Control crying is good but he constantly wakes up sounding like he has a serious smokers cough, constant temps, then the free-flowing ear. Yet another ENT appointment for next week.
Chat Forum
Rant: Lack of sleep (babies)
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Posted 5 months ago #
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By going in all the time the baby thinks something is wrong as their parent keeps checking on them. Your just winding up the baby instead of them learning to go back to sleep.
Babies dont have the congnitive development to be thinking like that. In fact they think 'where'd everybody go?' something must be wrong'.
Who knows what they're thinking? Surely that's the challenge with babies :)I think I would find it quite hard to get back to sleep if someone was picking me up and cuddling me. Sometimes our daughter is a bit unsettled in the evening, but within a minute I can usually tell if she can sort herself or if she needs something.
It's possible we've done the controlled crying thing by dint of having the stereo too loud to hear her
Never read Gina Ford or any other parenting book tbh. Much prefer just to have a positive attitude and follow instincts, then if something is seriously wrong do a bit more reading.
Posted 5 months ago # -
constantly wakes up sounding like he has a serious smokers cough, constant temps, then the free-flowing ear
It's one thing having a fit and well kid not sleeping, but if they're poorly it's a different scenario. Our eldest had bad coughs on and off as a baby and it took many doctors/hospital visits/tests before the problem was taken seriously. As new parents we just thought that babies got coughs and colds all the time. I remember his first birthday when he was sat in his high chair at the head of the table looking distinctly sorry for himself and coughing and spluttering all the time. The looks from our family said it all really. They knew he wasn't right, but we were still trying to convince ourselves it was normal. I had to take him out of the room and just give him the biggest cuddle.
That Christmas he was in hospital with pneumonia and then then a few months later - after many tests - was having chemo prior to his first (of two) bone marrow transplants. He's 5 now and has started school. He sleeps well, he's happy, he's well, but I still don't know if he'll ever manage to ride a bike due to the side-effects (poor muscle tone) of his condition.
Sorry hora, not sure why I wrote that. I don't mean to scare. I'm not even sure I have a point, but it sure was cathartic to type it out...
Posted 5 months ago # -
Nay worries, I'm just looking round for a dehumidifier for his room as theres a fair bit of moisture on the windows/upstairs anyway which must agreviate his chest.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Our Little Sausage is 9 months old now and is a bit variable when it comes to sleep. It got really bad around 6 months and after trying every softly-softly approach under the sun (and building up quite a library of sleep related books) we had to resort to controlled crying. We'd heard it only takes a few days but it was more like 2 weeks with LS - but it did at least work. It's still up and down and bugs/illness still cause disruption (and anti biotics have messed her up for the last week), but we know that a few days of controlled crying should be enough to get her back on track when she's well.
Your missus will probably cry as much as the baby when you start doing the controlled crying, but she'll also get over it
Posted 5 months ago # -
Control crying is good
Stop saying that, grrrr *skulksstorms off muttering indignantly*I think I would find it quite hard to get back to sleep if someone was picking me up and cuddling me.
Absolutely, its the other thing between either picking them up or ignoring their crying - comforting them sufficently and reducing the level of/need for comforting in a way that works for them without traumatising them enough that they cry.You people that leave your kids crying - bad parent, bad, bad parent, shame on you
Posted 5 months ago # -
why are they bad parents? thats a pretty emotive thing to say and accuse others of being?
pretty sure my parents left me to cry and i turned out ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
Posted 5 months ago # -
Calm down, calm down.
Its only because if I shout at my kids or anything I spend the next 24hr wracked with guilt
so I dont see why 'dem others shouln't feel the same pain as me 
Posted 5 months ago # -
I AM CALM!!!!
(not even a parent so i've no reason to be remotely offended or upset, apart from reading about the guys with poorly babies
my heart and best wishes go out to you!)
Posted 5 months ago # -
...plus I assumed after a lifetime of tight jeans, alcohol and age I'd take alongtime. It took a week. FFS.
<points> Ha Ha!
Same thing more or less happened with no. 3, we figured we weren't getting any younger, number 2 took around 6 months of most enjoyable effort - then bang, positive test inside 4 weeks - accounting for the general malaise she thought she'd eaten some dodgy houmous
Controlled crying ... I fail to see what's controlled about it. The 'be there but don't try to engage too much approach works for me, I can't leave them crying for more than a few minutes
Posted 5 months ago # -
apart from reading about the guys with poorly babies
Doh, thought it was Jam bo not a baby that had been in hospital (didn't know what NICU stands for)
Good vibes on their way to that man, hope all goes well.
Posted 5 months ago # -
but we know that a few days of controlled crying should be enough to get her back on track when she's well.
That is the kind of thing that puts me off the hardline controlled crying - it doesn't really seem like she's learnt to go to sleep if any time she is sick you have days of non-sleeping even once she is well again and have to do controlled crying again. Is it normal for babies who do controlled crying not to just go back to normal sleep straight away after an illness?
One thing that is good about not having done controlled crying is that now if she ever wakes up and cries at night, we can be confident that it means she needs something, and we can go to her (nightmare, temperature etc.). Crying is just her way of communicating that she needs something.
I think I'm probably lucky right now on this front, we had a waking baby until 9 months or so, but then sleeping really clicked and she was off for 12 hours or more a night. It possibly helps that she is a super-energetic running baby and really tires herself out in the day - We know a lot of parents and grandparents, she has a childminder with 20 years of experience and they're all agreed have never seen such an energetic child. It does make daytime quite tiring chasing after her though!
Joe
Posted 5 months ago # -
Hora, without sounding cliched it does get better.
My youngest (3) is pretty much sleeping 8pm til 6am now having woken almost hourly since birth and there's nothing wrong with saying you understand how fathers walk out on young families; at my most sleep deprived I twice invented business trips just to stay in a hotel over night and sleep.
Certainly where I live in Leeds there was an nocturnal underground pram club for fathers, loads of times I'd be walking my youngest around the neighbourhood at 3 in the morning and see a dark shadowy figure coming towards me and when they got close enough realise it was another member of pram club.
Posted 5 months ago # -
We really resisted using controlled crying for as long as possible but ultimately it improved things when no other method would (we really did try!) LS has a hole in the heart so we've also been really careful never to let her get too upset.
The reason being sick throws her out is that we're more inclined to pick her up when she's sick so she remembers that she can get cuddles if she shouts enough - it usually only takes a day or two to get back in the swing of things (touch wood
It's definitely not the same as just leaving them to cry - you go in at regular (and slowing increasing) intervals to reassure them. We'd rather not have to do it at all, but people who say it's barbaric etc are talking nonsense...
Posted 5 months ago # -
Shhh! The first rule of pram club....
there could be Mum's listening
Posted 5 months ago # -
Hora
I presume you have ruled it out, but is he hungry? Our 20 month old slept fine for a while and then was up at 6, then 5:30, then 5 then 4:30. We now keep her up an extra half hour at night and give her a bowl of cereal at 6:30pm and we have to wake her up in the morning.
And I my thoughts go out to all with poorly babies/children.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Now I'm worried! Three months to go here till I experience these delights. On the plus side I have had old man bladder for the past couple of years so have had some preparatory training.
Jambo, hoping all works out well.
Posted 5 months ago # -
mrblobby... In the words of a mate of mine who is a farther, hearing my wife was pregnant... "now your **** !!"
Posted 5 months ago # -
can't cope won't cope.. our little angel is 2 and a bit..
Mrs Yunki texted my best mate 7 months ago to say that I had been swallowed by a whale last seen heading for the Bering Strait..
I drink 45 cups of tea per day.. I conduct myself like a particularly retarded zombie in public and my favourite past-time is falling asleep on the floor/at the wheel/in the supermarket or a combination of all three..
we thought the best thing we could do would be to invest in another one quickly before I die of exhaustion.. yunki Jr MkII is due on valentines day..
Posted 5 months ago # -
The pram club
Mrblobby get out now, both of you even if you think 'nah can't be assed'. Get drunk (you), go to dinner at mates, riding weekend etc as you've no idea how it'll affect you guys when the baby comes.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Mrblobby get out now, both of you even if you think 'nah can't be assed'. Get drunk (you), go to dinner at mates, riding weekend etc as you've no idea how it'll affect you guys when the baby comes.
Nah, just makes it even worse when it happens. Better to start selling off all your bikes and start winding down your life in readiness. And repeat after me, DONT go near the business end.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Business end? A friend of mine, a very straightlaced teacher was on the maternity ward recovering when she heard the chavs in the next bed 'at it'. This is at Wythenshawe hospital Manchester....
Posted 5 months ago # -
Sleep deprivation, unless you have triplets with out of sync feeds or kids with sleeping disorders then you haven't even started yet!
After 3 years of my wife's MS causing an insane bladder I would love to have more than 2 hours sleep at a time. She's up 8+ times a night and needs help each time and then it takes 15 minutes plus. I sometimes find myself asleep at my desk!! ZZZZzzz
Posted 5 months ago # -
Hunger is almost always the problem in our house, FWIW.
Posted 5 months ago # -
This is at Wythenshawe hospital Manchester....
I am Jacks complete lack of suprise.
I do some work in Wythenshawe Hospital and my sister works at Lloyds HQ nearby and, apologies if any of the Wythie crew are reading, it is like Shamless x infinity
Posted 5 months ago # -
There is absolutely zero point in both of you being woken up all night every night - you need to look after yourself a bit and get some nights of reasonable sleep.
Wear earplugs, the foam sort that you squish & insert into your ear, and sleep in a different room either some nights, or for part of the night?
If that doesn't work, can you find a friend locally who will let you have the odd night in their spare room so you can catch up on sleep a bit? If your partner doesn't want to be left alone, can you find a friend/grandparent to stay over occasionally and help?
Posted 5 months ago # -
Jambo, hoping all works out well.
Things are starting to look up. The boys a fighter...
Posted 5 months ago # -
get out now ... riding
My wife came off her bike at Dalby while 12 weeks pregnant with elder son.
And at Les Gets while 10 weeks pregnant with our younger one. That was the point where I realised I really really wanted a second child. Les Gets medical centre were excellent by the way and both mother and child were fine with just a bit of rest.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Have you checked how bulky his pillow is?
I just wondered if your problems were down to too steep a head-angle?
Posted 5 months ago # -
FFS. How do seasoned-dads cope?
The same way as you are.
Posted 5 months ago # -
Which reminds me - daughter (now eight) woke up at 2 a.m. on Monday and threw up all over her bedroom floor, which is oiled wood (nice high splatter factor) and strewn with her belongings. She then stepped in the vomit before coming downstairs to our room to wake me up.
It doesn't end.
Posted 5 months ago # -
I too would recommend sleep training. We didn't begin at day one, but rather somewhere around two months in (still no help to the OP). I see we've already had the first ridiculous 'Gina Ford is evil' comment and expect a torrent of them to follow, but her routine has worked fantastically for us and for all of our friends who have used it.
Posted 5 months ago # -
another one for MTFU and drink more coffee
Posted 5 months ago # -
ave you checked how bulky his pillow is?
I just wondered if your problems were down to too steep a head-angle?
Sorted that, he's got anglepillowset
Posted 5 months ago # -
5 yr old wants to swap beds at 2am ish most nights. 20 month old wakes up at 4.30-5am most days (when not waking up a few times a night).
You just get used to being knackered all the time.
Puke all over the living room floor this morning for added fun too Posted 5 months ago #
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