[Closed] Irritating journalistic terms in cycling magazines.

'Murdered out' 🙄

Laterally stiff, vertically compliant.

Hideous term!

See also;
Swapped out
Colorway (sic)
Decals

tbh, pretty much all of it.

Laterally stiff, vertically compliant.

I read the Trail Bike of the year thread and the What MTB mag review of the Zesty and was somewhat confused by the term 'Handlestick'. Its stuff like this that made me stop my sub with them....

"[i]Weapon of choice[/i]" if it's only got one rear cog and you're riding it in an urban environment 🙄

My 2 favourites recently were in MBUK, I think.

"The 710mm bar is too narrow for trail use"
and
"The 2.3 Eskar comes up massive"- actually it comes up at almost exactly 2.3 inches. The other tyres in the test were undersized but they criticised the one that got it right for being too big.

beaker - Member

I read the Trail Bike of the year thread and the What MTB mag review of the Zesty and was somewhat confused by the term Handlestick'

I think that was supposed to be funny. They seem to have a few people trying to write jokes without really quite understanding what they are, the ride guides are full of them.

29

£2k = "astonishing VFM"

£3k - ripe for upgrading

I dunno...

It's a tough job conveying the subtleties of bike design with words, whilst selling ad space and magazines

Ride a jones bike and tell me vert compliance lateral rigidity are not real.

Frank Zappa whilst not a MBUK subscriber nailed it on the head....

“Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.”

What would you rather see: Chipps writing, or Chipps dancing?

With a clear connection to the trails hardpack loose float through with ability to squeeze every bit of forward speed eliminating slap and clatter. However excess dive and twang under braking come into effect when flicking it from feature to feature or blasted rocky sections. Pairing that against ultra-supple yet accurate and sustained flow when straight-lining wet farm help drivetrain insurance. I prefer some flinch and flex up front, rather than hunkering down and hammering or ploughing. This means your brain will be as tired as your legs trying to hold the wheels straight up loose (???)

The imminent arrival of the 650b-wheeled 29er version means the neutral but agile signature will gain a naturally more stable, surefooted stance for those who prefer less needy handling on this 26er.

I literally just pulled that all from 2 Bikeradar reviews. I should get back to work.

It's a tough job conveying the subtleties of bike design with words, whilst selling ad space

I don't like it when this gets trotted out as an excuse for poor content in magazines. you don't buy a magazine to be concerned about whether the publisher is turning a profit.

What would you rather see: Chipps writing, or Chipps dancing?

DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! DANCE! DANCE!.......

My bike corners like its on rails with its buttery smooth suspension.

Well according to the magazine review it does, I've only ever managed to corner it like I was riding round a 50p piece... 😉

"What would you rather see: Chipps writing, or Chipps dancing?"

The ideal compromise is Chipps writing and Mark break dancing 😉

I would like to see Chipps, doing an enterpretational freeform dance of how he feels the new Bronson performs in comparison to the Nomad

brakes - Member

you don't buy a magazine to be concerned about whether the publisher is turning a profit.

Well true. But I buy magazines I like and if they don't turn a profit they'll go out of business.

flossie, please write us a review of your bike, and let us all see how easy it is. You know, just to prove they're all inept and can't do the job their paid for...

"cut and paste" used to annoy me.

I stopped reading MBUK some years back when they went downhill orientated. They reviewed what was clearly an xc stem (with xc in the name) & concluded it was too light for serious DH use. Really??
Stopped reading MBR as every article was the same, you knew the layout & the conclusions before starting reading. Oh, and the fact that every other page was a Specialized advert & every test had a Specialized as the winner...even if the bike in question didn't actually suit the "category" they were testing.
I appreciate a tester needs to convey how a bike feels, but some of the terminology is cringe-worthy.

This is good though.

http://www.eyesdownfilms.tv/mbr-hardtail-of-the-year-test-2013/

amusing crash too 😉

That's writing for you. There are lots of words out there, but putting them together in a vaguely original order that conveys exactly what you're trying to say with some sort of economy and resonance isn't always that easy.

Bt then people also tend to get what the cliches mean, which saves time. I almost convulsed like an imploding paper bag the other week listening to someone telling his mates how a bike rode at a demo day. It was like listening to a magazine test made flesh: 'weapon', 'point and shoot', 'buttery smooth', 'deceptively fast', 'doesn't ride like a 30lb bike' all made an appearance.

It was brilliant. And it would never have happened without bike test cliches...

This is good though.

http://www.eyesdownfilms.tv/mbr-hardtail-of-the-year-test-2013/

amusing crash too

Good fun vid. Like that. 🙂

"Body English". Which I take to mean something along the lines of weighting the bike this way and that as you ride.

That for me is the absolute zenith of up-its-own-arse cycling mag terminology. It will never be surpassed.

You wonder how the likes of Hans Rey and Cedric Gracia manage, when they have Body English as a second language. Maybe Body French or Body German are better.

Here's Mark interpreting a bike from Interbike Dirt Demo 2011

Enjoy...

Smashing a trail, now that really bugs me

In defence of the bike journalists it's probably the sub-editors and editors who add the formulaic words to the original copy for inclusion in the published article 😉

and here's Chipps as requested

The only bike reviews I read nowadays are in the CTC rag. They seem relativly sensible, if occasonally over fixated on mud guard clearance and rack mounts.

If you clicked on this thread, which I can only assume you have, you should read this:

[url] http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.ch/2007/08/bsnyc-2008-dream-bike-shootout.html [/url]

i don't find the phrases used half as irritating as lazy people posting threads entitled "reccomend me **********" do some research and stop being so lazy!

message to one's self, get out of bed the other side tomorrow 😀

I need context for Chipp's dance 👿

He's interpreting the bike industry's dilemma in choosing a future wheel size

Body English is particularly bad...the person who came up with that needs beating!

The others are pretty silly, do people really refer to their bikes as a weapon? Or tell people how they railed a certain berm, smashed the trail, whilst steam rollering a rock garden, shredding the gnarr whilst noticing no flex / damping spiking?

It definitely seems to have got worse. Some of the stuff that Steve Jones wires about suspension in Dirt makes no sense whatsoever.

He's interpreting the bike industries dilemma in choosing a future wheel size

I had an incleing that may have been it, 9/10 😉

Laterally stiff, vertically compliant.

You've got a few hundred words at most to work with. And you expect the reviewer to waste them by saying [i]"the frame was very stiff in a side to side manner, especially while pedalling hard, yet it was remarkably comfortable in a vertical manner when riding over bumps"[/i].

Jargon is a byproduct of limited word counts and having to write the same old shit over and over again 😉

StefMcDef - Member
"Body English". Which I take to mean something along the lines of weighting the bike this way and that as you ride.

That for me is the absolute zenith of up-its-own-arse cycling mag terminology. It will never be surpassed.

The term "Body English" pre-dates mountain biking magazines though - it was used in the motorcycle trials context at least forty years ago.

All these crappy terms are a by product of limited intelligence, poor use of English, lazy writing.

If Ive paid to read something I want it perfect, not dumbed down.

If you write for a living, then you need to do it to a higher standard than your customers.

Laterally stiff, vertically compliant.

You've got a few hundred words at most to work with. And you expect the reviewer to waste them by saying "the frame was very stiff in a side to side manner, especially while pedalling hard, yet it was remarkably comfortable in a vertical manner when riding over bumps".

I think the point is, the term itself is meaningless bobbins - as a structure, a frame has both [b]an amount[/b] of lateral stiffness and [b]an amount[/b] of vertical compliance (you could equally talk about lateral compliance and vertical stiffness and that still tells me exactly the same amount of sweet-FA about the performance of the frame) - if you're not going to qualify that statement against something else (either hard numbers or qualitatively compare it against a similar product) then it's lazy writing (probably copied and pasted verbatum from the manufacturers hyperbole driven press release), a waste of paper and ink and - most importantly - a waste of my time.

It's 'cockpit' that's the one which winds me up most. An aircraft has a cockpit, a racing car has a cockpit. A cockpit is an enclosed compartment in which you sit, not a pair of handlebars. It's just journos trying to dress thing up and make them sound cool ie bull****!

they're called cockpits on planes with reference to the cramped holes in the ground used for cockfighting. so to refer to something on a bike as a cockpit means it is small and cramped.

I suppose it is tricky everyone knows the conclusion has been reached before the test bikes even arrive, but they still need to fill a page per bike with words, so resorting to cliches and buzz words often the way to go.

They're all as bad as each other...

I think some new cliches and buzzwords need introducing though, preferably offensive ones... they like a bit of light homophobia don't they, that's where the whole "Jey" thing came from innit?

Any suggestions?

Front centre, grates a bit

"Buttery". Journos can surely come up with another adjective to describe something that's smooth.

I sincerely hope that the folk at Rockshox are reading this...

My pet peeve at the moment is "Murdered Out". I hate this term. Hate it, hate it, hate it to the point where it's making me seriously question whether or not I want to buy anything made by SRAM again. It annoys me that much.

Also, I'd like anyone who uses the following terms to be taken outside and shot:

"Massive pivot bearings" - Define "massive"? The bearings on the propshaft of the USS Nimitz can justifiably be labelled "massive". The bearings on a Specialized Stumpjumper cannot.

"Colorway" (sic) - No. It's [i]colour scheme[/i] or livery if you wish. Again, usage of the term "colorway" in your marketing literature is likely to have me researching your competitors' products in next to no time.

Oh and while I'm at it, I'd prefer not to see the word "succulent" used to describe suspension. It sets off my ****iness detector every time.

to describe something that's smooth

plush? that's what I use.

some new cliches and buzzwords need introducing though, preferably offensive ones

steering as loose as cookeaa's mum?

Andy R - Member

StefMcDef - Member
"Body English". Which I take to mean something along the lines of weighting the bike this way and that as you ride.

That for me is the absolute zenith of up-its-own-arse cycling mag terminology. It will never be surpassed.

The term "Body English" pre-dates mountain biking magazines though - it was used in the motorcycle trials context at least forty years ago.

That can't be right. All the top boys on Kickstart were Belgian. Shouldn't it be Body Walloon ?! 😀

A few people have mentioned 'murdered out' but I've never seen it used in MTB circles. I must have my head in the sand.

I've only seen it used in terms of hotrods and modified cars. It means something that is absolutley, completely black with no colour anywhere. Hard to see how any bike components can be 'murdered out' when they're all dressed up like billboards. Surely they're just black with stickers on?

I agree that everything Steve Jones says is like hieroglyphics. I remember when Dirt had those tech articles by the bloke from K9 and he taught Steve Jones loads of new phrases like 'front centre' and 'kinematics' which then started appearing in every single bike review.

Doing our bit 🙂

[img] :large[/img]

Doing our bit

Damn, there goes my genius idea of testing different wheel sizes scientifically using Strava segments.

I was going to choose a 26", a 650b and a 29" steed from my quiver specifically for this task. May even have thrown a cyclocross bike in there too.

😉

Many articles seem badly written to appeal to young people who watch American tv and cycling dvd`s

A few people have mentioned 'murdered out' but I've never seen it used in MTB circles. I must have my head in the sand.

I've only seen it used in terms of hotrods and modified cars. It means something that is absolutley, completely black with no colour anywhere. Hard to see how any bike components can be 'murdered out' when they're all dressed up like billboards. Surely they're just black with stickers on?

The new Rockshox Pikes are all black and they use the phrase in their marketing spiel.

i liked the bikesnob link...
"descends like a monkey in a set of crampons being dropped from a helicopter, handles corners like a prostitute, and accelerates like a particle in a particle accelerator that itself is just a tiny particle in a giant particle accelerator"

I have no idea what the following mean in the context of riding a bicycle.

Pin.
Send.
Session.

Steed is also a bit "****ty".

"[i]Quiver[/i]" is awful.

and from the American forums: "[i]Pulled the trigger on...[/i]"

"Specialized xxxxxx - 10/10"

"Dialled". I hate that over-used word with a passion.

Along with "back in the day" - which day for God's sake?!!

Grrrrrrr!!

"Rocking up to Fort Bill"

Can't they just travel to Fort William?

Railed really riles.

Nice bit of ulliteration there.

And, why does every bike reviewd by a certain magazine (obviously not ST) magically undergo a transformation as soon as it is fitted with a stem 20mm shorter than the one it came fitted with?

Stopped buying any magazines eons ago when I came to the conclusion that I was being sold at rather than being informed.

But 'Railing berms' makes my skin crawl.

'Head Honcho' whenever a certain bike manufacturer got a mention.

I like 'railed' - it's literal, not ****y imagery.

Sorry Brakes, but the whole thing that irritates [i]me[/i] about railed is that it is not literal. There are no rails on any of the routes that I ride.

Not cycling journalism specific, but "ticks all the boxes"

Steed is also a bit "****ty".

+1 along with referring to a bike as [i]she[/i].

Awful, just awful.

After a hard day at work murdering people, I feel all murdered out.

sessioning - taking it way to seriously

Sessioning... Thing is, there's not really a quick way to say it otherwise, so it's pretty functional. Can't disapprove of that myself.

'Murdered out' will soon be replaced by 'saving your furnishings' (same thing). An equally pointless use of English. (Yes, I did make that up, no I'm not a journalist - though I see how easy it could be..) 😉

It all adds colour, I don't want to buy a mag which reads like a technical manual. Maybe it's not the terms, it's the consistent use of them that has everyone vertically compliant with rage. More variety perhaps?

Not cycling journalism specific, but "ticks all the boxes"

Again quite a useful phrase. What do you prefer - 'satisfies all the criteria'?

Some of you need to chillax. 😉

andeh - Member

It all adds colour,

Murdering out doesn't!

I like 'railed' too.

I believe it refers to the action of going round the corner like you are on rails. Proverbially, of course. 😉

Murdering out doesn't!

ZING! 😀

'sessioning' is the one word that boils my wee. As far as I can make out it means 'practice'. Makes it sound like you're crap at a particular part of a ride so you have to do it over & over & over & over & over & over.
Again.

'Body English' however I can see. It's been used for years in motorcycle trials. It's just another phrase for 'body lean'. Early British trials riders took to body lean to control balance/steering/weight distribution for grip etc.
I will witness loads of riders demonstrating 'body English' at the SSDT next weekend, Including Steve Peat!

I've hated the word 'steed' for years.

The last mountain bike magazine I actually bought was about 5 years ago.

I noticed all of the UK magazines recycling articles in about 1993...

MBUK and their 'amusing' articles on:
1. cycling underwater
2. cycling out of an aircraft
3. cycling somewhere equally stupid and pointless
4. ad nauseam...

'Wrecking Crew' - nicked from Mountain Bike Action as most of the other made up terminology was in the early days and that grew out of the MX scene so the language is from 'dudes' who liked to 'rail', use 'body english' while 'throttle twisting' in sunny SoCal. Rad.

'Stiction' is useful though. Static Friction. Mountain bike journalists are 'Stunts'. Stupid C(that's enough - Ed)

Flossie and I have just been out shredding the gnarly trails round Macclesfield Forest with the wrecking crew!
Shreddin', diallin', and railin'.....
😛

like a naff joke, I still can't expel "descends with the precision-forged accuracy of an exocet missile" (MBUK 1993) from my consciousness. 😕

I still can't believe that so few of the truly great novelists have written about mountain bikes. I guess it's because the audience is so bloody demanding.

"Railin ruts and bangin sluts" really gets my goat.