I can’t believe people are suggesting driving to a&e and inducing vomiting. I’m not a doc, but I don’t reckon they get people in to hospital and say drink this salt water, puke up all over, you’ll be fine…

I hope she’s ok. Sounds awful but at least now she should get a proper psyciatric review, if she doesn’t you need to push for it, make sure the a&e doc asks for a review. Actually agree with Elfin to an extent, its a shame things have had to go so far before she gets help.

Thanks for the thoughts, folks.

Quick update, she’s OK I suppose. Told the paramedics to jog on and leave her to die, so the GP came out with a view to sectioning her. Acted nice as pie to the GP so he gave her a clean bill of health and left. And we’re back to square 1 👿

Glad to hear she’s doing ok hope she continues to get help.

But she’s ok (alive at least). And that’s something.

As discussed, the fact that it was 6 tablets and not a determined whole packet or 2 it sounds like a cry for help. It’s easy for someone to get scared/embarrassed when things go further and make out that they’re ok.

You mention this has occurred before and you’re “back to square 1”. I think the initial cause for this needs to be addressed; whatever is going on in her head. Until the motivation to do this has been confronted, the behaviour will recur.

Does/did the GP know that she has a history of this behaviour? If they are fully informed I think they have an obligation to someone who is clearly a danger to themselves. As soon as they are equipped with the knowledge that something may happen I’m pretty sure they re legally obliged to follow it up. An assessment of capacity shouldn’t consist of a quick chat!

So sorry you are all dealing with this.

This is meant to be constructive, hope it doesn’t sound nasty. This from personal experience.

In NA and AA, they reckon you should leave someone to hit rock bottom (it’s called Tough Love), then and only then will they:

a) seek and use help
or
b) die (which may not be a bad thing for a soul in such torment).

Both groups have ancillary groups for relatives/friends of the user so they can get support and learn how to deal with the person. They are attended and run by addicts/ex-addicts so the person feels a connection (not like a psychiatrist who has never been ill and doesn’t know how the person is feeling). They are free and you just turn up.

It must be awful for her, you and others around her. Hugs to you all x

Cheers, Karin.

Problem is I don’t think support groups for her will achieve anything. She won’t go anyway. Plus, the history of suicide I mentioned: her mother committed suicide when the family told her it was AA or nothing. There just doesn’t seem to be anything we can do other than watch her kill herself through drink/suicide, whilst at the same time health professionals deem her safe and competent and not a danger to herself or others because she knows how to behave when they interview her.

When someone you love is ill in this way it is natural to feel sorry for them, but they do feed on that, and they feed on the energy they are getting, so the more upset everyone is, the more attention and energy they get. May I suggest that you all bone up on how to deal with this in a way that is helpful to all? If nothing else, you will need help with dealing with the guilt, especially if/when she does top herself.

For people who know someone with drink problems

Families Anonymous

HTH x

Told the paramedics to jog on and leave her to die, so the GP came out with a view to sectioning her. Acted nice as pie to the GP so he gave her a clean bill of health and left.

So she didn’t go to A&E ? It’s a shame that she’s been a ‘clean bill of health’ – it does indeed suggest that you’re back to square one. And it does highlight what was previously said concerning how difficult it can be to help some people.

I know of someone who was very reluctant to accept help, or even, that they had a serious problem. It took a couple of overdosing attempts, arrests, and all sorts of endless bother, before they were sectioned. Although it was only for a few weeks (can’t remember about 2 or 3) it was the best thing that ever happened to them. They were finally, to a great extent, sorted out, and along with a supportive backup team, they have been able for many years to live a very stable life. It’s not a completely problem free life, but it’s certainly no longer a mess.

Anyway, it must be a constant dark cloud hanging over you Ox, don’t give up hope, and I hope the person concerned finally gets the help she clearly needs – even if has to be reluctantly forced upon her.

Hope your stress levels are now reduced Ox. Don’t get ill yourself as a result of the problems ashore.
All the best
Mike

When someone you love is ill in this way it is natural to feel sorry for them, but they do feed on that, and they feed on the energy they are getting, so the more upset everyone is, the more attention and energy they get.

this….

one of my aunts was like this. when she was happy she was great fun to be around. then she’d be low and a right bitch. she used to try and drown herself in alcohol. my mum found her slumped in the kitchen witha bottle of pills one time. they rushed her to the hospital (5 minutes down the road) to have her stomach pumped. my mum and another sister asked for a doctor to see her with the view to sectioning her. his question was “if i give you another bottle of pills will you take them” “no”. with that the doc was happy for her to go on her way. (i’m not having a go at the doctor(s). they see enough loonies and have enough on their plate, and i honestly think that if someone wants to top themselves, they will). a few up and down years and a few smaller incidents inbetween (again, pills, alcohol, wandering off for a night and a day) and following an argument with her fella (was was and is a top bloke who loved her dearly) she jumped from the landing with the belt form her dressing gown tied to the ballustrade and her neck.

my mum and one of her sisters found their little sister hanging, visible from outside hanging, framed in the hallway.

i think now that, despite the upset at the time, that it was for the best.

she finally took the decision to end it, and i, desite her selfishness, respect her decision.

to the OP… i hope things work out for you and her. fingers crossed.

There’s a lot of sound advice being given here. Desperate/depressed people will always seek people who tell them what they want to hear. This means they will drift away from friends who often give the most appropriate responses.

Having been through something like this I’d emphasise the need for everybody, and those not so closely involved, to be educated properly about how to respond to someone like Ox’s friend. Tough love is not easy to give.

The other really important thing is that those who are on the frontline of caring need to have support mechanisms. When we had to take care of some of the section several times, we maintained our equilibrium because of people taking care of us. Making sure that we were riding, seen all the good things in our lives, having proper meals etc.

Having done some reading around issues like this it’s amazing about how close we all are to the edge. Someone with a clinically diagnosed condition may be exhibiting 7 symptoms (that might seem totally unrelated). I know I and most of my mates have 6!

Good luck Ox, take care of yourself as as well as your friend.