I wouldn’t worry too much about the not being able to work his tv or TV recorder. Pretty sure there’s a stat that if you encounter a technology before you’re 40 then you’ll be able to use that technology for the rest of your life. Anything that comes along after 40 will be increasingly baffling or confusing and we’ll struggle with it more as we get older. Bear in mind that when he was 40 tvs only had 1 input (the aerial), there were only 3 channels which didn’t broadcast 24hours per day, no remote controls and no TV recorders.

I’m 37 and find my smartphone baffling. To me it’s got 5 useful icons and 20 decorative pictures. At school it was the kids who showed the teachers how to use the VHS player.

Sure your neighbour is elderly, sounds like he’s had a tough time recently and is understandably a bit stressed and anxious which will impair his cognitive ability. This in combination with loneliness means he’s looking for a friendly face. Just do what you’re doing and maybe try and find some other neighbours who could share the burden.

My brother has a similar issue with an elderly lady opposite him. She is a spinster aged around 90. He moved in about 5 years ago and introduced himself. She’s now fairly dependant on him and gets a tap on the door or call quite frequently. Its usually tech related stuff plus shes nearly deaf too. She has relatives but they never appear. Why that’s the case we don’t know…but what can you do?

When people need help, you assist, but there are times he says he is busy and she has to learn to wait. There are moments when she takes advantage. She’s a nice old soul but I feel its getting to the point she needs to provide herself with care as my brother simply doesn’t have the time or resource to provide the demand. He says what if that was me? and that’s the mindset you have to see it or you would never help anyone. It is the right way. He has a young family of his own too.

Frankenstein – fair play chap. He’s very fortunate to have you there.

Update:

0800 Sunday doorbell rings/bangs on lounge window. I sleep and lazily ignore it (sorry but honest).

1100 geared and dressed for a ride. Yeah bring it on.

1105 Doorbell.

1130 I con my way into finding out the other son is 20 miles away and I ring him. He tells me to call Sky/Virgin. No not that type of confusion! He’s sitting next me. I can’t say your Dad is nuts sitting next to me. Just get here now.

I also found out his meds were increased. I’m familiar with them from uni studies. They can cause confusion.

His son arrives and will call a doctor in the week. We all acknowledge there are times of confusion for the elderly guy.

I relax. Result! Poor guy hopefully it’s not dementia.

1700 Missus hangs up on me.
She’s not impressed as craves my attention and my doorbell just went off again. She goes berserk and refuses to take my call. Doghouse.

1715 I say this is the last time today until I drive him to the Docs tomorrow. I write down TV’s instructions.

1730 off for a ride finally.

I’m frustrated with myself and will gladly pay for coke and hookers right now.

It’s my fault. I’m buying a hammer to destroy my doorbell.

Thank god I left teaching as I wouldn’t have the time to assist but now I’m behind with business plan and my lady/sex life and my Parents are miffed I’m visiting late.

Only I can fix this…

Blimey, poor you. Does the son realise the extent of his father’s health? Why are you driving him to the GP, you can not take the place of his son and the son needs to man up. Sorry, haven’t a clue what to suggest except that you may just have to ignore the door bell and the phone. Your sanity becomes important too.

My boss’s phone used to ring every day with an old guy asking for Caroline. He simply refused to accept it was a wrong number and got irate every time. It only stopped when we moved office!

To be honest his son was annoyed as he had to come out from a family outing.

I told him I’ve been called out 8 times a day since Thursday.

I guess I would have taken my Dad to A&E if I lived close by.

I asked the son to ring the Doctors (at least) to make an appointment tomorrow but as he’s at work, I volunteered to take him and get his med reduced to his normal amount as I can’t be out 6-8 times and lose that many hours.

It’s when the old man says “please help me with watery eyes” I’m a sucker to help.

I think his son knows he’s no real danger yet and just confused then it’s ok.

I’m worried when I move abroad I can’t help my own parents.

Just got home and mate took me out for a ride thank god and my door bell has been rang 15 times according to my alarm system…

I will get him sorted out with the Docs and then apologise to my lady.
I’d still help but he’s lucky I don’t work away anymore.

Awaiting pizza…

Sounds like a shit son.

Maybe, I was expecting him to stay or take him home or to the Docs at A&E.

I’m hoping the GP can sort him out.

Makes you wonder about older people cope.

Look after your health people.

I would like to buy you a beer frankenstein but I think you too far away. Total respect dude for giving a shit about your neighbour and caring. This world needs more of you. Nice one.

I think you should ring the son again and tell him either to move in with his father or take him in with his family.

If I said that epicyclo, they would say mind your own business – you know what’s it’s like!

Thanks doncorleoni but most would help out I think.

Fingers crossed he has an appointment, it is just the ‘meds talking’ and not dementia.

Off to bed and hopefully get a ride in the evening.

This neighbour, know anything about gold does he?

1700 Missus hangs up on me.
She’s not impressed as craves my attention and my doorbell just went off again. She goes berserk and refuses to take my call. Doghouse.

My spidey sense is tingling, time for another break up?

Hope not but she’s whinging he just wants attention.

She hates it if she thinks I’m wasting time and didn’t know about his meds.

And not a troll post.

Good neighbourly work Frankenstein.

She is a spinster aged around 90. He moved in about 5 years ago and introduced himself.

😯

Fair play Op. Karma will return your kindness & patience.
I live next door to 80 year old lady and help out when requested – the amount of times you have been asked is a bit extreme though.
It does sound like he needs help – Gp’s is the right place. From my experiences with my Grandad ,he started getting the fear of mortality and never wanted to be alone… it’s rubbish.

I don’t believe in Karma. I try to do the right thing not for what I get in return, karma sounds nice though!

The GP tested him, clean bill of health, alertness and response to questions better than my past students lol. WTH?

Took him for a blood test too.

I wasn’t impressed how he barged queues though!

Son didn’t get back to me either. Don’t think he cares unless it’s life threatening but everyone is busy with work these days.

GP thinks it’s either blood loss or just simple ageing. Doesn’t want to get social services just yet and asked me to keep an eye on him?!

Dropped him off after losing my morning but hey it’s helps someone out and drove to another city’s hospital to visit my Mother who has a rare cancer in her bone marrow and was great to see her and my Dad, tried to cheer them up.

Enough is enough and I’ve done what I can but can’t waste more time – I have a life to live and an empire to build, plus my other half told me off and told me to get back to the living world. She’s right though.

Will have to say no next time if only keep my own insanity and get his son to pull his finger out and look after him.

Mate agreed with my mussus and thinks the old guy is fleecing me for attention and is mentally fine but lonely.

Hmmm. Thanks for the advice. Thread closed.

Well it’s been over 24hrs and no doorbell ringing.

And I owe it to Lewis Hamilton.

After a conversation about F1 and how he hated L.H. I stuck up for L.H. as his family know my cousin and I bought the family ice cream way before famous days.

There was literally silence and I left with door slammed in my face.

So there you go. Without being mean, find done one they hate, tell them you love it and bingo you will be left alone. Saw him talking to the couple across the road who looked me for help as I drove off in victory!

Phew!

Frankenstein – Member
…The GP tested him, clean bill of health, alertness and response to questions better than my past students lol. WTH?…

The same happened with my F-in-L when he was first assessed. Somehow he managed to pull it all together at the assessment and put on his professional face. He was even able to do complex mental arithmetic.

But it was very temporary. It was like he ratcheted downwards. Plateau for a few weeks then wake up one morning with another capability gone, and repeat etc.

The frustration made him a wee bit aggressive and fearful.

His son needs to pull his finger out and take responsibility. Get the neighbours to ring him, maybe he’ll get the message when he hears it from yet another party.

I’ll keep a distant eye on him and get the other neighbours to do what you said.

I’m just relieved/selfish?

I’ve worked solidly with clients, tidied my office and house, tinkered with my bike and feel relaxed for now for being productive.

Result!

Frankenstein – Member
…I’m just relieved/selfish?…

You’re entitled to be both in this case.

Anything further you do should be only to facilitate his family caring for him.

Like the L.H. picture. Sorry about the grammar errors.

I hope his family will take care of him but his son would have taken him in that day, while his other son is in another country.

Spoke to my other neighbours, swapped experiences and numbers to keep an eye on him.

We’ve all agreed that he’s had bouts of confusion (when I was out visiting my Mother in hospital) he was knocking on people’s doors for help with the oven… Dementia.

That sort of ageing sucks. For someone to go from smart to confused shows us how fragile we really are and that there is very little care systems in place to look after everyone but close family.