Would it be best to eat the fat people first or the skinny lean ones.. Just wondering how how cake to eat today?

locking yourself in to eating rice and beans for the rest of your life.

Now we know what the vegans are plotting.

Would it be best to eat the fat people first or the skinny lean ones

Skinny first. If you ate the fatties first it’ll take longer and the skinnies will have starved to death. Useful for soup i guess. Having a reserve of fat would give a longer ‘best before’ date i’d have thought

The zombie apocalypse has already happened.

i know this’ll get me written off as another chewk-bot, but look around you, zombies, zombies everywhere!

I can’t cope with a power cut never mind end of civilization. 😯
I do have a copy of lofty Wisemans SAS survival guide though, so when the end of the world comes you will find me sitting quietly in a corner reading.

When it happens I’ll probably step back into my spaceship, retreat to the moon and watch it all play out over a can or two of Special Brew, Penderecki on the stereo.

I read an SAS survival book once.
Unfortunately all I can remember is the section on testicles: “grab, twist, pull!” So basically I’m gonna have to survive on a diet of rocky mountain oysters. On the upside, I think that’s iDave compatible

I suspect as far as “fall of civilisation” goes we’re more exposed today than we have been for most of advanced civilisation. Very specialised, very infrastructure dependent, very long supply chains with lots of just-in-time for critical supplies, and a lot of people crowded together which is bad in all sorts of ways. The systems we have in place to run the world are phenomenal but so interdependant, and existing in some very stressed systems that aren’t under our control.

If it’s going to happen, I’ll put 20 bottle caps on it starting with a fast sea level change. And I will spend the apocalpyse building a hand-cranked generator and radio transmitter so I can post on STW that I was right.

howsyourdad1 – Member

plus we’ve got three axes.

So do I but I can’t see how that’ll help once the power’s off

Mass migration has already started on a scale never before seen. All it takes is a weather event to disrupt enough crops and then even more people will be on the move. Extra demands placed on key services in the recieving countries will result in breakdowns and failures. Throw in a disease or two to spread around and we would soon experience a massive population correction. We are not as far away from such a scenario as many people think.

I’ll sit inside a W123 Mercedes-Benz. Guaranteed to survive.

There will be Wi-Fi though, right?

My enthusiasm for surviving would to a large extent depend on the extent to which I might get the blame for the global apocalypse. I mean as I sit here, I’m thinking surely there’s no way she can pin that on me..?

Apparently you keep your mouth open in the event of a nuclear attack. Stops your eardrums bursting. I was not aware of that.

Apparently you keep your moth open in the event of a nuclear attack. Stops your eardrums bursting. I was not aware of that.

I reckon when you see that big mushroom cloud in the horizon you mouth will be wide open uttering f……………..

talking to a 20 something who had left home for first time, he stated in the event of a nuclear war my overdraft and debts will be gone, and free dowloads and wifi for a few years while they repopulate the call centres with un dead workers.

Couldnt work out if he was that thick or just believed in the daily mail.

The only survival guide you’ll ever need

You also take off all your clothes, especially cycling gear. That rapha top is gonna go up in flames

how would you survive when the end of the world comes?

The question is why do you want to live when everyone dies … 😆

Imagine if you survive but only to be half dead in pain do you want that?

If the world is coming to an end then I would have BBQ with my family members and enjoy the final moment together … then we all turn to dust.

However, in the unfortunate circumstances that my family and I live … then I want guns … many guns … more guns … big guns … you come near me? You threatening me? Want to speak to me mates Smith and Wesson do you? 😆

then I want guns … many guns … more guns … big guns … you come near me? You threatening me?

Don’t forget the ammunition as you’ll just look exceedingly silly if you do.

Depends on the definition of “end of the world”. Are we talking nuclear apocalypse with a handful of survivors wandering a radioactive wasteland or just the power going out for a week?

I think even something as “minor” as that would provoke total chaos – riots, looting, army on the streets, rationing. Imagine a total countrywide blackout lasting a week. I mean emergency stuff running off backup generators like hospitals etc would survive (just about) but I think we’re worryingly close to that level of chaos without even realising it.

funkmasterp – Member

… then I want guns … many guns … more guns … big guns … you come near me? You threatening me?

Don’t forget the ammunition as you’ll just look exceedingly silly if you do. [/quote] Ya, I have thought about that considering the UK law where guns and ammunition must be kept like several thousand miles apart in some sort of high security lock-up vault … 😆 Yes, definitely stock up plenty of ammo … 😆

Drac – Moderator

Yes, that … !!! 😆

If everyone is planning on going to the highlands it’s going to get pretty busy. That is, before everyone kills each other.

They’re running a trial in Maryport, just wait for the report to come in.

kenneththecurtain – Member
If everyone is planning on going to the highlands it’s going to get pretty busy. That is, before everyone kills each other.

Probably wise to stay below the wind coz all the nuclear air is going to blow up to the highlands, Yes? 😆

Quick thoughts;

The main problem is we’re likely to have is an endless winter (assuming a nuclear armageddon).

This means crops and animals that rely on crops will be unavailable after the first 6 months, and you have to survive probably 2 years before the air clears enough.

So the answer is to have a 22 singleshot rifle and a shotgun. The 22 is for small game and the shotgun is to encourage any preppers you come across to have community spirit and give all their goodies to you.

Rather than hunt game you can rely on a steady stream of soft southerners coming up to the Highlands – just eat the Tories and help the rest, although that may be too rich a diet.

Basic tools like a catapult are useful at short ranges and don’t require the time investment of building an archery arsenal. Ammunition is lying on the ground.

Other tools an axe, machete, wearable knife, a good spade and pick , and you’re set for building your own shelter out of the urban areas.

Transport. Singlespeed bike – probably a Surly Big Dummy fully set up would be ideal.

Alternatively become a Mormon now.

If the world is coming to an end then I would have BBQ with my family members

That’s the spirit! Get started on the cannibalism early doors……I’m sure they’ll be delicious.

Reading a survivalist magazine they reckon a black powder gun would be a good choice. You can make the powder and shot yourself whereas production ammo would be in short supply unless you have stashed a load.

Personally i’d like to be a goner in the first wave.

epicyclo – Member
So the answer is to have a 22 singleshot rifle and a shotgun. The 22 is for small game and the shotgun is to encourage any preppers you come across to have community spirit and give all their goodies to you.

Let me introduce you to CZ 512 .22LR /.22 Magnum semi-auto retails at £425 at my local gun store here. Yes, slightly stronger than .22 but hey who knows … I thought UK don’t sell guns but this one is on my list of guns I want … I want one … 😆

Don’t forget the pineapple rings. People are supposed to taste like pigs and everyone loves ham and pineapple. It pays to be prepared. Ooh and honey too. Mmmm honeyed human spare ribs.

Remember the guns are not for shooting animals but rather for self defense … 😆

funkmasterp – Member
Don’t forget the pineapple rings. People are supposed to taste like pigs and everyone loves ham and pineapple. It pays to be prepared. Ooh and honey too. Mmmm honeyed human spare ribs.

No cannibalisation … that’s against the law!

Realistically, the UK is too population dense to have a realistic chance of survival.
Once the sh*t hits the fan, you need remoteness with the ability to create power, heat and fresh water, hunt and gather/produce and the ability to protect yourself from those wanting what YOU have.
The US preppers are extreme, but in all honesty, 100% equipped and mentally ready to protect what they have.

If you cant do all this.. don’t bother 😉
However a grab bag with a weeks worth of water and food and other simple supplies in the event of natural disaster is a minimum even to survive in your home while the appropriate response action is put into place.

You can make the powder and shot yourself

Because everyone has a ready supply of sulphur, charcoal and potassium nitrate… A pestle & mortar works OK but if you’re going to be making lots of it you’ll need a ball mill.

Not to mention lead and the means for melting it, forming consistent lead balls and then having the knowledge and means to load a powder gun.

It’d be a lot easier to just go round shooting people and nicking their ammo.

Quick thoughts;

Let’s be honest, you’ve given this some thought…

grab bag

Well if you haven’t got the stuff to make it crazy-legs just say 😉

It was an American mag and I guess they they probably learn that stuff in kindergarten.

dirksdiggler – Member
Realistically, the UK is too population dense to have a realistic chance of survival.

They will just have to consume long pigs which they will because they want to survive. As an island UK just have to consume herself. 😛

The US preppers are extreme, but in all honesty, 100% equipped and mentally ready to protect what they have.

Most importantly they have vast land from North to South and as long as they have guns and ammo they can survive for a very long time. 😀

embracingRide the lightning

Ftfy

So long as noone plays that sodding REM song.

So depends on the apocalypse, nukes and anywhere in the U.K. is toast. REALLY HOT toast. My mates went on a bunker tour skiving off work one day. They said it was the most horrific depressing day they’d had. Working near Gatwick I suspect my last thoughts apart from Mrs M and the pets would be I hope some sub captain has successfully got his Tridents off to ruin the instigators day.

Zombie apocalypse and I reckon I’ve a chance, I know a few hidey holes that are really secure/remote in Sussex, though knowing my luck I’ll be working in London the day it occurs.

Plague survivor, plenty of food (tinned). I’d probably raid the local police station for guns and then being rampantly paranoid kill every survivor I see on sight. I suspect I’d go from alcohol poisoning or fast car/tree interface.

AI attack/nano plague/alien invasion, probably dead in the first few days.
.

Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.