To return the dog egg that someone insists on leaving on my front lawn every morning by throwing it at them?

[Edit: Owner, not dog. Though I was rubbish at PE and there’s a good chance it might hit both. Or neither.]

[video]http://youtu.be/bqBaoslROgg[/video]

If i remember correctly, an assault occurs when someone fears the immediate use of violence. Battery is actually hitting them. So, if they see you throwing it, or even think you are going to throw it, you have assaulted them.

I don’t think so, it’s more like you’re returning their property. It’s not your fault if they can’t catch.

Yes, common assault.

Post it back with insufficient postage on it so they’ll have to pay to collect their own shit back. Also less likely to get you in the shit unless you’re careless putting it in the jiffy bag…

So ‘assisting’ a dog owner to eat his dog’s mess was overstepping the mark?

[wanders off quietly wondering what else I might have done in my younger, angrier days that wasn’t 100% kosher]

Rub it on the dog. He probably won’t mind, but the owner will then have the problem of washing him without stinking the house out. He’ll get the message.

Build up a collection, pile up on offenders doorstep, douse in lighter fuel, ignite & ring the doorbell, then sit back & watch them stamp out the fire.

I always thought it was when it was formed from the reaction of an acid with a base, with all or part of the hydrogen of the acid replaced with a metal or other cation.

Push it, along with a pint of fishing maggots, into the air intake grill below their car windscreen.

Do you know who is letting their dog do this and where live? If so what’s stopping you from going round and laying one out on their front lawn every morning?

What could possibly go wrong…

Just relocate it to their front lawn.

Yes it is assault .

Sorry pressed send too soon. It is assault see definition outlined above. The dog egg is trespass to your land and nuisance .
Having a regular poo deposier must be really shit but rather than behave in an entirely understandable but criminal way why not work out where he lives and invoice him for your time cleaning up his mess I’d want £50 a pop . then sue him in all claims court when it gets to a few hundred . yes small fee to pay but should wind the anti social git up no end and no physical or legal risk to you.

Or take a photo of them and report them to the council.

Dunno, but calling it a dog egg, should come with 5 year jail time.