Hmmm….there’s the job I quit a while back where I was treated like crap despite often working a fifty hour week, simply because they couldn’t make a business case to hire me any help.
Here’s what I should have said.
Dear shower of bastards
I have been offered a similar position at another firm who’ve offered to pay me a reasonable sum of money in return for the time and effort I’m prepared to invest in the company. Since I do not trust you to remunerate me properly for the remainder of my notice period, I have changed the software passwords which I will give you upon receipt of the sum of money I am contractually owed. Moreover, I have left you a portfolio of happy clients whom I have nurtured over the course of my employment and I trust that my successor will look after them properly.
Also, the firm’s Partner should probably not go on record as to justify sacking a highly respected colleague on the grounds that “he looks a bit gay”. In retrospect, his attempt to drunkenly seduce a member of staff whilst married to the Senior Partner’s daughter and subsequent witch hunt to quash the resulting post xmas party gossip might have an adverse effect on staff morale.
So long and thanks for all the fish.
What I actually said was:
Dear *****
I am writing to inform you that I wish to tender my resignation with effect from *******. I have been offered a position in a firm which better suits my career aspirations.
I will of course ensure that my successor is adequately trained and that I will fulfil my remaining contractual obligations to the very best of my ability.
Yours sincerely etc