McCanns: is this not ill-advised

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McCanns: is this not ill-advised

94 posts & 33 voices | Started 1 year ago by ditch_jockey | Latest reply from crankboy

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IdleJon - Member

I agree with geetee1972.

TandemJeremy - Member

iain1775 - Member

the world has changed, its not as safe as it was when I was a child

this is simply untrue. Its what the tabloids would have you believe but its not supported by anything factual

It still doesn't make it acceptable to leave your child unsupervised, TJ, but I don't think you are arguing that bit?

There seem to be quite a few people on here admitting to child neglect, which I find rather disturbing!

Anyone who has kids knows that they will make mistakes that put their kids' safety at risk to some extent or another.

Other than, for instance, banging my kids' heads on doors while swinging them around, I can't imagine putting my kids' safety at risk, and would be taking a long look at myself if I did.

Posted 1 year ago #
Junkyard - Member

Someone is surprised that someone who names himself after a convicted child sex abuser appears on this thread and makes a distasteful joke.
Gary we could easily explain why a kidnapped child is unhappy to be taken,aginst her will , from her parents and possibly killed/harmed abused if you really need us to but no one is that dumb not even you.
As for her mother being unhappy she has lost her child and does not know what has happened how happy should she look ?

Posted 1 year ago #
Torminalis - Member

I can't imagine putting my kids' safety at risk, and would be taking a long look at myself if I did.

Is that not exactly what you do when you put them into a car? Of course you can drive extra carefully but there is nothing to say that someone else isn't just going to drive into you. It is not black and white, risk is a scale and to say that your kids will never be put at risk is pretty naive. Moralising about those who accept this fact even moreso.

Posted 1 year ago #
IdleJon - Member

GrahamS - Member

Depending on what account you read the McCanns were 120m away eating at the tapas bar and frequently checked on their kids. No one would claim that was perfect parenting, especially in light of what happened, but it isn't that unusual, especially in a holiday situation where people's guard may be a little relaxed.

Why would you get more relaxed about child safety in an unfamiliar setting?

Posted 1 year ago #
geetee1972 - Member

I think, but could be wrong, that the statistics on child abduction/child murder are broadly static over the last 50 years or so.

Posted 1 year ago #
IdleJon - Member

Torminalis - Member

I can't imagine putting my kids' safety at risk, and would be taking a long look at myself if I did.

Is that not exactly what you do when you put them into a car? Of course you can drive extra carefully but there is nothing to say that someone else isn't just going to drive into you. It is not black and white, risk is a scale and to say that your kids will never be put at risk is pretty naive. Moralising about those who accept this fact even moreso.

You know exactly what types of risk we are talking about, Torminalis. You seem to be arguing for the sake of it, which is just as distasteful as GlitterGary's joke..

Posted 1 year ago #
geetee1972 - Member

Is that not exactly what you do when you put them into a car?

The scariest thing I've ever done was drive my wife and new born son home from hospital.

The whole way home I kept thinking 'who the **** ever thought that cars were a good idea?' Your persepctives change when you become a parent.

Of course I drive my son now. I couldn't function as a parent if I didn't.

Posted 1 year ago #
iain1775 - Member

Unless you were a child before records began then TJ can know, because less and less children are abducted each year. LOGIC FAIL.

I said the world was not as safe
I didnt say it wasnt as safe because of number of children abducted
there are many more things that affect how safe the world is for a small child than the likelyhood of being abducted
Not all are recorded in crime figures either
For example I could happily play in the street as a child, I couldnt leave my child to play in the street, way too much traffic nowadays

And actually given the lobour government changed the way crime figures are reported, the 'records' are not exactly a like for like comparison are they?

As for comparing putting your kids in a car to leaving them unattended - what kind of supid comparison is that?
When I drive my daughter anywhere I strap her into the best car seat I could get and I take every precaution possible to ensure her safety. yes I cant account fot the actions of others but I have done everything in my power to reduce the risk of harm.... Hardly similar situation is it

Posted 1 year ago #
Junkyard - Member

jon that is a really loaded question and somehwat redundant Graham has already said you may be more relaxed when on holiday - the bit you emboldened. I guess he is saying on holiday you relax, do things you would not do at home. Butlins used to do a service where they would announce in the club where the crying children were so parents could return to them when I were a nipper sooth them and then carry on drinking. !!! That sort of trust or naivety is a thing of the past

Posted 1 year ago #
GrahamS - Member

Why would you get more relaxed about child safety in an unfamiliar setting?

Didn't say it was logical, but last time I looked most people go on holiday to relax a bit.

In a nice "safe" luxury hotel compound, surrounded by friends and other well-to-dos, chatting away, everyone in good spirits, on a warm relaxing evening, after a glass or two of Rioja - it could be all too easy to be lulled into thinking the kids are safe, they are only over there, we're checking on them and there are plenty of staff around.

Not sensible in hindsight, but there you go.

Posted 1 year ago #
Torminalis - Member

You know exactly what types of risk we are talking about, Torminalis. You seem to be arguing for the sake of it, which is just as distasteful as GlitterGary's joke.

Not quite sure how that works, I was just making a point about how in life, we are always subject to risk. The McCanns make a judgement about risk which they will regret for the rest of their lives but they are not the first and will certainly not be the last. Plenty of people take far higher risks and come out unscathed. Others do everything to minimise the risk but are very unlucky.

I also do not understand how my wishing to call to account the more judgemental and cruel posters is comparable in any way to making a joke about a dead/missing child. There are very few things that really mess with me but child abduction is one of them. There have been loads of people on this thread who have basically said they deserved it. Those are the people who are out of line, not me me old mucker.

Posted 1 year ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

And actually given the lobour government changed the way crime figures are reported, the 'records' are not exactly a like for like comparison are they?

Wrong again. Crime figures for the national crime survey are truly independent and a good comparison. They show offences against children are down dramatically.

You really need to stop believing the tabloids on this.

Posted 1 year ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

Torminalis. No one has said that.

They "don't deserve the public sympathy" is not the same as "they deserved to have their child abducted"

Posted 1 year ago #
toys19 - Member

You really need to stop believing the tabloids on ~~this~~ everything.

Fixed that.

PS I knew I'd find a chink, finally I can (slightly) disagree with you.

Posted 1 year ago #
IdleJon - Member

There are very few things that really mess with me but child abduction is one of them. There have been loads of people on this thread who have basically said they deserved it. Those are the people who are out of line, not me me old mucker.

That's fair enough, Torminalis. I can't sympathise with them, but they certainly didn't deserve it.

I get a little angry when people try to excuse the McCanns' behaviour by saying that everyone else does things like this. Most normal people don't.

Posted 1 year ago #
toys19 - Member

That's fair enough, Torminalis. I can't sympathise with them, but they certainly didn't deserve it.

I get a little angry when people try to excuse the McCanns' behaviour by saying that everyone else does things like this. Most normal people don't.

I wouldn't have done it, they did not deserve it, but I can still sympathise.

Posted 1 year ago #
iain1775 - Member

You really need to stop believing the tabloids on this

I havent read a newspaper in years TJ
and I certinaly don't generally believe the rubbish they write

I do however have a child.......

Posted 1 year ago #
Torminalis - Member

They "don't deserve the public sympathy" is not the same as "they deserved to have their child abducted"

Fair point, I can get a little steamed up on the subject because it freaks me out but nonetheless, what I intended to say was that there seem to be people on this thread who deem the McCanns culpable which to me is just horrible.

Posted 1 year ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

So where do you get your information that dangers for children are increased?

Posted 1 year ago #
toys19 - Member

So where do you get your information that dangers for children are increased?

Indeed?

Posted 1 year ago #
GrahamS - Member

I get a little angry when people try to excuse the McCanns' behaviour by saying that everyone else does things like this. Most normal people don't.

It's not uncommon in my experience - different lives I guess.

I would think that almost all cases of child abduction by a stranger have some aspect where the parents wish they had acted differently, even if it is just leaving your son for fleeting moment while you get your order from the butcher's shop (Denise Bulger) or letting her go with her friend to buy some sweets after a family barbeque (Soham).

Posted 1 year ago #
GrahamS - Member

They "don't deserve the public sympathy" is not the same as "they deserved to have their child abducted"

I just don't see that saying (paraphrasing) "they don't deserve any sympathy because they left their children alone" is that much different to saying they deserved it.

Both sound incredibly callous to me.

Posted 1 year ago #
crikey - Member

Hmmm, I'll tell you what, any lapses of taste on here are nothing compared to what's out there in internet land. I have no intention of kicking off any guilty/not guilty thing, but even a cursory look will reveal the extent to which the whole affair captured the imagination of a number of people.

Mobile phone records, accusations of paedophilia, it's all there conspiracy fans...

I remember commenting at the time about how the Mcanns use of the media was like riding a tiger....

Posted 1 year ago #
crankboy - Member

I don't think the Mcann's did anything particularly unusual. I suspect that many parent's are absolutely terrified for their children's safety and so when they read of this case seek to identify fault on the Mcann's part in order to convince themselves that this horror could not happen to them.

The truth is that such events are very very rare it is exceedingly unlikely that any child brought up in a healthy way could be entirely protected from abduction.

I would suggest that rather than trying to demonise two obviously loving parents energy would be better spent in identifying the causes of offending and trying to locate the child. It is as likely that she is still alive as it is that she is dead. Were I in the Mcann's shoes I would not stop until I had an answer and if I needed brass I would certainly sell the story.

I do agree that the use of the Media was like ridding a tiger but unfortunately the Tabloids will spin any response even a dignified silence any way they want to sell a story and blame those close to the victim is always good copy.

Posted 1 year ago #

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