Just got back from a week holiday with my partner’s brother’s family. They have two boys (14 and 11) and we were shocked when they were consuming pints of (2% Tesco’s value) lager which had been bought for them by their parents.

They wanted our 14 year old lad to join in and there was a bit of tension when we made it clear that we were not happy for him to do so.

Their youngest has not even started senior school yet (will do so in September) and it just felt totally wrong seeing him with a pint glass in his hand.

I guess that 14 is just about an acceptable age (too young imo) to get acquainted with alcohol but 11? -wtf!

Would be interested in other forum members opinions on this.

Growing up we had a total ban until about 14. At 14 it was still banned (and illegal) but the folks had a more liberal attitude.

You are the parent. You know your kids. You set the rules.

As you allude to at 14 they are exposed anyway. In my (probably unpopular opinion) you are better exposing a glass of wine / beer in the home environement, and being open and discussing “the buzz” in an honest manner.

#Edit – 11 is too young though! Definitely!

with you on this

My own parents were quite switched on about this in my opinion. Basically, alcohol was never forbidden. My folks usually drank at meal times and so, any time me or one of my siblings asked to ‘try some of that’ we were given a small glassful to try. This had the effect of totally removing the ‘rebelion factor’ from alcohol consumption as by the time we were teenagers both my siblings and myself were already well aquainted with different beers and wines.

Didn’t stop me getting absolutely minging drunk on the odd occasion tho.

As for at what age this began…no idea. I can’t remember a time when any of us were refused alcohol so we must have been pretty small…

11? lol.

That is so wrong on so many levels. They should start him on something quality – perhaps the syrup tainted Innes & Gunn would appeal to his childish palette?

Seriously though, you might as well feed your kids Silk Cut Extra light tabs if you want your family name to fall from the tree like a rotten, diseased apple. You did the right thing.

My eldest is coming up 15 and we occasionally allow him a glass of beer, youngest is 11 and he gets a shandy with 20% beer/80% lemonade. Personally I feel that making alcohol something special and a right of passage into adulthood is more likely to have them binge drinking at 16/17 years old (or younger), like many of the kids at the local high school.

For me, not at 11, no. But 15ish, I think I would prefer that my kids had a couple of beers at home rather than a skinful in an unknown park/house/wherever.

In Spain children are allowed access to alcohol from quite and early age, there is a completely different attitude to alcohol. I didn’t see the same degree of alcohol related problems as we have in the UK.
The whole attitude is different. I don’t think there is a problem if the kids are taught and understand alcohol, if I remember back in the day that Shandy Bass or the kids’ shandy drink contained about 1,2% alcohol. Whether they are allowed to drink or not the education on alcohol is more important, prohibition is more likely to encourage drinking behind your back, imo.

On second thoughts, given the OP’s username, a can of Tesco lager seems quite tame compared to a childhood diet of barbecued alligator and moonshine.

(No offence if you are actually called that).

My parents took the same attitude as roadie in denial which removed the excitement from alcohol until I was a lot older.

Maybe they are on to something? Totally removing the taboo like.

I gave our 18 month old a sip of port the other day. But only because he was coughing on his cigar…

DrP

THe harder you supress alcohol the more tempting it becomes to your children 😀

I let my 4yo son have a couple of sips of my can of spitfite last night. Am I going to hell?

hmm, hate to play devils advocate here, but telcos value lager is very weak, would you have been so shocked if dad had let them have a pint of shandy? (half and half with 5.6% lager, I know its not quite that simple, but close enough?)

Both my sister and I drank from a young age, probably around 9-10, as someone mentioned above, it completely removed the rebellion factor, and a glass of wine/beer is probably better for you than a pint of cola, which no one would balk at?

Lols at DrP 🙂

At 13-14 I was allowed a glass of wine or beer if I wanted it. Neither of my parents are heavy drinkers, so it didn’t hold much attraction for me. I do think that giving a couple of lads that age free reign over a crate of beer – even if it’s only 2% – is extremely irresponsible though and is hardly going to encourage them to drink responsibly when they’re older.

5yo can drink at home. I was allowed weak drinks from about 9-11 (I forget) – removed the taboo and desire to drink at the park at 14-15 when my peers were

11 is way too young IMO. 15-16, maybe a small glass of beer or something. I remember at that age my parents would never allow me to drink anything but when I sneaked stuff I always thought it tasted vile.

My son is 16, he’s shown absolutely no interest whatsoever despite me liking a beer on a regular basis. When we have parties, one of the parents girls who usually turns up is 16 too and her parents let her get absolutely bladdered. I’ll guarantee she’ll have tried to encourage my son to drink on more than one occasion but as far as I can tell he’s never taken her up on the offer.

I think it’s encouraging the pint thing, rather than allowing a taste that’s the main issue. Never actively encouraged our lads to drink but didn’t forbid it either. They are all 19+ now and rarely drink much at home although there’s always beer/cider available (in fact I was pleasantly surprised to come back from holiday to find supplies still there 😆 ).

No strict rules here. My son wasn’t interested at 11 he started at 15. He and his mates went a bit potty at first then it calmed down.
They can’t buy it anyway, and they only tend to drink at sleepovers. Though when I tidy up the next day there are countless bottles of hardly touched beer around…..what a waste!

The same rules applied to my daughter, though alcohol not one sip has ever passed her lips.

A pint at 11 is a bit strange and I’m surprised they would enjoy the taste of such a foul brew.

I’d be fine with my 13 year old son having a small glass of beer with us but I would offer him a good quality tasty beer so he can appreciate it it, rather than just drinking something because it’s alcohol. Any time I’ve offered him a glass he’s always said no though – he likes a wee taste and will always try a new beer but a taste to see what it’s like is all he wants.

I totally support your brothers-in-law’s attitude. Alcohol imo, should be discovered and experienced under the supervision of parents and responsible adults, and from an early age. As someone who experienced a totally non-english upbringing, I was given alcohol throughout my childhood, sometimes, but not always (depending on the quality) wine would be mixed with water. My earliest recollection of having perhaps having ‘a tad too much alcohol’ was when celebrating my ninth birthday – I had to go to my bedroom and have a little kip for a couple of hours.

When I, and my mates who had never experienced alcohol at home, reached the ages of about 13/14, I was totally bemused at how obsessed my mates were to having alcohol and getting drunk – I couldn’t really understand.

I rarely drink these days.

In contrast to that, I had a very severely imposed ban by my father (who smoked) on smoking, By the age of 13 I was smoking everyday (luckily he couldn’t smell it), by 15 I was smoking 2 packets everyday and I made my first of many failed attempts to give up smoking. My father didn’t lift the ban on me smoking until I was about 20 and in the armed forces.

utter tosh.. we only saw alcohol at christmas and were allowed a glass of woodpecker cider at christmas lunch. my father told me that if he ever heard or saw me in a pub before my 18th birthday i’d be for the high jump ( and he didnt mean at the olympics) i never touched any until my 187th birthday and am only a social drinker.
alcohol is never will never be anything other than an excuse dont drink no excuse.

totalshell its great that at the age of 187 you’re still trying new things.

I totally support your brothers-in-law’s attitude.

I get where you’re coming from but surely giving a kid cheap lager is just teaching them that alcohol is just something to get pissed with and the taste doesn’t matter.

My son is 16,

girls who usually turns up is 16 too and her parents let her get absolutely bladdered

either playing the crafty game (good on him), or a bummer (good on him)
{whatever the flippant-i-didn’t-mean-it-wholesome-friendly-hugs emoticon is, it goes here}

i was forced booze from my early teens ’cause i wouldn’t interact with folk at the parties my parents went to (chronically shy). i used to tip it down the sink when they weren’t looking.
seeing as i’ve been drinking since 8 last night, and don’t plan on stopping ’til i need to go to sleep, their wise plan may have backfired a tad..

I’m going to get roasted for this, but in my view, alcohol is a horrible drug and shouldn’t be normalized for anyone. According to prof Nutt’s chart of drug harm, alcohol is quite high on the list to be thinking about giving it to kids, but then it’s a drug all wrapped up in adult culture, trips to the pub and fine wines, plus it’s within the law, so it must be ok.

1. Heroin (Class A)

2. Cocaine (Class A)

3. Barbiturates (Class B)

4. Street methadone (Class A)

5. Alcohol (Not controlled)

6. Ketamine (Class C)

7. Benzodiazepine (Class B)

8. Amphetamine (Class B)

9. Tobacco (No class)

10. Bupranorphine (Class C)

11. Cannabis (Class B)

12. Solvents (Not controlled)

13. 4-MTA (Class A)

14. LSD (Class A)

15. Methylphenidate (Class B)

16. Anabolic steroids (Class C)

17. GHB (Class C)

18. Ecstasy (Class A)

19. Alkylnitrates (Not controlled)

20. Khat (Not controlled)

I think ‘demistifying alcohol’ is a good thing, but I think giving an 11-yr old a pint is a bit … well, weird. I’d say it’s fine giving them a tablespoonful in a small glass to satiate their curiosity. Doling out pints seems to me to be akin to those insidious candy cigarettes you used to be able to get. Unless it’s reverse psychology, trying to get them to hate it?

ObDisclaimer, I Am Not A Parent.

I get where you’re coming from but surely giving a kid cheap lager is just teaching them that alcohol is just something to get pissed with and the taste doesn’t matter.

Not really imo, giving an 11 year old some 2% Tesco lager is telling them this is beer, you can drink the stuff without the need to get drunk, ie, getting drunk need not be part of the ritual. I should perhaps add that whilst my parents were happy to give me alcohol as a child, it was in a strictly controlled manner – I distinctly remember getting a severe telling off once for gulping a glass of red wine too quickly. The ‘tad too much alcohol’ incident on my ninth birthday occurred whilst I was staying with my grandmother in France – my parents weren’t around. She had a fairly relaxed attitude, she would occasionally offer me one of her Gauloises when I was in my teens 🙂

My daughter has had the occasional sip of beer/cider from the age or around 11/12, mostly just to let her get a taste. She has tried wine too, but hates it. She might now have 1/4 of a bottle of cider if I’m drinking some. She’s now 15 and we were discussing alcohol earlier this week. She really doesn’t have any interest in it, though if she was at a party – where everyone else was drinking – she’d likely have a small amount.

Maybe it helps that I’m not much of a drinker either. A small glass of wine with dinner and maybe 1-2 beers/ciders per week suits me just fine. In households where alcohol consumption is higher I would expect the kids would see that as “normal” and would therefore expect to have more themselves. So – to the OP – how much alcohol were the parents of the 11 and 14 year old drinking?

I’m going to get roasted for this, but in my view, alcohol is a horrible drug and shouldn’t be normalized for anyone. According to prof Nutt’s chart of drug harm, alcohol is quite high on the list to be thinking about giving it to kids, but then it’s a drug all wrapped up in adult culture, trips to the pub and fine wines, plus it’s within the law, so it must be ok.

Thank you for saving me from writing something similar myself. Odd, but telling, that one should feel uncomfortable expressing such an opinion; but, as you say, many people feel that they are at least partially defined as an adult by their relationship with alcohol and social associations.

My kids are now 24, 23 & 21 I always let them taste whatever I was drinking from a very young age (sometimes they liked it most times they didn’t). As they got older (teenagers) I took the view that it was better for them to have a drink at home in a “relatively” controlled environment than down the local park drinking pints of cooking sherry.
I’m pretty pleased with the way they’ve turned out.
My parents had a similar attitude, in fact my dad even helped me brew a batch of homebrew lager when I was around 13 or 14 (he was a police Sargeant at the time). It was super strong but enough to put me off homebrew for life. 😳

Thanks for the responses everyone.

My wife and I are moderate drinkers and allow our lad to taste beer, wine etc. if he asks but do not actively encourage him to drink.

In the case of my nephews the oldest one is 14 going on 40 and seems in a hurry to “grow up”. It is him that seems to have pushed his parents to get him the alcohol. His younger brother is physically about the same size and probably gets treated differently than a more proportionally sized child because of that.

We were uncomfortable with the whole situation particularly as their kids were somewhat hyper and were charging up and down the stairs – I would not have liked trying to explain a drunken 11 year old with a broken leg in A&E!

As long as they’re not driving.

I let my 3 yr old daughter have a drink of my guinness and now she is well aware of her limits regarding alcohol consumption. She knows that when she’s vomited several times and can’t walk, that she should only have another pint, then go onto shorts…..

As I lie on my bed, in my airconditioned room, sipping on a Chang, wondering about this deep seated question,

My folks got me pissed by accident a couple of times when I was young on strawberry champagne and sips at a new years party

THey were quite strict on the drink and going out thing. Which I could blame for my massive drink and drugs binge when I was 18-24 or so.

I am sure that if they had let me drink at 11 I would have avoided all that and been a normal law abiding citizen………however I would never have got to experience the mind blowing high of crack, the loved up feeling of E or the carpet burns on my forhead from one too many wobbly eggs and stella.

I figure if you ban it, they will be interested.

as for your Inlaws kids, if they are nccking pints and getting drunk as a laugh then thats a bit stupid really

but having weak nasty beer in a social environment and not being allowed to get wankered just teaches them about limits surely?

I was allowed to drink wine with meals from the age of around 6, was having shandy and sherry (oh the shame!) not long after, never actually liked the taste of beer when I was little so that was never an option. Alcohol was always there, but the dangers or having too much were made clear – I never met my alcholic grandfather as he died when I was very small.

I’m now 42, and have only been properly hammered 3-4 times in my life, as I didn’t enjoy the experience.

From my own experience, I don’t see a problem with allowing young people to try alcohol under parental control to stop them being stupid later, but I accept others may disagree.

And I agree with prof. Nutt about the relative harm of alcohol, but I’d suggest that as evidence to relax the other drug restrictions