i plan to attach a bamboo pole to a headband and dangle a pair of my own pants on the end of that.

Real danger of ending up cock eyed either way. 😀

My last similar case involved me measuring my clients inside leg and the height of his window sill.

Surely you needed a third measurement?

mrsfry – Member
Just write an anonymous letter and wack it through his box at night.

That must be euphimistic!