Thing is people here think I am weird because I smile a lot at work anyway. Everyone here is pretty grumpy (even when I am not farting) so generally with the cycling, not eating gregs everyday and generally smiling and going outside they all think I am some sort of freak. (I work in IT.)

I am worried about dropping more in case I get caught. I think my company has to pay the maintenance company on a pay per incident basis… My farting may have cost at least £50 today 😉

Farts are like children.

Your own are to be treasured and are a work of great beauty.

Those of other people are vile.

They are now checking the toilet pipes.

This might actually be my best ever day at work!

Big applause!
Sit back and bask in the knowledge that you have just disrupted a whole day at work and got away with it!
Unless your colleagues frequent this site too….

they are now lifting the suspended flooring to see it a rat / cat / animal has died

nice one!

My friend made himself sick after smelling one of his own arse bombs!!

Not human but my girlfriends dog, a Lab can clear the house with it's farts they are that bad! I've told her it's what she feeds it but seriously every night near 10 you have to open the doors and windows!!!! The bloody dog just lies there and doesn't even flinch

Only issue would be if you followed through!

yeah…… follow through…… be sure there isn't a round in the chamber when you drop the hammer!! Post curry russian roulette is a dangerous game!

any chance you could time it to drop one in the ladies?

a bit OT but my Italian colleague managed to block the sewage system on an entire floor in our office with his 'contribution'…..
Too much pasta in his diet if you ask me 🙂

a bit OT but my Italian colleague managed to block the sewage system on an entire floor in our office with his 'contribution'…..

Thats pretty impressive!

any chance you could time it to drop one in the ladies?

Probably not – with a staff of around 150 slightly deranged IT guys and 6 hot HR girls (and one HR guy – seems a waste of a job role to me – are they not legally required to hire hot girls as HR people?) they are pretty firm around guys not sneaking into the girls toilets!

I once blocked the drains at an old work. Dyno bloke came in. Repair bill etc. He joked that someone must curl them out big. Anyway- found a video tape on my desk (of his pipe probing work). Buggers knew it was me all along! 8)

Currently I am doing 2…

No wonder they are wondering what the smell is if you are doing a Number Two at your desk….

We've got a phantom crapper at our place who is capable of disabling one of the traps by the shear size of his deposits. It is like Cluedo trying to work out who he is.

We've also got an "air burster", but we think that it is a different guy.

Farts are like nuclear bombs, most people dont want to have them yet they're innevitable and you'd rather be the person with them than receiving them. They're grim and unpleasant from any normal persons perspective, yet some people revel in their glory like they're something to be proud of.

wait 'til they've given up looking and drop a few more.

or find an old camera tub and drop one in there, get the lid on quick. You can store up an arsenal (ARSEnal hahaha) to deploy over coming months.

However they are now lifting the suspended flooring to see it a rat / cat / animal has died down there as there have been a few complaints and last time it smelt this bad there was dead things under the floor.

Chapeau, sir!

We got a guy who came out with a classic "ME N MY BROTHER SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOCK A SEPTIC TANK " this was after producing one big mother f–ckr of a richard the third that refused to flush.!! ❗

it's natural. it won't do any harm

I once cleared a (small-ish) dance floor at a bar/live venue in Harrow, but got away with it as I was one of the first off the dance floor complaining that 'someone has dropped a rotten air-biscuit' etc. and generally wafting my arms around.
My mates all stood at the edge laughing their heads off & pointing in my general direction as they knew the truth. It put the band off their stride a bit, as they probably couldn't work out what was going on at first. I'm pretty sure it must have reached them in the end though.

I regularly drop silent but deadlies into our weekly group rides to keep everyone on their toes. Especially if I feel we have stopped in one place for too long. Soon gets everyone moving!!

haha – exactly the same thing happened to me at work 10 years ago after a hefty session on Youngs biotter (crap stuff. Another reason to avoid it: marshgasarse)

pulling up floor panels and dismantling cable runs looking for dead animals. I had to sneak out of the building and disappear for a while to avoid getting rumbled by my red face. Strolled around the square, smuggling stinky ducks for an hour or so 🙂

reminds me of a mates dog that farted itself awake when it got a noseful of its own airbomb.

Eldest son has been able to pass stools that defied belief, they must have been at least half his bodyweight when he was tiny.

Surpassed himself in a Sand Dollar motel in Monterray – blocked our toilet so it flooded the bathroom, then when the poor sod on reception had shifted it from there it blocked the system for the wing of rooms around us.

We were pointed at a lot in reception the next morning.

Used to go out with a girl that woke herself up when she farted – not the smell just the noise. We learnt not to do that 69 thing after she'd had a curry.

thread of the day….lol