We are on the lookout / search for an on-one employee – to head up the customer service side of on-one , applicant should not smell too badly , have the ability to work in a very small team of one , be self motivated , must know mary from mungo or midge , recognise an inbred , know all about gimps and pompinos .

Very uncometitive salary with terrible working hours , must be able to answer lots of questions about how many dollars is 175 pounds , be extremely patient , handle , appease , and love his customers in equal measure .

Also needs to have good web skills and be able to get the on-one website back to its quirky best , a good ability to write a load of noblox and create opportunity out of nothing .

Must love mountain bikes and know all about them , and be prepared to live it and love it .

Not sure if that makes any sense , but if anyone is interested in working for on-one and handlng customer service , website work , and generally mucking in when required , then theres a job going , currently based at carcroft but in 4 months hopefully at our swanky new warehouse just off junct 34 right next to magna (unless I bottle the move next week when its crunch decision time)

Any interested applicants mail me at dave@planet-x-bikes.com with some sort of cv or why youd be good at dealing with customers asking lots of questions about on-one bikes , and why youd be good at maintaining and creating great content for the on-one site ,

what about fruit his customer service is legendary….

Erm, is not this business related, and therefore sort of a bit naughty?

Erm, is not this business related, and therefore sort of a bit naughty?

Oh behave.

They’re offering a job for flip sakes… and where better to find an On-One lover?

I’ll do it. Can I work from home?

££,£££? Not that I’m interested, just nosey.

if its a bit naughty ill apologise to chipps / mark etc – ill check ? not sure if it is business related in that nothing is being sold or promoted , ive seen plenty of posts recently with headlines “lost my job” , so if its ok to post lost my job its surely a good yang to the yin to be able to offer a job

sort of guessed that in these credit crunch times of redundancy , unemployment , and doom and gloom there could well be a crackingly fantastic opportunity for someone from the singletrack world to get involved with something they love , surely an opportunity as opposed to an issue ? but maybe not

Ok then.

Ooh, look; I may have just the applicant for you:

“Hello my name is Lubyanka, I am 22 years old woman from Ukraina. I am come to Britain for to learn English, and maybe meet nice English man. I am look for job, but I have no luck. I am hope you can gve me job. I am very hard work girl; my last job in Kiev, I am lapdancer. It is good job, I enjoy. I make many men very happy, they always tell me this. But it is not enough money in Ukraina, I must get more money for to send home to my mother and family. I have 14 brothers and sisters.

I no have much experience with bikes, but I am good learner. My last boss, Mr Nikabolokov, tell me I am learn very fast. He is nice man, but it is very small. I learn many British customs, and I can make tea, and full breakfast. I am loving Black Pudding. It is like special dish we have at home in Ukrania.

So, please if you can give me job, it will make me very happy. I will work very hard for you, and we can make arrangement where I sleep. I am from small village near Chernobyl, and I am not so much like other women; I have special surprise for my special men! I am very happy and friendly girl. I am liking dancing, parties and talk about electromagnetic propulsion system (it is my PHD from university in Kiev). I am very much like British way of life; eat chips, go to pub, watch TV. I think I am very good for this job.

I am look forward to hear from you very soon.

Many love,

Lubyanka.”

Blimey. The perfect candidate, I’d say!

rudeboy in being a dick shocker, sure there must be someone in the joblesstrackworld club who would be interested, sounds like a great opportunity.

she looks a bit overqualified to me

rudeboy in being a dick shocker

..even though I’ve bumped the thread up 3 times now? Oh, sorry, make it 4.

rs in ‘another keyboard warrior hiding behind the anonymity of the internet to issue insults’ shocker… 🙄

Dave; she’ll be very, very disappointed.

And you woon’t want to disappoint a lady now, would you?

good to see this on here – I support it – good luck hope you find a good person for the role

Rudeboy in ‘another keyboard warrior hiding behind the anonymity of the internet to issue insults’ shocker…

Behave yourself. I never insult anyone. They just decide to feel insulted. Different. 😀

sorry well done on your constructive bumping of the thread 😛

I never insult anyone

That’s pretty close to the trades description right there…

shut up Fred.

No. 😉

BTW, there’s already a RudeBoy appreciation thread, if you want to have a pop. Save doing it on this one.

Sounds like a great job for someone. Good luck to whoever goes for it.