Really – can’t you eat crisps with your mouth closed and perhaps even consider not having to attack the bag like it is a wounded animal?

(Considers a Falling Down style solution to today’s frustrations).

I know exactly how you feel, the guy sat next to me sounds like he’s chewing on a bag of spanners!

do a cookie monster impression whilst staring them dead in the eyes

*NOMNOMNOMNOMNNNNNOMNOMNOM!*

make sure to spill food out the sides of your mouth

then go silent and stare until they leave the office.

(Stifles a laugh at phil)

🙂

Seriously though – don’t these people know what noise they are making? Radio 6 is now reaching ear-bleeding levels of volume as I try to drown out the racket.

The guy sitting behind me in my office has this strange ritual where he always cuts up fruit into small pieces before he eats it. It’s not the eating that’s noisy though, it’s the sucking/licking of his fingers afterwards! It’s truly vile!

Pah! Try working with a bloody bulemic. Its not the noisy eating, its the projectile vomiting afterwords.

This place stinks

the noise of eating doesn’t bother me, it’s the smell of other people’s food that grates
we’re coming into soup season now too

don’t these people know what noise they are making?

no, because no one/you haven’t told them.

try telling them…

no, because no one/you haven’t told them.

try telling them…
Yeah, that would go down a storm wouldn’t it? Some people don’t take criticism well.

Evidently

punch them in the throat

come and join me in my office… 2 desks, leather sofa, 4 wheelie chairs, ensuite bathroom with shower, garden view and just me… i dont eat smelly foods or eat with my mouth open.

i do insist on naked mondays/hardcore gabba tuesdays/wet and wild wednesdays/bring your gimp to work thursdays and find the phone fridays though 😉

no, because no one/you haven’t told them.

try telling them…

Yeah, that would go down a storm wouldn’t it? Some people don’t take criticism well.

coward.. it’s attitudes like yours that start wars

wet and wild wednesdays

😆

the guy next to me eats a bag of cheese and onion in 2 handfuls. Gross.

The guy opposite is ashamed of eating. He must be, he hides his butty in his desk drawer between bites. When he’s actually taking a bite he lowers his head below the level of his laptop screen and his eyes move from side to side, furtively.
Sometimes a covert scoffer is as irritating as an extrovert masticator.

Maybe it’s just me being intolerant. I doubt it though, I’m perfection.

I hate it…I’m deaf in my left ear and the person on the right of me eats like a pig, diving into a bag if crisps like one might escape, crunching things with their mouth open, slurping coffee, gulping loudly.

Cos I can only hear in my right ear, that means that’s all i can hear while they’re eating.

Eating dinner round at my in-laws is worse though, sitting at the dining table probably sounds the same as the noises you’d hear at a caribou carcass on the Serengeti.

My wife thinks I have a problem with hearing people eat.

But my deafness makes my own eating noises sound loud to me, so I’m usually paranoid that people can hear me eat too.

I’m looking forward to when they invent a meal in a pill like the 80’s sci-fi movies promised.

I find the chicken legs I throw over my shoulder after I’ve eaten quite annoying to others.

I am quiet when I throw them however.

the noise i dont mind, but the smell of someone re-heating last nights curry in the microwave is bang out of order.

if i cant smoke at my desk, you can take your stinky cabbage soup out into the rain to eat it.

Smells…oh i forgot about that!

There was a guy at our old office who would microwave fish pies…absolutely stunk out the whole office.

Someone else used to toast Welsh tea cakes in the morning which made me hungry.

I manage to be out the office when most eat their lunch and find reasons to be away from my desk at snack times. But I’m still left listening to the drinking noises. FFs is it too hard to learn how to drink without glugging? Not to mention the every 2 minute throat clearing from the smokers.

I become fixated on a throat clearer / flem stretcher sat 1 desk away from me – FFS cough up the greenie or just die quietly…. Someone asked them if they still had their cough – it was obvious with all the hawking up they have been doing throughout the day and they still he did not get the message. Everyone appears to be coughing around me and I now feel quite ill. At least the Japanese guy that sits next to me and spends the whole day chuffing away is not in today – if they were both I think I might have had a mad ranting moment.

And just look who she’s got to look forewords to spending the evening with!

**waves**

Last nights curry reheated eh? *waves*

TBH it smells better bubbling hot in the microwave than it does parping out of my backside all afternoon. Take your pick.

Oh and leaving a nice ripe camembert in the office fridge overnight can make you a lot of freinds v quickly, I’ve discovered

And while we’re having a moan, since when was it acceptable to blow your nose at your desk? And it’s not just one person, loadsa people from this ‘no manner’s parallel universe’ seemed to heave transversed into ours. In middle earth we go to the toilet!

And just look who she’s got to look forewords to spending the evening with!
**waves**

Your food doesnt last long enough to be noisy!

However the gas coming out the other end could be described as a military offensive. 😉

Talk about passive aggressive. Aren’t you a partner in your own business if memory serves?

I bet you leave post it notes about the place too.

I find telling them:

“Mmm, they sound nice”

usually works.

MrsPoddy – Member
At least the Japanese guy that sits next to me and spends the whole day chuffing away is not in today

PeterPoddy – Member
And just look who she’s got to look forewords to spending the evening with!

**waves**

Ha ha!

Bubbling.

The bloke I work with thinks it is hilarious to pop his bag of crisps. He then sets his food out and proceeds to shovel it into his mouth in about three bites while talking non stop. Food flying out of his mouth while he rabbits on about some crap. I want to grab a pen and drive it into his windpipe and laugh as the life ebbs from him!

Some people are so bloody fussy.

I got a load of grief for simply slurping my cup a soup through these

I’m only trying to brighten their day up for gods sake. Who doesn’t raise a smile when they see a curly straw eh?

I sound as if I’m chewing ball bearings when I eat my lunch.

Jaw clicks away on every chew, makes me quite selfconcious, but it’s my lunch time and if they don’t like it they can go eat elsewhere.

I sound as if I’m chewing ball bearings when I eat my lunch.

Jaw clicks away on every chew, makes me quite selfconcious, but it’s my lunch time and if they don’t like it they can go eat elsewhere.

i do insist on naked mondays/hardcore gabba tuesdays/wet and wild wednesdays/bring your gimp to work thursdays and find the phone fridays though

I’ve got Thursday off… you only need to ask…

only if you’re willing to help me (in your gimp capacity) with find the phone friday 😉

tron – Member
Talk about passive aggressive. Aren’t you a partner in your own business if memory serves?
I bet you leave post it notes about the place too.
POSTED 4 HOURS AGO # REPORT-POST

Yep – he isn’t the problem though, it is an employee – which is really why I haven’t said anything (trying to keep employees happy us hard enough as it is without nagging them about loud eating).

… if it’s on vibrate I’m in!

EDIT – realised the pic had swearing in it sorry mods!

TSY… go to:

http://www.myspaceantics.com/images/myspace-graphics/misc/cyanide-and-happiness-cell-phone.jpg

not safe for work if you dont like the F word.