Have never derived any enjoyment from simply being on a bike. It’s all about fun for me, so I avoid roads and fireroads and dull pedally rides
My advice would be to try and tackle an obstacle or difficult section of trail that you would otherwise avoid. Session it over and over again and try not to be afraid. Other people have ridden it and not died in the process.
Once you’ve mastered it, it becomes a confidence ticket. Get another and another and another and another
When you know you can do stuff it becomes a driving force to get out there and do some more. You’ll forget about pedalling and seat height and handlebar width and rain etc it just doesn’t matter.
Good luck