Armitage Shanks
{add your own smutty rhyme – but don't post it here- Mod}

not my type of poem
sorry

More like an advertising ditty.
but not bad

I've been working on it for 20 years or so. I just can't seem to work 'puke' into it and still have it scan.

Not since reading Tintern Abbey have I been so moved.

Dorset_Knob for Poet Laureate!

since we're getting all Andrew Motion in here then, Haikus from everyone
(three lines: 5 syllables, 7, then another 5)

Ill start:

A Rohloff out back
And a twist not a trigger
A bit heavy mind.

one has to question why you're **** into the bog and not your tossing-sock though 🙂

Public lav wall poetry:

Here I sit, broken hearted.
Paid 20p, and only farted.

A poem came to me in a dream once.

Jesus made
loaves and fishes

But who was it
that did the dishes?

I though a Haiku had to also include a reference to the season or weather?

Darn Summer, still rains
New bike smiles willingly and
I pleasure myself
ITMC

Old wishbone design
Unfashionable headset
Still my favourite

Shouldn't they be in the other forum though?

There is no Art Forum.

and ****

is your computer screen located above your toilet bowl?

one has to question why you're **** into the bog and not your tossing-sock though

my thoughts exactly, even a tissue has be better than having a bit of ceramic by the laptop?

roper – Member

I though a Haiku had to also include a reference to the season or weather?

Correct IIRC and there is various forms so the 5 / 7 / 5 syllable thing is not cast in iron and the syllable count varies as you translate it.

Limerick is a better form for this sort of thing.

Anyway

spring is here
to ride feels good now
soon winter arrive

Or

There was an STWite
Who's limericks were never right
They didn't scan
But he ate loads of bran
so he was full of that wondrous amazing superb and superfluous shite

Can you tell I've been drinking?

here's something i wrote a few years ago:-"the devil wears dark shades" from route 66 he walked.a man alone.unknown.tumbleweed,moves out of his way.the desert plays misty with the halos in his eyes.black leather jacket,worn by time.sits at the bar,bottle of jack.lights a marlboro,knuckle crack.where you headin',where you from?no answer.a wry smile breaks his lips.radio song.2 more bodies found today!!!that makes 23.what's the world coming to mister?he will never know!!! 😈

This is what i wrote on my "plead guilty by post" form when caught doing 99mph on the motorway. It would have been read out in court. My mate who works in a court advised me not to go for the usual bullshine but to make them laugh. Anyway:

There was a young man from Leith way
Who drove down to England one day
A speed camera he passed
Driving far far too fast
Now he's sorry and he's going to pay.

I got a light fine and low points.

p.s i'm not deranged,i had just been watching the hitcher,with rutger hauer,my favourite horror film!!!

why write bike haiku?
perhaps your bike got stolen
at poetry class?

I started my life on a trike
Every so often i go for a hike
If i need to travel far
I'll probably go in my car
but I still much prefer my bike.

I've got a bike.
You can ride it if you like.
It's got a basket, a bell
and bits to make it look good.

I wrote a poem in honour of the bloke who is making a retirement collection.

Oh Jim,
Oh Jim,
Just **** off with your collection box,
She’s not **** here,
Oh Jim.

It wasn't smutty. More scatological. What would you expect?