A quality rant, thats for sure. If I might pick you up on one small point:

Last week saw the Grief Express roll into Liverpool

The International Centre for Perpetual Grief IS Liverpool. Its the Death Star of Unfocused Woe. A ‘Grief Express’ rolling into that lot might form a sort of nuclear scale critical mass of wailing, causing a tsunami of crocodile tears to engulf the entire north of England

For Gods sake will someone think of the children!!

what about everyone who lives north of south oxfordshire?

mighty flammable…

Best rant on here for a while. You dare to write what others only dare to think!

9.9/10.

Might need to change your username to MayorBorisOfLondon though.

I thought cael was a form of the Welsh verb “to have”

as in

cael hwyl – to have fun

Phil, for god’s sake. I live in West Oxfordshire!

Damn you!

Also should we ban evertyhing that injures a child?

Yes, if it’s risky and blatantly stupid and pointless otherwise. Or at least we should educate people (remember fireworks?)

The verb ‘cael’ is used in at least three different ways in Welsh

(a) To convey ‘to have’, ‘to receive’, ‘to get’

(b) Used as an auxillary with another verb to form the Passive Pattern

(c) Used as an auxillary – immediately next to another verb – to convey
‘to be allowed to’

We live opposite the park. Chinese new year and a huge(50+) group of Chinese folk arrive at sundown, but don’t venture more than twenty yards into the park before they let them off. Four in the front garden, three in the back, one on the bay window roof and six in the trees in the front garden. Most in the trees lining the road, stopping traffic. Oh and not one of the wrappers binned, all left on the field. Grrr. Big scorch marks where the hot oil has emptied. Can’t have been as much as one in five properly in the sky, but if they’d walked another fifty yards into the field most would have got up ok.

Molgrips, you forgot this one…

Oi, Cael, come an get yer tea.
– Hey, my illegitimate offspring that I named after the daytime TV host that kindly arranged your paternity test (but I changed the spellin, to sound, yer know, more sophistemicated like), your dinner is served.

So that’ll be the same farmers who resisted the implementation of the EU Waste Directive for years and years?

The same farmers quite happy to dump rusting machinery, unidentifiable sharp implements, broken barbed wire, the smoking remains of plastic sheeting, tins of half-used paint and nasty chemicals chemicals etc etc..

Er… No Andy, it won’t.

Would invading China be a solution? Or bombing Liverpool? Or the other way round? Or both? And why did someone bring the Welsh into it? Should we bomb them? Or invade them? Or just leave them alone?

I’m confused now 🙁

The Welsh are bombing themselves with Chinese armaments. It’s kinda like that film, Pwllheli Harbour.

🙂 Shib

However in order to get Cael to sound like Kyle you do actually have to know a bit of Welsh pronunciation, which is more than most English people can be bothered with, Chav or otherwise. Most people will come out with Kale or Ki-el probably.

More of an educated guess than any specific knowledge of the Welsh language. Don’t get me started on the Welsh language by the way, it’s just childish. 😉

Holy shit, this time is *was* a childs face! Woah!

Tip – you should come up with a different line of gags than taking the piss out of Welsh. People’ve been doing it since Tudor times, it gets really old and makes you look stupid and like Anne Robinson.

Crikey! That time it was a childs face!

(Apologises, but someone had to say it)

Dammit! That’s not funny!

(But only cos I went to play football and missed saying it)

molgrips – Member
it gets really old and makes you look stupid and like Anne Robinson.

How can anyone who comes up with a pun (or pwn) of the quality of “Pwllheli Harbour” be viewed as stupid as Anne Robinson?? C’mon, credit where credit’s due…

Ok fair play, Pwllheli Harbour was okay. Not as good as Pyle Harbour would have been though (it’s near Bridgend).

I opted for the more Welsh-sounding place for comedic effect, honest, and they hailed from North Wales.