Nah you'd hate it down here mate, I'd stay in Swindon if I was you 😉
We've got nothing down here to rival the trails in the woods behind the Nationwide you have up there & everyone knows it's as flat as a pancake in Kernow.
Don't get sucked in by all that Doc Martin crap on the telly, it's so bad down here we've even got to charge people leaving Cornwall on the Tamar Bridge – we do let them in for free tho.
All the barns have already been done up & sold to the Chelsea tractor brigade, all the spare plots of land have been turned over to growing pasties courtesy of the EU CAP & hot tubs are now banned on H & S grounds, can't have people bathing outdoors down here.
Finally sorry to disappoint you but all the cannons have been melted down to make Orange P7's. If I can be of anymore assistance please let me know 'moi ansome' 😛