Riding home last night (heading out of Edinburgh town) I cut up the Water of Leith on the CX bike. Old railway line and one bit you go through a tunnel under a hill – maybe 200 or 300m long and curved so you can’t see out either end.

I passed some yoof about a third of the way in – looking fairly harmless, mobile phone playing choonz and some bottles, and a carrier bag one of them is rummaging in. Speed up and get out the way.

Someone’s obviously been messing with fireworks (as I could smell them faintly in the air just before the tunnel), so I’m guessing that’s what is in the bag. Anyway get out the other end by Colinton Bridge Road and there is a huge BANG from the tunnel behind me. Nearly crap myself, and (after confirming I’ve not been shot and my tyres haven’t exploded) I get the hell out of there.

By the time I’m at the city bypass I’ve regained my composure and am thinking things through. Now Edinburgh Neds ain’t the smartest, and people that play with fireworks ain’t the smartest, so putting the two together isn’t going to end well. Presumably setting a banger off in a tunnel is going to be pretty loud (especially if I thought it was loud in the open a good distance away from the tunnel, so presumably there are 3 or 4 very deaf Neds – doubt they would have had time to leg it out the tunnel before their banger exploded.

So if you’re riding the WoL in the future and someone doesn’t hear your bell, this might be why 🙂

All neds should be strapped to fireworks and shot into the sky.
We can all clap and go “oohhh, aahhh” at the lovely blood red colours sparkling in the sky.
I can only dream…

hey mister ur a bawbag, how many geers ur bike goat 😆

For a minute there I thought that Ned’s Atomic Dustbin were performing at a fireworks display, which would be great!

Obviously this is childish and irresponsible but I’d love to fire some rockets down that tunnel

Do you you think it would have turned out different if you were on a hybrid or a city bike?

Yeah, cos I wouldn’t have been on the WoL at all. No place for slick tyres this time of year (apart from the tunnel, which is tarmaced).

S’good of them to tarmac the tunnel.

It’s a shame that the noise regs for fireworks have dummeddown the db count for instances like this.

You really don’t want to be coming to my bonfire party then. Stick a dozen pished up engineers together and a sack load of fireworks and things proceed a little outside of the boundaries described for safe fireworks display practice. Add a tattie cannon and things get quite interesting. We’ve got tracer tatties and delayed remote cluster technology dialled.

Kids in playing with Bangers shocker…

Seen a lot worse in the Alps at New Year (folk who should know better ‘hand firing’ rockets at each other across blocks of ski apartments)

Blimey, if you think that’s bad then avoid Lewes tomorrow night. It’s going to be mad as ever.

Obviously this is childish and irresponsible but I’d love to fire some rockets down that tunnel

You mean something like this?

Any phool know that all neds have PHd’s in “fireworks and pulling effortless wheelies”.

So if I walk through Oxgangs yelling for Shug, Coco and Stevie there will be 3 less answers ?

Last year a group of neds fired some rockets down kenmure st in Glasgow, aiming for me and my girlfriend cycling home. They missed us by about 5m and exploded under a car. Nearly wet myself, and I can tell you we pedalled like **** chris hoy the rest of the way home.

Stu, wasn’t you that fell of their CX bike last wednesday just past the tunnel was it?

hmmm, don’t think this is the right forum to be retelling my firework adventures when I were a lad…

I remember being with my mates about 14 years old and sticking a banger in a big fresh Alsation’s loaf on a street corner, lighting it and then legging it across the road to witness the carnage from a safe distance.
Or so i thought.
Ended up getting covered in sh!te, and even a bit of it landed on my lip.
I went home early that night, spitting all the way!

😆

Playing with fireworks is probably an important part of learning why safety warnings exist and learning you’re not indestructible (see also putting aerosols in fires, putting “empty” propane canisters on camping stoves) but even by Embra Ned standards I thought letting off a banger in a tunnel was quite daft.

Paul – not me, I’ve not fallen off my crosser round that way since I tried to ride some steps with one hand on the drops and one on the tops. For reasons I don’t need to go into, it didn’t end well.