Bit By A Badger.
I'm sure I've related this tale here before at some point, but in essence; met a guy in an Inverness pub whose arm looked like he'd stuck it in a mincing machine. He told me that he and his pal had been camping in local woods at night and selling Kleen-Eze products by day.
So one night they heard the most God-awful shrieking and eventually crept out of the tent to have a look. Turned out to be a badger caught in a trap. The guy tried to prise open the jaws of the trap but the ungrateful badger set aboot him.
This guy's arm really was a state and he reckoned all the damage had been done in under three seconds!