On a dark and cold night, in a lonely empty pub, the landlord is beginning to realise that as a business, his pub is failing. There may be many reasons for it, but whatever they are, there are just not enough customers spending money to justify not selling out to Starbucks.
When..
..the door opens, and in hops a white rabbit.
It hops up to a bar stools watched by the landlord and both the customers, and climbs onto the stool. Rabbits are unusual in pubs, unless contributing to the stew, so the landlord just stood and gaped.
“Excuse me” asked the rabbit, “are you serving?”
Talking rabbits are even rarer, but the landlord replied that he was.
The rabbit asked for a drink and something to eat
Asked what he wanted to drink he asked for a ginger beer and lime, and to eat a toasty.
“We have cheese and onion or cheese and ham, which would you prefer?”
“Cheese and onion, rabbits are vegetarian” replied the rabbit. Whose name was Rabbie. Not that it’s relevant. So Rabbie the Rabbit got his non-alcoholic beverage and non-carnivorous snack, consumed them both and left.
Meanwhile, the atmosphere was nearly electric, a talking rabbit, in the pub, eating a toasty and manipulating a glass filled with liquid. Amazing.
Next night, the few people who seen this had told their friends, so there was a fair old buzz when, at the same time as last night Rabbie turned up, climbed onto his barstool and ordered a ginger beer and lime and a cheese and onion toasty.
And even more so the next night.
And so on for a week, every night, more people, drinking more drink, spending more money came to watch the amazing ginger-beer drinking, toasty eating, talking rabbit. There was even a bit more excitement when one night the landlord apologised for having run out of onion for the cheese and onion toasty and offered a cheese and ham one instead. The crowd held it’s collective breath. Would the rabbit accept the substitute, or storm off in a huff. Reluctantly the rabbit accepted.
By now, it was quite a celebrity, so the next night local media turned up and waited to see the amazing ginger-beer drinking, toasty eating, talking rabbit.
And waited.
And waited.
And then went home disappointed.
A few months later, the fuss had died down and the landlord was unable to keep the pub open any more, and on the last night, above the barstool where the rabbit had sat, there was an eerie white shimmering light. Shaped like a rabbit.
The landlord gaped and approached the rabbit shaped figure.
“You” squeaked the figure in a voice a bit like the rabbit’s but with a bit more bass and some added echo for atmosphere “You killed me”
the landlord trembled “how could I have killed you, and why? You were saving my pub, what did you die of?”
The eerie glow stared at the landlord and replied
“Mixed-mah-toasties”