We’re once again doing a guide for Mountain Mayhem this year and we’re after anyones tips for first timers (and of course, ‘Don’t do this’ horror stories 🙂

Post ’em here or email me if you want to keep it a surprise for the ex-teammates you’re going to slag off…

This year will be my 14th Mayhem…

Get into a routine. Lap, clean bike, eat, shower, rest in that order.

Bring a variety of cycling clothes – waterproofs, 3/4 shorts, lots of gloves and spare shoes/helmet if you have them.

Bring a social tent/gazebo, a table and some chairs.

Bring earplugs. They are a godsend.

Go for a massage about half way though. They’re amazing.

One of those £20 gas camping stoves and those little ciggy lighter fridges is a must.

A little whiteboard to keep track of lap times and eta is essential. Paper blows away.

You’ll be amazed how much you’ll eat. A bag of salted peanuts is a fantastic snack. I usually bring bananas, rice pudding, filled pasta, cereal, fresh coffee, ham, bread rolls, milk.

Take a big rolling water container.

Bring a loudhailer and fireworks. Oh no, don’t do that.

Don’t get your bike serviced just before the race, not ride it and then wonder why it doesn’t work properly.

Make sure your whole team is on the same page at the start.

Don’t crash. You’re doing 6 XC races in one go, so you’ll pick up a few knocks but try not to fall off.

Don’t, whatever you do, ride a unicycle. It stopped being funny in 2004.

GB

Don’t have a poo in the shower and pick it up and put it on the little soap tray.
Conversely –
Be quite careful before picking up what you might reasonably think is a piece of soap from the soap tray in the shower…

Bring some spares. There’s hasn’t been much available during the Wiggle years.
Baby wipes & alcohol gel are useful.
It’s only a bike race, try and enjoy it.
Lock your bike up when you aren’t using it.

The performance enhancing Stroud Brewery is about a 20min downhill cycle away. Open from 3pm on the Fri & Sat, nice pizza too. Buddings the pint.

For emergencies / spares = LBS are Noahs in Brimscombe, CyTec in Ebley, Black 8 in Woodchester, The Bike Works in South Woodchester, Delta in Dursley.

No need Querty! This year we have the Big Red Bus bar serving Stroud Brewery on site! Not sure what happened to Marc coming with Pizza! And BTW I have a goody bag for you still!!!

Fantastic pizza = http://www.fattoni.co.uk

You are not wrong Querty!

Hi Tang, Nice one. Looks like I may well be off around that time, I’ll pop in for a nosey. M

Expect to have your brain tell you that what you are doing is completely stupid and you’ll never do it again because everything hurts. Then, look at the people around you who look worse than you feel and realise its actually a load of fun

Never miss a changeover.
Eat lots.
Never miss a changeover.
If doing a 4x team then get your night routine sorted – ABABCDCD or AABBCCDD. We found too much pace drop-off on the 2nd lap, so prefer ABABCDCD.
Never miss a changeover.
Bring a notepad for laptimes and predicted changeovers. When you wake up after a 2hr sleep and you don’t know where you are, the notepad will keep you right.
Never miss a changeover.
Beers after!

Did I mention the changeovers? – Don’t miss those 😉

Bring food you are sure you will want to eat at 3am. It is more important that you eat something than it being a scientifically proven blend of whatever. I like Jaffa Cakes for this.

If you have spare wheels bring them with mud tyres already on them. not having to faff about with muddy tyres in the damp is a total win.

Showers are amazing. Things will almost always seem better after a shower.

Make sure you have a clear idea of when you need to be in the transition area in order to meet the next person out in your team. And then get there five minutes before that as no one liked to be standing about after a lap shouting for your team mate. Ideally agree where you will be standing too. For added bonus points know what they look like, are wearing, and what they are called.

Bring all the cycling clothes you have just in case.

And remember you won’t win, probably, so don’t take it too seriously 🙂

For added bonus points know what they look like, are wearing, and what they are called.

Ah yes, good point. To avoid all that difficult thought, bring a communal team changeover jacket. Something unique, bright and nasty on the eye.

Bring the warmest jacket you own, because waiting at changeover for an hour at 3am in the freezing cold isn’t pleasant. Especially when you notice that the person you are expecting to take over from is just down the the line from you and has been waiting two hours.

If racing “seriously” and team mates are doing double laps, then your next rider needs to pop by changeover for end of their first lap just in case of disaster. Especially important at night – In one year we watched both elite male and female leaders throw it away with broken lights / bikes during double lap stints.

Not as much fun now lights are more reliable – was much more amusing when Chipps had that Cateye Stadium HID light with will it / won’t it work when I flick the switch uncertainty 🙂

When riding solo, don’t bring lots of Cornish Pasties as your main energy supply! Not appetising at 2am.

When finished, don’t hang around long to use the loos. The horror of discovering all loos are locked one hour after the race turns into blind panic pretty quickly!

Never miss a changeover.

Something you need to get off your chest?

Beware what freebies you’re offered when tired. One of my teammates was very pleased to be stopped by a girl proffering a tray of gels to aid his recovery after a tough lap. He picked one in an appetising fruity colour and only after squirting it into his mouth did he link this lady to the event sponsor, Original Source shower gel.

Don’t go near the big house, they have guns. The small house has Mike Tindall in it, who has massive guns.
Don’t forget to secure your bikes/keep them safe when you’re not on them.
There was a gel/lube mix up, not nice.

Don’t drink your own piss*

*does not apply to Mike Tindall

Bring a big down jacket and salopettes. Yep, ski wear is a total win at a 24hr race.

Salopettes pull over cycling shoes and are warm, waterproof and comfortable.

The chain lube in energy gel packaging was priceless.

not mayhem but did my first 24 as a team this year.
Team of six, double laps lots of downtime.
Tents work
[url=https://flic.kr/p/rzvmdD]Guess where the tents came from[/url] by Mike Smith, on Flickr
Also make sure someone on your team works in the alcohol industry 😉
[url=https://flic.kr/p/rznGWh]The Setup[/url] by Mike Smith, on Flickr
Bring lights for the tent
[url=https://flic.kr/p/rznGQ5]Pre race Dinner[/url] by Mike Smith, on Flickr
Be creative on the food front

Bring all the bike clothes you own and all the gloves, change as often as you can, don’t hang round in sweaty bike gear.

The know your team mates thing 🙂 we had 2 drop ins at the last minute couldn’t remember their names and what their bikes looked like but hell we had a good time, also you can get few ciders in if your team is big enough and you do double laps 🙂

Lock your bike if leaving it-even for a moment. The pikeys will be in from Brizzle trawling the place at night. No one will look twice at someone pushing a bike into the back of a van at a bike race. Easy peazy.

Eat…. Lots… Especially when riding solo… And don’t go OTB’s in front of a sleep deprived solo and then get upset because he laughs at you…. Still laughing 12 months later…

Never miss a changeover.

Something you need to get off your chest?

Can you tell? 😉 . Done that once, still feel bad about it, and never happened again for many 24hr team races. I don’t really mind how fast team-mates ride, it is the disappointment in really burying yourself for a lap or 2 then finding no-one to hand over to that really grates.

Don’t bring just one flavour of SIS. I still can’t drink lemon and lime three years on.

Especially when you notice that the person you are expecting to take over from is just down the the line from you and has been waiting two hours

Yeah.. Always check the crowd of waiting riders for your teammates. Once stood for 90 mins in the middle of the night only to see the rider before the one I was waiting for come in after a 3 hour lap.

Mudguards may not look cool, may weigh a bit and you may get laughed at, but if the weather does look pants, and you are riding solo, nothing is more soul destroying than a soaked, grit infested, chafing ,muddy arse crack.

Oh, and peg your tent down properly in case the wind gets up…

Take random spares, like mech hangers etc. or put your faith in the bendability of aluminium to straighten it!

Do not use rear lights! They’re unbelievably annoying to anyone behind you and completely unnecessary – you can be seen from any angle by the million lumens from your multiple bar/helmet lights.

Agreed crazy-legs. The number of people I asked to turn them off. Some were OK with that, but some flatly refused to and got a bit arsey about it – weird!

Deck chair.
Bum cream.
Sense of humour.
Lots of clothes.
Watering can / portable bike washer.

Also…

DON’T GIVE UP!

Repeat

DON’T.
GIVE.
UP.

I jacked it in after 16 hours in 2004 and it still niggles me now. It is only 24 hours.

To quote Theodore Roosevelt

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Nicely said Harry.

Solo again for me this year.

Anyone know when the course map/profile will be up?

I’ve looked at their FB page and asked there but no response.

Pretty sure it was released much earlier than this for the last few years.

Cheers,

Andy

Have a fairly unique word or phrase that you shout when approaching changeover with a team mate. This lets them know you’re on your way in, as everyone looks the same, especially in the dark.

The word should be the same word regardless of the team mate you are handing over to (shouting the team mate’s name you are expecting to be there is not a guarantee that it’ll be the team mate you are expecting, plus lots of people have the same name).

If you choose to make your word or phrase offensive and/or humerous then all the better.

Always take a torch when you go for a shower & then ALWAYS check the showers before you strip off. Rather than stripping off & walking in blindly ………..
8yrs on & that memory of the sh1te smeared shower still haunts me & I still check any public shower before getting undressed to use it !

If you’re wearing a helmet light, try and remember to turn it off, or swing it away as you come into the pits for a changeover. It’s practically impossible to identify someone when you have a gazillion lumens dancing on your retina…