Cougar’s Cracking Cold Cure (patent pending).
Take a glass or, if you’re feeling particularly out of it, a mug. Add the
following:
Lemon juice. The stuff cuts through phlegm like nothing else, so don’t be
shy with it, get about a tablespoon or two in there at least.
Honey. About a teaspoon, put a bit more in if you’re a lightweight when it
comes to the lemon juice. The honey takes the acidity off it, and is good for
the throat. If you don’t have any honey (I never seem to) then sugar’s fine.
A Lemsip Cold & Flu Max Strength sachet. Catchy name, I know, but full of
paracetemol, decongestant, and marrowbone jelly. Perhaps. But a bit light on
the most important ingredient, vitamin C. So, you also need…
A Redoxon tablet. Lemon works best, but are harder to find. These bad boys
contain 1000mg of Vitamin C! There are supermarket own-brand versions of these
which are cheaper but some of ’em are only 500mg, so read the label.
Add boiling water up to about 1/3 of a pint. It’ll go like something out
of a Jekyll & Hyde movie for a minute, when it calms down give it a good stir
and top it up if needs be. Remember this is medicine though, don’t go making a
quart of the stuff.
Retire to the boudoir, drink, sweat, feel better.
