… and the person opposite you was kicking you in the shin. You politely told them what they were doing and asked them to stop, but they kept doing it. It's a busy train, so nowhere to move to, and you've got a sprained ankle – how would you respond?

My response worked wonders. 😉

😆

Did you "dust" them ?

smash their face into the table?

pin 'em to the wall & snog the shit out of 'em ?

Did you turn the other cheek, er, ankle?

Were you carrying a pair of forks made by a well known Italian manufacturer?

kill them, then make love to the corpse?

shout OW YOU'RE HURTING MY SPRAINED ANKLE really loudly. a hundred times

Punch his fyck'n lights out

I would have thought you'd say something like "don't you know who I am?"

Did you raise your eyebrows in a disapproving manner (the English equivalent of a thermonuclear strike)?

Its the return of the trolling zoofighter!

Wee on them? May be a poo on their lap might be more in order???

I would have taken him to 'visit the penguins at feeding time' ……….. [know what I mean]

I took 5 kicks to the shin then I had enough at that. It was a reflex action – honest. 😉

cry like a baby?

He was only trying to initiate a bit of train cottaging. Did he have an empty carrier bag ready and waiting?
Your response should have been a wink and a stroll to the nearest toilet.

I took 5 kicks to the shin

what happened to 3 strikes and you're out. Very restrained!

I can't take the suspense any more…

Tell us you did. Pleeeeeeease, tell us you did…

whippersnapper – my new, less stressed self is very tolerant and even diplomatic when the need arises. This **** just went a little too far though.

Did you follow him to the toilet and make man love. it could have been a gay advances

"Do you know who I am?"
"No!"
then nut them (knowing you're untraceable)

Goan – Member

I took 5 kicks to the shin then I had enough at that. It was a reflex action – honest.

kick in the balls then i suspect

What hes not telling us is the kid was only 5

Yes I did it. They were about 40 and business man type. Think they were a bit shocked. They may have limped off the train too. 😉

Goan – Member

I took 5 kicks to the shin then I had enough at that. It was a reflex action – honest.

you spuffed your pram fat up his leg? you dirty bastid!

It would have been three kicks with me, but I'm not very tolerant of that sort of ignorance. I remember at school, someone sticking his leg out to try to trip me as I walked back to my desk. I stepped over the leg, but the teacher saw it happen, and told me that stomping hard on the shin or ankle was much more effective. The rather shocked perp never tried it again. Probably wouldn't happen these days; it would infringe his right to make my life a misery without sanctions.

Was this the train?

Good man.

To be fair I would have given him a boot and probably without warning.

If I had been bothered to ask him to stop I would have given him a warning and then really kicked him hard.

"Do you know who I am?"

possible replies;

"Ask nurse, she'll tell you"

"We've got one here can't remember who he is Sergeant"

"Perhaps there's a piece of paper in your wallet with it written on?"

depending on circumstances.

I'd have just said in a very loud voice to the person next to me;

"This man keeps kicking me and I have a bad ankle. Woudl you mind dreadfully swapping places, perhaps he'd be less inclined to kick you?"

I've been on trains with small children, though, you lose your sense of embarassment quiet quickly fending off endless questions/statements about your fellow travellers "That man's got a wig on hasn't he Daddy?"

goan wears a wig ?

nowt wrong with kicking a "wiggy" surely ?

nowt wrong with kicking a "wiggy" surely ?

a wigger surely?

you said "play along so i can post the same old rubbish on STW"?

TINAS – no, that'd be an offensive term, even wiggy is borderline – heterotrichous is the safest bet really, or just person of mixed hair

just person of mixed hair

😆 new keyboard please!

“person of mixed hair" Genius! Good thing I didn't have a mouthful of tea at that point, or I'd have been spending the next half hour drying my phone off. I'll be looking for opportunities to use that, thank you. 😆
[edit] Just had a thought, perhaps it should be run past SfB, as Forum arbiter of all that is acceptable and in good taste, to see if such an expression is going to offend anyone.[/edit]