Ridiculous Tabloid Headlines

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  • Ridiculous Tabloid Headlines
  • rossi46
    Member

    There are quite a few, daily even, but what’s your favourite ridiculous tabloid headline?

    This one takes quite some beating from the Daily Star (need I say more).

    It’s actually very tasteless considering the tragedy unfolding in the Phillipeanes.

    I have a feeling we can quote tabloids day by day actually, because there’s always one trying to outdo another in terms of stupidity!

    crikey
    Member

    “Suicidal twin kills brother by mistake”

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    During the Monica Lewinski affair my local paper ran the headline “Clinton Accused of Shirtlifting” – a story about a Mr Bill Clinton of Pollokshields being tried for stealing two shirts and a jacket from a charity shop.

    Premier Icon slowoldgit
    Subscriber

    One from WW2…

    ‘MacArthur flies back to front’

    tymbian
    Member

    Freddie Star ate my hamster!

    Premier Icon alexpalacefan
    Subscriber

    Super Cali go ballistic,
    Celtic are atrocious.

    MrNice
    Member

    that last one’s not ridiculous, it’s genius. I imagine the sub who thought it up immediately leaving his desk to go to the pub for the day: “my work here is done”…

    Premier Icon dannybgoode
    Subscriber

    Best one I saw which pretty much sums up the publication in question:

    Packs Of Feral Youths Roam Britains Streets

    So much hate, fear and loathing in just a few words.

    pymwymis
    Member

    2 from the early days of the Sunday Sport:

    Woman gives birth to 7lb trout.

    Hitler’s bus found on moon..

    Both are works of unfettered genius, incredibly, with substantiating photos on the front page.

    Premier Icon dannybgoode
    Subscriber

    ^ reminds me of when I was in Merka – a paper like the Inquirer but not had ‘Heaven Photographed by Hubble Space Telescope’ complete with photo of ‘The Universe’, a circle drawn round it with the caption ‘Edge of Universe’ then some smudgy clouds + sun thing going on labelled ‘Heaven’

    Will have to try and dig it out…

    rob81
    Member

    Unfortunately an urban myth but the often quoted Eastern Daily Press headline “Norfolk Man Dies At Sea” the day after the titanic sunk.

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    McQueen Found Hanged In Wardrobe
    Can Dec Anally Match Ant
    Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix

    sweepy
    Member

    I saw ‘Maddie snatcher killed by tractor’ the other day.

    soops
    Member

    Not a tabloid but the north Devon journal had a headline of

    Man tried to set fire to a packet of peanuts and make love to an ambulance.

    rossi46
    Member

    Super Cali go ballistic,
    Celtic are atrocious.

    😆

    Premier Icon surroundedbyhills
    Subscriber

    alexpalacefan – Member

    Super Cali go ballistic,
    Celtic are atrocious.

    Super Caley – from a pedantic Celtic Fan trying to claim something back…

    pacerc200
    Member

    Still go a copy of the rag that printed it in the loft and from memory it was
    Supercallywentbalisticceltswerequiteatrocious.

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    No that’s not the right thread

    thebrowndog
    Member

    “Headless body in topless bar” Published in the New York Post in 1983 to head a story about a headless corpse found in a strip club. Sheer. Genius.

    gordimhor
    Member

    GOTCHA ….
    Which turned out to be one Kelvin Mackenzie’s lowest moments

    Premier Icon maccruiskeen
    Subscriber

    Which turned out to be one Kelvin Mackenzie’s lowest moments

    A zero on the Kelvin scale! Thats like trying to describe the fundamental particles evil.

    Journalists eh, love them or loath them you’d be mad not to bury them upright, condemning their souls to be restless for all eternity.

    Premier Icon Northwind
    Subscriber

    While we’re on the subject, “The Truth”

    gordimhor
    Member

    We could have a whole separate thread about Kelvin Mackenzie and The Sun and the various lies they printed but I couldn’t stomach it at this time of the morning.

    Premier Icon DirtyLyle
    Subscriber

    Not a tabloid per se, but The Argus often has very funny headlines. They had one this year that was “BEARDED WOMAN ATTACKED AT CRUCIFIXION”.

    Premier Icon zippykona
    Subscriber

    Man falls 10000ft from aeroplane…
    and dies.
    Think that was the national enquirer.

    deadlydarcy
    Member

    I’m sure The Sun, bemoaning educational standards after another survey showing the UK’s children were falling down the European league table, ran a headline “We’re thicker than the Irish!” 😆

    gordimhor
    Member

    ‘Who’s a silly Berti’ when Berti Vogts was about to lose his job as Scotland manager.

    Premier Icon ddmonkey
    Subscriber

    “Devil Drug Monkey!” From the Sun… 🙂

    minichops
    Member

    Couple of classics from the Sport:
    ‘Shoots You’ when Gianni Versace was, erm ,shot.
    ‘I’ve Been Stabbed I say, I’ve Been Stabbed!’ when the actor who played Fred Elliot in Corrie was assaulted..
    And there’s always ‘World Hide and Seek Champ Found Dead in Cupboard’

    Local rag –
    Berserk Kirkcaldy Man Kills Budgie

    andrewh
    Member

    Not a tabloid one but I love the one about when Michael Foot was appointed to chair an EC committee looking at nuclear disarmament.
    Foot Heads Arms Body

    rossi46
    Member

    Foot Heads Arms Body

    😆

    Mister P
    Member

    Mum’s Snatch Hell on the front page of The Chronicle, Monday Nov 11th.

    Puddle Splash Victim Vows Revenge, poster for the Mercury in Somerset.

    Woman In Sumo Wrestler Suit Assulted Her Ex-Girlfriend In Gay Pub After She Waved At Man Dressed As Snickers Bar. Not sure what paper this comes from.

    A mate of mine is a journo and his facebook is full of pictures of this kind of crap.

    Mister P
    Member

    Michael J Fox Shakes Off The Comedy Dust.

    chrisa87
    Member

    bruneep, that’s the thread winner for me!

    jekkyl
    Member

    From the sun in 2009, with a picture of two fat women’s legs:
    Fatties cause global warming

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