Carole Nash’s breakdown cover is first class…
RAC are honking for bikes. When my starter relay went, I phoned them up, conversation started like this:
“hello, I’ve broken down, I need a recovery”
“What sort of car is it”
“It’s not, it’s a bike”
“Oh, I don’t think we do bikes”
“Eh, you do. In fact it’s a single vehicle policy, here’s the reg”
“Oh, I don’t know, I’ll need to check with the supervisor”
Then,
“OK, apparently we do bikes. What sort of bike is it?”
“It’s a Suzuki SV650”
“I can’t see that in our system, I’ll put down Suzuki Swift”
“That’s a car. I’m on a bike. Won’t that be a problem?”
“Well, I’ve got to put something down don’t I!”
Then went on to them not being able to find me on the map, and asking “what’s the postcode”. I’M UP A MOUNTAIN! The rocks do not have postcodes.” Gave them the road number, the town I’d ridden from, the town I was riding to. “Well, if you won’t give me the postcode we can hardly send someone over can we? Why don’t you just ask at the nearest house?” “Can’t see any, did I mention I’m up a mountain?”
Then, “What’s wrong with it”. “The main relay is broken so the electric’s cut out” “OK, I’ll put down flat battery” “No you won’t” “Don’t worry, they’ll give you a charge and it should be fine” “The battery isn’t flat, it’s the main relay, the whole electrical system is broken.” “OK, well, we’ll let the mechanic look at it and see what they say” “I BUILT THIS BIKE MYSELF! I KNOW WHAT’S ****ING WRONG WITH IT! I CAN SEE THE BROKEN PART SPARKING!”
So, then they sent a van with no bike carrying capacity, who drove past me twice because, surprise surprise, he was looking for a suzuki swift. Spent all of 2 minutes talking to him and he says “Well, if it’s an electrical failure, you need recovery! Why didn’t they send out a relay? I’ll call one but it’ll be a while.”
Never again, I tell you. Carole Nash, on the other hand, led to a conversation like this:
“I’ve got a puncture, I need a recovery”
“OK, where are you”
“I’m on the M9 by Grangemouth”
“Someone will be there soon with a trailer”
Somone was there soon, with a trailer. There are some minor differences between these 2 experiences, see if you can spot them?