We’ve lived in our house with the same neighbour for 8 years.

Recently our neighbour began acting towards us erratically, ranting, raving, calling me a liar.

After a while stewing I decided to turn the other cheek and do my best to just ignore her. Now …….

A year or so ago she had a tree fall on our fence effectively breaking it in half. Seemingly this was my problem to fix as it was my fence 😕 I repaired fence and moved on.

Now …. She has a young apple tree growing towards, in fact resting on our fence 🙄 it’s young enough that if it were staked it would grow upright and crucially away from our fence.

As it stands I think it’s broken one of the posts holding the panel in place from constantly knocking/resting on it.

I don’t doubt that this will again be my problem 😡

So given that trying to discuss things like this before with her results in her just walking away from the conversation what do I do?

Write to her? Send my wife round? Wee in her shoes?

I like the idea of recorded delivery that she’ll likely have to go to the PO to claim 😆

Don’t even get me started on her **** tortoise that’s trying to break through MY fence …. I kind of hope it does to see what our dogs would do to it 😈

I’ve been fair, pragmatic and calm with her so far but it’s so difficult to engage her in conversation 🙁

Have you considered moving? Or killing her and burying her in the garden? Or maybe just fixing the fence?

Get rid of the high fence and and start doing yoga in your garden wearing, well, the less the better.

Hey…. Mess that old crank up with a length of iron bar but leave the tortoise out of it…

Those guys are cool….

Seems a bit unfair to take it out on the tortoise

To be clear the tortoise wouldn’t come to any harm 😀

How come the gentle application of Bombers hasn’t been mentioned yet ?

I have some for sale if required.

Cut off any branch resting on / overhanging the fence and throw it back over..

I’m not able to offer any kind of practical advice.

But look at the positives. There is an apple tree and undoubtedly that means free apples at some point in the future.

And then you can make some apple pie. Result. 🙂

A supersoaker filled with weeskiller.

Oh, and cut the branches touching your fence.