I made a chilli last night for 6 people. It involved a can of kidney beans, chick peas, and the majority of a packet of dried butter beans. This in itself is normal, but the effect on my interior is spilling into the exterior in vapourous form. It has been borderline painful withholding from colleagues, and I even went for a walk to ease the pressure, but it’s just increased again. The whole clove of garlic has not aided odour. What do I do? Subtly release the death bombs in a controlled fashion risking ‘the bugle’ effect?

loud and proud and never apologise
HTH

You don’t need your mummy to tell you that you need to go for a poo

loud and proud and never apologise
HTH

– 1.

Don’t subject your colleagues to the gaseous content of your bowel.

Are the other 5 people suffering similarly?

When you say whole clove, do you actually mean bulb? If so, when combined with chick peas I’m not surprised you are playing the anal flute.

Might advice would be to just relax and enjoy 🙂

this stuff produces expulsions of shimmering ferocity so savage that you may well be disciplined if you attend work

Record and post on You Tube?

Why waste it on unappreciating collegues when there’s a wider audience to think of?

Do you work in the same office as me?

Someone keeps releasing WMD in our third floor bog. I went in at 5:30 yesterday to change into my cycling kit and was greeted by what can only be described as a wall of cheesy guff so concentrated that I could taste it before I smelled it 🙁

The perpetrator of that one really isn’t well at all.

I thought this was going to be a thread about the quality of STW forum posts…

Champagne cork. Problem solved

You can’t beat a good eggy drifter.

No one mentions it as they’re desperate not to be seen as the cause.

Have some fun – but watch out for blowbacks – nature doesn’t give you protection!

I think you know the answer really. Go and enjoy yourself

Sorry, you’re correct sir, when I said clove I meant bulb.

I definitely don’t need a poo, although i’m worried that the gas could act as a propellant. Combined with a champagne cork and I suspect the effects would be devastating.

Part 2 will be this afternoon, whether part 1 has finished by then us another matter. I’ve brought leftovers in for lunch, may have been an error. Does holding it in count as core training?

drink a triple espresso
get yourself a good book to read
park on the porcelain
brace for impact

The champagne cork is a bad idea. I tried it once, it was fine all morning but mid-afternoon I shot the cat.

drink a triple espresso
get yourself a good book to read
park on the porcelain
brace for impact

Wear earplugs. It might echo in the pan and amplify.

Faling that, Picolax? 😯

Pants for farters

Here’s a link to Binners post. ENJOY

Turn up the volume, especially if you are in an open plan office.