It’s ok to decide you don’t want to associate with people who don’t fit your outlook on life. It can be scary the first time you leave the apparent safety of a group you spent a lot of time with.

I haven’t read all the posts.

Move on. Some of the smarter ones may follow you. The rest, well you can find better mates.

call a meeting, explain how you feel, and how it was unacceptable. Don’t get angry. That way the air will clear and you’ll sort out who is who.

*unts

Serious job, serious implications, some things you don’t **** about with.

If we had a shout and i was that last crew member needed to launch and there was a fatality because of the delay in launch and i thought it was my own fault in loosing the pager the guilt would stay with me the rest of my life!

what they did is cntish. but they are probably not mature enough to realise or not big enough to own up if they do. to some extent it comes with the age.

[bcall a meeting, [/b]explain how you feel, and how it was unacceptable. Don’t get angry. That way the air will clear and you’ll sort out who is who.

They are bunch of teenage mates, not the Board of Directors of an Insurance Company.

If, if, if…

**** i had this happen with my work phone not in the serios work like yourself but that was a big no no,freinds are good and all but when it effects your life then its time to find better mates and get to the next step in life.

Clearly they don’t understand how serious and important being a member of a lifeboat crew is. Your obviously more mature than they are (if they’re not on the boat themselves)
Being on a crew is a job for a responsible individual. Sounds like your better off without them, you can get your own kids your don’t need friends acting like them too.
Your marking a line in the sand to them that they’re actions could, as you say, have costs lives and they clearly do not understand that.
Stick with what got you the job on the crew, maturity – Sod the kids till they grow up.

Been there, its a sign. If they were being more overt about it they would tell you to piss off.

I recently experienced a different issue that you with the same outcome.

At the end of the day you have to decide whether you have overreacted, and whether you are happy with the outcome, whether the issue is in your head, or thiers.

In my case I’m confident that 50% of the issues were in my head, but even with such a self admission I decided I didn’t want to socialise with a group I was uncomfortable with as they weren’t going to change thier behviours to suit me – why would they. It nvolved biking and that time is important to me.

Like you, I may have overreacted but I’m more comfortable without them that I am with them.

I haven’t read the above but in my mind I think you should discuss the issue, admit you reacted strongly and explain the importance of your pager due to your role. If they can’t respect that, walk away and find some new mates, but dont beat yourself up over it.

It’s a squabble. You’re not in a predicament and you don’t need serious help.
There are threads not far from here where your thread title would actually be appropriate.

If we had a shout and i was that last crew member needed to launch and there was a fatality because of the delay in launch and i thought it was my own fault in loosing the pager the guilt would stay with me the rest of my life!

If there had been a shout and you had been that last crew, unable to respond and unaware of the situation, they would have been complicit for any injuries or deaths that would have occurred.

Move on. If you have the balls to work on the lifeboats at 20 and they haven’t got the stones to own up to a prank, they’re not worth any more oxygen.

A few thoughts:
20 is still pretty young and plenty of people are immature at that age.
Whilst I think what they did was poor behaviour, they may well not have thought through the implications to you or anyone else, and if it was a group, maybe one person led it and the others went along cos they didn’t want to be seen to be too serious/not up for a laugh.
Being values-led and wanting to do stuff for other people can make other people feel inadequate so you may find you get little attacks from other people as a result…

I wouldn’t expect them to know how you feel about it by mind reading tho. Talk to them individually and see what response you get. Those who show understanding and apologise, they’re probably your friends. Some you;ll realise from their reaction are maybe people you want to see less of..

I had a few friends from university who I stayed friends with for nearly 20 years after, but I always had issues about just how good their friendship was. I walked away eventually, and it was one of the best things I ever did. You don’t want immature, uncaring, selfish people in your life…

Fcj, you have bigger balls than I have, my friend! I know what’s involved with Lifeboats, and how easy it is for a boat to be lost, with the enormous impact it has on the local community.
The fact that the RNLI is entirely funded by public contribution, and the boats are manned by volunteers, makes everyone involved heroes to my mind. Anyone who is prepared to put his own life in jeopardy in order to save that of a complete stranger, for no reward other than a thank you, really is a hero. I couldn’t do it, I know I couldn’t, and my respect for those that do is immense.
That these ‘friends’ of yours fail to understand just how important what you do is, shows how immature they are, and they are no loss to you.
I work for a company that’s involved in fundraising for the RNLI, I know the cost of replacing items of equipment for the crews, and I know how much the British public raise each year just through the raffle; it’s a highly respected organisation, and these jokers show it no respect at all.
I only hope that one day, they get into trouble and need a Lifeboat, then you can quietly say that they nearly didn’t get rescued because someone’s pager was taken…

I clicked on this not knowing what to expect. but asking a forum of people this question!? mate, its one you’ve got to make yourself, and also one you probably already know the answer to. no-one here is going to be able to tell you one way or another, theyre you’re friends, or not as the case may be.

wish you the best of luck with your decision.

I’m highly disappointed to scroll through this whole thread without any photoshopped pics yet. 🙂

I have a mate who is a lifeboat man, at Gravesend on the Thames.
If someone did that to him he would ‘go Postal’ and start throwing people through windows.

He is normally Mr Passive but he takes the RNLI very seriously (and quite rightly so)

If they are actually worth hanging on to, I’d have sensible chat with your ‘mates’ and explain why it was not on…

Can i just say im not RNLI, our station is independant

Youhave out grown your friends, you do something they don’t understand and which is outside their “norm”. A dominant person in the group clearly doesn’t like you and is acting as a typical bully hence the wall of silence.

The bond you have with the boat crew is deeper than anything you will get with the group. However you need to make the decision yourself on what to do with the collection of “friends”. Personally I think you have outgrown them.

As above. Without meaning to be patronising, you can easily outgrow friends you make earlier in life. And you grow into others. Now I’d have very little to say to my best mates when at school.

Especially when you start new things in life. Those are the times you grow and change. It could be university, or a new job or something – you get to know different people with a different outlook on life, and you get introduced to new stuff.

A prank like that was pretty stupid, but we all make mistakes. 1) they didn’t realise how bad it was after you told them, and 2) they could see you were upset and no-one apologised by the look of it.

Both those things make them sound like **** to me, rather than the original joke.

People your age do daft things without thinking of the consequences. Normally no big deal and it’s part of the learning curve but………

have asked for a donation towards the lifeboat, but every one has refused stating they wernt involved.

come to think of it they did always take the mickey that I did it for freeThat tells me it’s time to move on!