As in, without you? To the local shops etc. And are they boys or girls? And do you think it makes a difference?

Daughter is 9 and the wife is dead against letting her out yet, especially as she is a girl. I was roaming the city at 9.

Boys together when the oldest was 7, youngest 5. Girl is 5 and wont be doing that any time soon.

Not a parent, but I remember being 9 when I had similar freedoms, back in 1987, nice part of Torquay. I was a very loved kiddie too, if that’s of any value in your OP.

They wouldn’t let me have a bike until I was 15 though 😀

I guess a lot of it depends on where you live. If I was close to major roads/railway tracks/rivers then that would have an influence (having said that I played on the railway tracks and river as a kid…).

I think my eldest was probably 7 ish, we live close to the local playing fields and we used to let him go around the field with his mates to play football.

I think there is far too much paranoia today (fed by the media) and that is depriving kids of the kind of childhood we had. I try to be as relaxed as possible with my two.

They regularly go out road riding on their own (12 & 14).

a boy and 11, with his mates , not alone .

2 girls eldest was 11 before we let her down the street on her own, well with friends.

She’s been nipping to shop around the corner since she was 9.

I was roaming the streets – and our house fronted the A16 trunk road – at 7.

Our very sensible lad was allowed out with a couple of his more sensible mates at 8.

His sister is now 8 and a half, not quite got the same sense of caution as her brother, and has only just convinced me she can cross a road safely in the last month or two. Occassionally she goes to her mates house that we can see from our back window and there are no roads to cross. None of her mates are allowed out on their own yet either.

I indicated that she may be allowed out with her more sensible mates next year at 9. I was informed by MrsMC that this was wrong and that she will have to be 10. Unclear if this is a sensibleness issue or a “because she’s a girl” issue. Slightly puzzling as MrsMC works in child protection and is forever pointing out that kids are in more danger at home than from strangers. Though we lived smack in the middle of the Sarah Payne/Roy Whiting investigation, and her cousin was a police officer on the case!

Depends on where you live.

Our 10 year old cycled 2 miles to his friends place today, rode off round lanes with his mate, played down the park and then went back to pals home to return to ours on his bike for tea.

Our three walked to school on thier own from about 6 or 7, about a mile.

I was free range aged about 8. It was a long time ago.

The big issue for us was traffic. Stranger danger is minimal, it’s just the press that whip it up. It has never been eager to be a child these days. According to NSPCC and various statistics, the most dangerous place for a child is at home, in bedroom (sexual abuse) or kitchen, at tea time to 8pm. Local parks and the street are basically as safe as being at school, which in itself is much safer than home. Traffic accidents, pedestrian accidents still account for vast majority of ‘out and about’ accidents.

Lots of all the above also rests on how you equip your child. Wrapping in cotton wool, limiting chances to make risk judgements in real situations does not prepare kids for real life. all the positive experiences some folk are speaking about above are more limited today, we live in a changed world. But I think we and schools need to find ways for kids to make good decisions.

Op – what would help your wife feel that your child could be safe and make good decisions?

Boy 11, only with friends and under strict understanding that the privilege will be withdrawn if he’s anywhere other than where he told us he was going (ie if he goes to the park to play football, he’d better not be roaming the streets)

Like others have said it depends where you live as to how your children are released into the big bad world, I went feral bout the age of 4 (Argyll……I was a late developer 😕 ) , by the age of 7 we were taking canoes to the inshore waters of loch sween and by the age of ten i had a moto x bike for the forest roads so we could explore the hill lochs with our tents, fishing rods, air rifles (i have been vegi since 17 so i have repented for all the animals we shot and ate 🙁 ).

I’m not any help really?, If i lived in a city or large town i’d be brickin myself if i had kids….sorry!.

about 4 for me. but this was in the 60s

about 4 for me. but this was in the 60s

This for me, but I did get one minor knife attack and a couple of trips to hospital out of it. And I was supposed to stay out of the woods.

Our 8yo is now allowed to go off with mates locally (ie to the local parks along quiet residential roads – we live in a village in the country).

Do you ever wonder why she’s pointing that out to you…

8 yr old boy is allowed to the swing park or shop with friends. He’s also allowed out on his bike but pavements only until he’s a bit more savvy. 5 yr old boy not allowed out unaccompanied beyond the garden. 14 yr old girl, 11pm curfew. Small village, everyone knows where they belong and where to find me if required.

We live in a cul-de-sac with several families in it. Kids have run feral in it since school age, and in larger groups were even earlier than that. As they got older and bolder they and we have pushed the boundaries of where the limits of their range extend to.

Local tesco express is about 300m from house, but across a busy road (with traffic lights if they go 50m extra). Son was allowed to go there alone about 8 yrs old. Has been allowed progressively further since then and now at 11.5 will cycle (mostly off road) to friends 1-1.5 miles away, or go to the park (across the same busy road without any traffic lights). We live in a relatively friendly local town with a radius of 1.5 miles and a population of 15000 people. Theres a canal, a railway line, a busy road, etc. But he’s grown up with those and has a sensible head. It probably not so much the distance that is our limit but who he is with (how sensible they are) and how long he is going for. At his age I was starting to get the 25 minute bus journey into Glasgow city centre on my own.

Our 7 yr old daughter believes she should have similar freedom. I am keen to encourage this. My other half is less keen, not because she is a girl but because she is less reliable/sensible than her brother was.

We have one of those as well – still keep an eye out for my 6yo, but not much more than that (though it is a shared use space with no pavements, so he’s effectively playing in the road, even if we do own the bit of “road” most of the kids play on). I presume we’re talking wider afield than that though.

What always seems strange to me though is that it’s fine to let pre-teen kids out to play by themselves but not alone in the house – when one of the neighbours goes to pick 9yo kid up from cubs she takes 11yo with her because she can’t leave him in the house, but it would be fine for him to go to Scouts by himself (and I presume he does).

5 year old when I was living in a traditional village in N. Borneo where the sea was just 50 metre away from our front door. We knew almost everyone there. We never heard of children drowning in sea btw coz they all swam like fish apart from me.

The place had very few cars and everyone look out for the children regardless of who they belonged to. The tradition was very common in all villages. If anyone messed with the children the entire village would string that person up and hang that person high; and I am not talking about a slap on the wrist …

The way to call the children home was by yelling out loud from the house and the message would automatically be passed on … one person shouted out for the name the next person passed on the message and so forth …

Life was good then.

Nowadays less likely coz people are different. Most families would not let kids out until they are about 12 for boys and for girls not until they are 16 at least …

🙂

Age had nothing to do with it. It was when I thought they were responsible enough. We built trust and it was reciprocated. There comes a time when you have to show them you trust them and they see that and become confident. You have then established the start of trust between yourself and your child. Casting around for some arbitrary rule or norm to give you confidence isn’t the way to proceed. Take responsibility and make the right call

I was out on my own from 5 and around where we stay that seems to be about the same. Similar sort of small town, we have a main residentail road outside the house and a cleansing depot but aside from that it’s fine. My 2 year old already knows the drill for crossing the road so by the time she’s 5 I don’t doubt she’ll be yet another screaming harpie causing chaos around the scheme 🙂

Casting around for some arbitrary rule or norm to give you confidence isn’t the way to proceed. Take responsibility and make the right call

It’s quite obvious you don’t know me… 🙄

It depends on their experience of the world. Our son went to school two villages away (10 mins by car) and no direct bus route. I think that made him a later developer

We let him decide when he thought that he was ready having watched his traffic-sense and streetwiseness develop for several months and had confidence earlier than he did

I used to cycle to school down country lanes in Gloucestershire when I was 5 – on a bike with solid rubber tyres.

I can’t remember what age we let our daughter out, but it’s fairly quiet where we are – there have always been restrictions though, which obviously relax as she gets older. She’s 14 (15 next month) and going camping to her frst festival with her mates next week 😯

Used to walk to school from around 8 or 9, about a mile maybe, especially with the detours I’d take calling in on friends and mucking about. Going out to play, say where I’m going (sometimes not always the truth) and out all day, back before dark.

Age had nothing to do with it. It was when I thought they were responsible enough.

That seems a good approach to me. Are they likely to go playing in traffic, or are they safe and cautious when they’re out with you?

I grew up with Darth Vader on telly papping on about the Green Cross Code. It’s a shame that sort of thing doesn’t still run.

the wife is dead against letting her out yet,

Has she said why? Maybe if you discussed her concerns, you could address them (or agree with them)?

When I first heard I thought why has no one on the news focussed on this?

I know I could trust my 5yr old son to walk down the road to the local corner shop and back crossing one road each way.

Would I do it? NOT a chance. Full stop.