B@rney rumours?

Djlover we do the samething. I feel for those who do have to go back to work fulltime. Money constraints? Can’t be easy for a newish mum leaving their child for so long

Let us knows how it goes M_F – praying for you.

Been there with suspected meningitis (after nursery sent him home cos he was ‘out of sorts’…)

BTW, my wife works in a nursery and sent home child today who was ill – as said before, if in doubt, it is parents choice, not nursery.

If I had spawn of Hora it would be in a barrel being fed thru the bunghole let alone in a nursery

well i guess that there are times when i just feel mum would do a better job usually when i have just lost my temper.

So what you meant is that it would be better for your kids if it was mum? Not having a go at your parenting at all, as I’m sure you’re wonderful, and as a SAHD more dedicated than me – I only have one day a week with them on my own, and reckon if I was 5 days a week I’d probably get a lot more angry! The thing is, when upset our little one will actually more often than not turn to me (the fool), and whilst they miss mum when I’m there and she’s not they also miss me when it’s the other way round.

Oh and they go nursery 2.5 days a week, which is about right – both love going and toddle off without a backwards glance in my direction, though they were less sure when very little.

i’ll never understand why people have children, then ship them off to nursery FT (don’t know if spawnofhora is FT though) when they are still babies

Maybe because that’s the way their jobs are – I’d certainly not judge.

So what you meant is that it would be better for your kids if it was mum?

no problem aracer that is actually what i meant.

if anybody is playing judge is it is a whining hora

Hora – have you picked your child up yet?

If I could afford it we’d spend most of our time with him but then it’d end up being detrimental wouldn’t it. Son do you have to go out…but son 36 is too young an age to leave home etc…

It was noticeable that our son who went at 8 months was fine with nursery (as were the other 8 monthers) but those who went at 12 months plus had real seperation issues even a couple of years later.

Small sample size – could be chance, could be the kind of parents who want their child to go sooner or to go later – who knows.

Having had first hand experience of separation ‘issues’ from both sides (my middle son cried every time I left him, during his first year at playgroup – heartbreaking but I was assured he soon settled once I left) I have to say to any parents going through the same thing – please persevere. I chose just one session per week for my son at age 2 3/4 which in retrospect I know was wrong – he was absolutely fine a year later when he attended 3 times a week. I agree that children who haven’t had much opportunity to mix or been left with different carers do find it more difficult initially to cope with nursery – we always encourage parents/carers to say goodbye when leaving their child and not to just slip out unnoticed, but if the child cries then we encourage the carer to still leave (not as easy as it sounds), with assurance that we will call to let them know once the child has settled) which they invariably do. Often, until the child is used to being left, they will attend for a much shorter session – with the carer’s co-operation separation anxieties don’t last for long.

hora – Member
If I could afford it we’d spend most of our time with him

Perhaps you should have considered that before conception?

Mf hope all is ok.

hora – Member

If I could afford it we’d spend most of our time with him

Or cut down on your spending?

It’s not for me to judge other peoples choices, but 9 months?

From a personal point of view, we decided to have a child and hand in hand with that decision was the choice that Mrs STR wouldn’t be going back to work until she attended school.

Without a close family circle to rely on (for various reasons I’ll not go into now), the only alternative option would be to leave our child in the care of strangers.

Considering that our daughter is the most important factor in our lives without question, then that just wasn’t an option. Mollycoddled, or whatever you want to call it, we’re also the parents that didn’t let a 5yr old go out alone, didn’t let an 8yr old go further beyond the limited boundaries we set her, and still don’t let a 10yr old wander the streets as freely as some parents seem to see fit.

On the flipside, we didn’t move to the centre of the nearest town. like one mother we know, so that her 10yr old daughter didn’t have friends on the doorstep, ergo she had no reason to leave the house unsupervised whatsoever.

Well, after 4 hours at the hospital and MORE X-rays, it turned out to ‘only’ be tonsillitis so she has been discharged and is currently drifting in and out of sleep.

(The rapid breathing etc, they say, is her reaction to the temperature, not infection in her lungs. )

Sometimes I wonder if it will all ever stop – and I have my mum going in for major surgery (lung cancer) on 28 Dec.

🙁

Hora, I’m starting to like you 🙂

Without a close family circle to rely on (for various reasons I’ll not go into now), the only alternative option would be to leave our child in the care of strangers.

Considering that our daughter is the most important factor in our lives without question, then that just wasn’t an option.

It’s not for me to judge other peoples choices, but she didn’t spend any time at all interacting with other children without you in attendance until she went to school? At 4 and a bit it was suddenly OK for her to be left in the care of strangers, or would you rather have kept her at home? 🙄

It’s not for me to judge other peoples choices, but 9 months?

A view from the otherside of the fence for you…

Our little one is 8 months – and has just had her first 2 days at Nursery.

Now she is crawling around and investigating everything, the childcare centre is set up much better for that than our home.

I am only too aware of the importance of teaching her that she can’t go touching the oven or the bin or pull the books out of the shelf etc as these are not good things for her and therefore we have to set boundaries; however, I also don’t want her to be so restrained that she isn’t “interested” in anything. Childcare allows for a greater balance of these things than we alone can provide her in the confines of our home.

At the nursery, she can explore, with less concern on our part as to what she will get into – no kitchen or bathrooms etc. She can learn to share and interact (as she has no brothers or sisters… yet?) with others, not just immediate family and close friends (who in general are more lenient in some ways, through familiarity). She is also learning that although Dad and Mum are always there for her, we don’t need to always be there, physically. For us, doing that at school is a big change rather than the more gentle, incremental one child care offers. School will still be a big change – “why make it harder?”, if you will.

As the primary carer/stay at home Dad, I can work a few hours a week now, which means a bit more money to do more things with her; we can afford swimming every week, not every fortnight. I can afford a few different toys and books for her to keep her interest etc as she grows out of her current ones. My wife and I can do things we want to do for ourselves more readily, which means we are happier, healthier and more relaxed, resulting in a more positive homelife overall for her to be raised in, in our case.

She is still the main focus for both of us; I have told my employer so, so they are well aware that I may well have to drop everything at times to go get her – the same applies for my wife.

Just some thoughts for you…

@Hora – I have to say, I agree with those that also find it funny you can rant on here, but not spare the time to go check on the little one…

But I also think that if you aren’t that happy with the nursery, change it. If we get crap service at an LBS we go elsewhere and that is only for a bike – for our kids we should be ever more ready to make any changes we see as necessary.

M_F – thoughts for you and yours; when it rains, it pours…

@Hora – I have to say, I agree with those that also find it funny you can rant on here, but not spare the time to go check on the little one

He was and is fine.

I’m not going to spend the whole of winter being a nervous first-time parent.

As mentioned a few times above, there are different types of nurseries.

The purpose of the thread was to rant, not to ask for or be offered internet advice on parenting skills.

The purpose of the thread was to rant, not to ask for or be offered internet advice

If I don’t want a response I tend not to post sentences with ‘?’ at the end on a public forum.

Maybe just have a good shout when you’re alone in the car next time?

Hora washing laundry in public shocker!

Just to add to the rant,

CANT BELIEVE OUR NURSERY IS SHUT FOR A BURST PIPE. THERE WILL BE A REFUND AS THEY HAVE TAKEN £100s OF US IN THE LAST 4 MONTHS WHILE THE BOY HAS BEEN AT HOME WITH SICKNESS THEY ‘HAVENT SEEN ANY OTHER BABY WITH’ (BS).

Dropping everything is easier said than done for alot people. (thats why a nursery is used in the first place).

Having said that, much more time at home for me and work might make it permanent, then I will be feeling the pain of looking after a child full time.

It was a rhetorical question-mark pal 🙄

Our 7 month old goes to a childminder 3 days a week. He loves it, he’s socialising with other children at a young age, shows no separation anxiety at all. My wife would love to stay with him all week, but we’ve had to compromise with her going back to work part time. I don’t see the problem with Childcare at all.

It was a rhetorical question-mark pal

Mine was an ironic post, pal.

The meaning is lost on you if you saw the word rhetoric and still carried on typing irony.

Irony – meaning feigned ignorance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

Not sure why I’d have refrained from posting if I was pretending not to know what a rhetorical question was? (this is a rehetorical question, btw)

Anyway, glad your boy is/was ok and that he continues to be so should they choose to call when it’s inconvenient in future.

One of hora jnr’s baby mates in the nursery is currently in hospital with suspected Swine flu.

All the babies were taken out (all the toddlers were still there). And hora junior.