My mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer today. She’s been sick off and on for the past month and had discomfort in her stomach and after tests the results came in today. To be honest after a conversation with her nurse a couple of weeks ago this was exactly the result I expect, no surprise but still a shock.

Anyway this isn’t about me I just want some advice really. My mum is 82 and apart from diabetes is pretty healthy, the consultant seems positive and we’re not sure yet what happens next but know chemotherapy then an op is on the cards.

So whats to be expected from chemo then? I know everyone is different but personal experience would be good.

I’m being positive and all that but deep down I know at her age shes unlikely to get through this.

Lost my mum to cancer, but she was only in her fifties. Chemo/radiotherapy is a lot better than it used to be, but is different for everyone. Be with her when she speaks to the docs – patients often only remember some of the detail. Wish I’d talked to my mum more.
All the best.

One thing that I got from taking my dad to his chemo was having my faith in humanity restored albeit for a short time. It was good to see that some people do still care about others. From my perspective it wasnt too traumatic, sitting in a comfortable room with a bunch of folk who were having a decent bit of banter whilst hooked upto a drip for a few hours.

There are so many variables on this that you really need to be asking the consultant those questions and as boxelder says it is often very difficult to remember all that has been said, even if you understand it.

I wish you both all the best and try and be +ve, it seems to help a lot.

Thanks folks. Yes I will speak to the consultant but there needs to be some meeting of docs to discuss my mums ‘case’ before we know anymore.

My father tolerated his chemo and radio therapy really well, very few side affects. He completely lost his sense of taste, which in the grand scheme of things was pretty minor. As you say everyone is different, and we often go into things thinking the worst.

One thing you can expect is good advice and support from McMillan CS and the likes.

All the best.

I really feel for you. I lost my mum to cancer just before Christmas. The important thing to remember is that you haven’t lost your mum yet and she is going to need you to help her through this.

Like Boxelder says; make sure you are there to speak to the consultants whenever they have something to say to your mum. They are there to help and will understand why you want to hear what they have to say. Take a notebook and keep a record of what is said about treatment and the prognosis, it will help.

Also, try to speak to a Macmillan nurse (the hospital should have one in residence) and check out the Macmillan website. There is a huge support network out there that you will be able to tap into and get information from.

Plan ahead for when your mum comes out of hospital. Think about where she will be living and what support she will need. If the course of chemo she will be on is going to be aggresive you may need to arrange for help for her at home or even have her live with you for a bit. It sounds drastic but right now what your mum probably wants more than anything is to know that she will be looked after and you need to consider all of the options. Even if planning ahead for this seems perverse at such a time it will give your mum something positive to aim for.

Above all, try to stay positive, accept the support of others and try to make sure life for your mum at hospital and at home is as comfortable as possible. When my mum was diagnosed I knew that the big issues were out of my hands but I was still able to make sure the little things worked out alright.

All the best.

Might be worth looking here, its a long thread though

http://bbs.scoobynet.com/non-scooby-related-4/667249-mum-just-dropped-a-bombshell-found-a-lump.html

but deep down I know at her age shes unlikely to get through this

On the contrary, I would have thought that her age will work in her favour. My understanding is that cancer tends to be less aggressive and grows at a much slower rate in elderly people. If the consultant seems positive then that’s got to be a good sign – he/she is unlikely to encourage false hopes.

I’m in a similar position to you – my mother told us at the beginning of December that she had been diagnosed with bowel cancer. A couple of days before Christmas she and my dad told us that there are fairly well-developed secondaries, and two tumours on her liver that are currently inoperable. We’ve been told that the initial prognosis was anything from 3 months to 5 years, and we probably won’t know much more until the 3 months are up (along with the first course of chemo).

She’s been on chemo since a couple of days after she was diagnosed, and all I can really say is forget the stereotypes – all the things you think of as being guaranteed with chemo may or may not happen. My mother is on fortnightly sessions, with one major hit of IV drugs every other Friday, then a tapering list of pills for about 10 days and a couple of days off. The IV drugs seem to make her a bit hyper for about 12 hours, then she calms down and sleeps for a few hours, and is mostly OK. She hasn’t lost her hair, even though one of the first things the cancer nurses did was send her to get a wig (which didn’t fit – the wigs were all too small for her!) and she’s not had too many problems with nausea – she did at first, but then they found some drugs which dealt with it. She’s cancelled one or two trips to London, but still goes out to see friends locally, and claims to feel fine most of the time.

We only found out she had cancer because of the NHS screening program; she’s pretty much symptom-free, so it’s a bit different to your situation, but the things I would say are:
Be prepared for her not to want to let you see the bad times – she’s your mother and may still want to protect you. If that’s the way she feels, you have to respect it, however hard it seems. It’s only thanks to a patient my mother met when she went for her first scan that she decided to tell us anything at all, and my brother and I are both mid-thirties…
If she does want you to go to treatment sessions or meetings with the consultant with her, work out in advance what kind of questions you want to ask. If she’s having tests, ask what the results will mean when she has the tests, not when you get the results. And don’t take a laptop when she’s having treatment – my mother was complaining that most of the males accompanying patients had laptops and looked as if they were only there because they’d been forced to go!

The Macmillan website can be quite useful; the forums can be full of information, but there are also some very negative posters on there – a bit like this place, I guess! You soon get a feel for the ones who aren’t going to be particularly helpful, though.

If you want to PM me, stick a post on here, and I’ll let you have my email – I can’t help much except as a sympathetic ear, but I’m there if that would help.

Yeh her age seems to be a positive from what I’ve read and been told as cancer grows much more slowly in older people. To be honest it’s the effects of the chemo that are worrying me the most really. I think.

Cheers stealthcat. And once I get my head round things I might get in touch if you don’t mind.

My dad died 9 years ago and we have a very small family so just my sister and our partners to share the burden. Worst thing was telling our son tonight. That was hard.

Sorry to hear your news. All chemotherapy treatment is different but it’s come a long way over the years and not all treatments are as harsh as they were known to have been years ago. Your consultant should be able to help you, you should also be introduced to a nhs liason – not sure if shrink is the right term but mine was very helpful. look at site like cancerresearch etc to get a good understanding of what it’s about and what to expect. Should help you when it comes to asking question about operation and treatment and what to expect in the coming years.

I wish your mum the best of luck

Lost my mum to cancer when she was 36, I was 16. I’d always say be prepared that things will not go as you had hoped, better to start from a lower base and then when the positive news comes in it’s all the better.

I’m afraid I have a pretty dim view of cancer and prognisis as I am now 37, and of my once large family, I now only have my mums sister left, cancer got them all…

Gary – another sympathetic ear here. Dad died just over a year ago and Mum in September – both aged 85, both cancer. Funny thing is, my Mum was diagnosed years ago and had various medications to keep it at bay. Once Dad died, I don’t think she really cared any more. On the up-side, this probably proves that a positive mental attitude make a massive difference. Try to use, and build on, that for your Mum.

Oh – and don’t be afraid to lean on others,just as she’ll be leaning on you. This is when you find out what love, family and friendship really mean.

this is a good source for info on ovarian cancer. National Institutes for Health – what you need to know about ovarian cancer

As said above contact MacMillan and keep asking about having a MacMillan nurse visit, they will tell you what to expect much better than we could.

My mum has found her MacMillan nurse to be very good, very helpful, very kind and very considerate (lung cancer op over Christmas, about to start chemo)

First off, good luck to your Mum.

Secondly, like others here have said, contact Macmillan Nurses and also try Marie Curie. I deal with Nurses from both of these organisations quite often at work and it would be an understatement to say that they are absolutely fantastic. Always helpful and friendly. They’ll be able to tell you everything you need to know.

Always helpful and friendly.

Yep – that is exactly the impression I get. Been round to see mum loads recently and every time she needs to know something, every time I ask her a question, she just says ‘she’ll speak to Jane’ (the nurse). It sounds like she has been a real support for my mum – and my mum isn’t the sort of person to take to strangers easily.

BTW – my mum is actually quite well now ( 🙂 ) – took her out for a Chinese meal last night as her appetite has come back and wanted to have her have a nice night out before any fallout from the chemo drugs kick in.