Richie: [Reading a piece of paper, given to him by Eddie as a birthday present] “Madame Swish, 3:30”. Oh Eddie, you haven’t! Oh, what a pal you are! Madame Swish! Ooh! Aah! God, at last, I’m really gonna do it! And on my birthday as well!
[Sniffs paper]
Richie: Ooh! I wonder what she’s like!
Eddie: She’s a dead Cert, mate. A real stayer.
Richie: Really?
Eddie: Yeah, she’ll come first.
Richie: What, before me? Good grief, that’s quick! So she’ll think I’m great! Oh what a pal you are! And it’s all paid for?
Eddie: Um, not exactly, I’ll need a tenner.
Richie: A tenner? Right. That’s quite cheap, isn’t it?
Eddie: Um, well, no. In that case, it’s a tenner each way.
Richie: [Surprised] Well, how many ways are there?
Eddie: Well, you’ll come first, second, or third, won’t you?
Richie: [Aghast] Well, how many people are gonna be there?
Eddie: Well, a few thousand.
Richie: [Yells] What?
Eddie: Well, it’s Kempton!
Richie: Kempton? I can’t get down to Kempton by 3:30!
Eddie: You don’t have to, mate! It’ll be on the telly!
Richie: [Terrified] They’re gonna televise it? What if my auntie’s watching?
Eddie: Well, what’s illegal about betting on a horse?
Eddie: [shouting] A horse?
Eddie: Yeah!
Richie: [shouting] Madame Swish is… is a horse?
Eddie: Yeah! Well, what d’you think it was?
Richie: [Disappointed] Oh no, nothing, nothing. I was just checking.
Eddie: I have given you a red hot tip!
Richie: [shouting] I know, and there’s nothing I can do about it now, is there?