My contribution:

It's when your back's against the wall and life looks like going down the pan, you find out who your real friends are…

What's yours?

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle – that's the thing.

Shit happens

talk carefully, walk quietly and carry a big stick

never use a self pleasurer designed for female use on your derrier they have an amazing propensity to go in and not come out!! 😯

the trip to A&E will be shameful 😳

Teeeeny bit too much info there thomthumb! 😯

butt pie? Paging simonfbarmes, to the thread, please…

I'm not sure I'd be posting that much info on a forum where I posted my name and email address TomThumb!

Actually, I probably wouldn;t post it at all (were it true about me which, clearly, it's not, honest).

when looking back over your life you regret the things you did not do more that you regret the things you did do [thomthumbs sceanrio is an exception to this rule]

Measure twice. Cut once.

Use the proper tools…

If you can't be good, be careful.

"Use the proper tools…"

a piece of advice TomThumb would do well to read.

Its better to be optimistic and occasional disappointed, than pessimistic and occasional proved right

f you can't be good, be careful.

And if you can't be careful, have fun! 😀

It is easier to do something and apologise for the consequences than it is to seek prior approval.

mtbfix – Member

It is easier to do something and apologise for the consequences than it is to seek prior approval.

That's VERY good. 😯

mtbfix – can't remember who said this but;

"As a child I used to pray to God every night for a new bicycle but I never got it so I stole one instead. I now pray for forgiveness"

a) There's always something round the corner.

b) If in doubt, do nowt (cf. thombthum)

If its moving and its not supposed to: Duct Tape
If its not moving, and its supposed to: WD40

Brute force: If its not working, your not using enough of it!

Here endeth the Lesson…. oh go on, one more.

Those who live by the sword will be shot by those who dont.

EVERYTHING you need to know about life can be found in Calvin and Hobbes by Bill… Waterhouse(iirc).. and that is a FACT!

It's when your back's against the wall and life looks like going down the pan, you find out who your real friends are…

Nearly there but for me this is more appropriate:

It's when your back's against the wall and life looks like going down the pan, you find out who your real friends are… It is then time to ditch the cynicism and replace with optimism.

I ain't going down to rock bottom again.

So it goes……

Do not leave your car key in your back pocket. You will sit down, open your car accidentally, and subsequently find it empty in the morning.

Lesson learned this very morning 😥

Be your own best friend. Rely on no one but yourself.

Be your own best friend. Rely on no one but yourself.

but expect to be let down occasionally…

Don't give up. Ever.

Use extra safe comdoms
Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. [variant of one above]
Life is full of woe, so make an effort to enjoy yourself
Car washing and other domestic duties are not hobbies
Love everyone equally
If you can afford wine, then drink wine
"Do nothing in haste; look well to each step; and from the beginning think what may be the end" – Whymper
Two wheels good

Knowing when to give up is a life skill.

I never understood this question "What do you want to be…?", because I am what I am – human. They should ask: "What do you want to do?". If "being" is anything to me, it is "doing". No?

live to ride….ride to live…

It's not the man in you life, it's the life in you man.

Do whatever you need to do now! I don't want to sit in my rocking chair in many years time and have regrets.

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."
'marty macfly'

"its not how old you are its HOW you are old.."

“Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.”

Never dance on the same day you woke up.

Seize the day, procrastination is the thief of time.
What will be will be.

“Choose not to be harmed and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed and you haven’t been.”

This is fine until you run into people who live by the motto "if it's still twitching, shoot it again". 😀

I'm wondering how many of these are what people think sound profound, as opposed to how many are the result of personal experience…

Glad you're still with us, petesgaff.

Mr Woppit – Member
I'm wondering how many of these are what people think sound profound, as opposed to how many are the result of personal experience…

Further to my previous post, I can confirm that it took me many years to realise that I was rarely inebriated enough to dance with any aplomb until after the witching hour.